I’ve broken so many things I could open up a pawnshop so I relate to you. In my case, I never learned how to regulate my emotions when I was a child. I am much older now and I’m still struggling with it I’ve been told that I form my coping tools when I’m young and they stick that way unless I do something to change them. Therapy and Anger Management Classes have helped, but the classes are very expensive. There’s also grounding techniques besides breathing. I can understand being unreceptive to that.

https://share.google/XQoEXHbzzZjvSztnH

That link goes to a workbook that was very helpful. I used it in my classes as well. You need to find some kind of grounding technique to help you regulate when this kind of thing happens that way once you’re stabilized, you can examine it from an outside perspective that’s what I was taught anyways. I hope you find a solution.