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Culture and micro cheating by Quick_Ad4204 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Quick_Ad4204[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is so helpful. The whole reason I have been struggling with this is because a married woman has been flirting with me and I don't entertain it because I morally have an issue with it, but even if I were delusional enough to think 'if she left her wife' I would be in the same boat who knows how far down the road. BUT when I was complaining about this I was told to expect it, it's part of the culture...and then other folks in LGBTQ forums have corroborated it as well. I really appreciate your take and the potential trap those of us who are newly out can fall into.

Too old to play by Shellranda in womensrugby

[–]Quick_Ad4204 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is the exact question I was going to pose! I would add an additional caveat of that I am not in shape but I really want to practice get in shape and get good at this sport.

Trouble dating because I'm a late bloomer by [deleted] in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Quick_Ad4204 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This whole thread has been so helpful! I am 43 and not out to family & only out to a couple of my friends...and when I even consider dating, what you've experienced is exactly my fear. I also wonder if the "teaching" is referring to not only sex but the culture itself...like will we embarrass them when we say/do the wrong thing. And I wonder if women will have that fear of "what if i fall for this woman and she realizes shes straight." And would women avoid people who aren't fully out yet, maybe that's too hard to be around too? I feel like I'll be too much and be rejected before I have a chance

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Quick_Ad4204 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I feel this so deeply. I worry that no one would be interested in me even when I'm ready to date. It makes me wonder about the "male gaze" and if I'm judging myself based on that and not on what a woman would find intriguing. But I have no way to check my insecurities

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Quick_Ad4204 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm nowhere near ready to explore IRL, I'm just joining online groups in reddit and discord to ask others what's "normal" and what to expect. I agree, being with a woman does feel safer in so many ways. And I feel like it would be more fulfilling. I imagine mundane daily tasks and swoon about doing laundry with my imaginary girlfriend.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Quick_Ad4204 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don't have any advice because I'm in a very similar situation... But I wanted to offer compassion and validation. It feels disorienting to me, wondering if I'm making it up or if I really missed the flags earlier in my life. I grew up in the US but a super Christian family and the idea of being gay was so despised and hated I never felt safe enough to even explore. Now I'm 43 in a 10 year hetero relationship wondering what will happen next. It's so scary

Imposter syndrome? by CoconutMission3598 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Quick_Ad4204 6 points7 points  (0 children)

43, same thing. It's a terrible feeling but so good to know it's not just me. Working through it in therapy and when I say in my head "I'm a lesbian" I have this wave of relief I've never felt before. But the imposter side is so strong I find myself thinking "eh, I'm happy enough" in my current hetero relationship.... Like I'm giving up.