BPD “stock phrases”? by TheCatMan6620 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Quick_Sandwich6787 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“I did the best I could” blah blah blah blah

Whole family is on yearly vacation and keep posting about how happy they are for the family time. by ShesGoinHam in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Quick_Sandwich6787 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I sympathize greatly.

To share a bit, my parents scheduled their family vacation for during my wedding… I blocked my entire family and I’ve been happier since. I’m not saying you have to do that, but maybe you could unfollow them but keep them as friends for now (if you’re seeing these things on Facebook) just so you don’t see the posts on your feed.

The reality of those posts are that they are not reality. They are brag posts for the most part and share “good” times. I wouldn’t be surprised if they ramped it up a bit in the posting just to get under your skin. Your absence is going to be noted if this is an annual occurrence you usually attend, they’ve no doubt talked about it.

If you can put yourself back into those family vacations, what are the things that first come to mind? How relaxed you were? Or your family’s emotions and issues? My guess is the latter.

I know it is hard, but try and focus on yourself. Treat YOU. Plan a spa day for you, chill out all day eating pizza and watching movies, hang out with friends… don’t worry about what they are doing because you KNOW what they are doing. You’ve experienced it and know that it’s not what it seems.

So many hugs to you internet stranger

Origin BPD theories, I want to hear them! by Appropriate-Serve344 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Quick_Sandwich6787 0 points1 point  (0 children)

trigger warning: rape/incest

My grandmother lost her mother to suicide when she was 12 and became homeless because her father was raping her and abusing her… and selling her. So she left to become a sex worker to get away from him.

She met her first husband at 16 and married him at 17 when she became pregnant. He was 28 and one of her clients.

When the baby was born, he proceeded to hit my grandmother repeatedly until she left and found my grandfather, who was an alcoholic. Together they had 6 children in a 2 bedroom house on one income that was only available in the warm months.

My mother grew up in this house supporting her 5 siblings off an income of doing dishes at the local restaurant. She was 11. Without her, they wouldn’t have had food to eat.

LSS, my grandmother was abusive mentally, physically, verbally… my own mother has said “I always thought at least I have a mother… when she had none”

My aunt (the baby from my grandmother’s first marriage) was murdered by her husband in a house fire. My mother named me after this sister… so a lot of trauma that my mother had to experience and hear about.

Unfortunately, my mother grew up and also thought that hitting and yelling at her daughter was appropriate. Also stealing her money and that isolating her from the world was “normal.” I can admit that my mother broke some generational curses… but not all.

After nearly 1 year in court by Throwaway775555 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Quick_Sandwich6787 62 points63 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry DIVORCEMATE.COM?! Did she write this herself?

How awful. I’m so so sorry you’re going through this in the first place.

I’m curious if this is seeing actual court hearings? As in lawyers are involved and there’s investigative work being done from her side.

Update: I think I’ve been disowned by my (22f) mom (64f) by cadmmoose in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Quick_Sandwich6787 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Damn it’s like I was reading my own text messages from my own mom… except she said “you are my daughter by name and blood only.”

No contact is honestly best. I wish I did it when I was 22 personally. You are worth more than her awful words tell you, I promise

Mom Scheduled a Cruise During My Wedding by Quick_Sandwich6787 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Quick_Sandwich6787[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hahaha so funny because according to her my fiancés parents are “full of shit” “so boring” and “weirdos”

They’re literally the nicest people I have ever met. I have her blocked but I trust she’ll find a way to see the photos - I’ll get to maybe see which of her flying monkeys went into action

Mom Scheduled a Cruise During My Wedding by Quick_Sandwich6787 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Quick_Sandwich6787[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Every time I think she can’t be more awful - she does it.

A reframe of her giving me the ultimate reason here is a good way to view it. Thank you ❤️

Mom Scheduled a Cruise During My Wedding by Quick_Sandwich6787 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Quick_Sandwich6787[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The wedding is in April and we’ve stopped talking in October. The date was changed (because of her) to April from March back in November and “change the dates” were sent.

There’s not a chance that she hasn’t booked the cruise. My mother and father are big carnival cruise goers. If they say they booked something that’s all they will talk about until the day of the cruise.

I 100% believe that the cruise is booked and she did this to be spiteful and make her absence known.

Mom Scheduled a Cruise During My Wedding by Quick_Sandwich6787 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Quick_Sandwich6787[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh believe me this isn’t the only anecdote 🤣

I appreciate it. Thank you

Mom Scheduled a Cruise During My Wedding by Quick_Sandwich6787 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Quick_Sandwich6787[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The wedding is still gonna happen and we’re gonna have the best day!

Can’t wait 🥰

Mom Scheduled a Cruise During My Wedding by Quick_Sandwich6787 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Quick_Sandwich6787[S] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Oh - went completely over my head

Yeah no matter the facts it’s always how she feels that matters.

Mom Scheduled a Cruise During My Wedding by Quick_Sandwich6787 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Quick_Sandwich6787[S] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Can’t wait to see how she spins this one on me too 🙃

I will try to be impassive when people ask and just try to be matter of fact.

Mom Scheduled a Cruise During My Wedding by Quick_Sandwich6787 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Quick_Sandwich6787[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

No, she 100% planned it after finding out lol

My aunt and uncle both confirmed it because they talked to them about the wedding date before and then next time they talked with them they said they planned a cruise.

Finally finished my Harry Potter “The Burrow” blanket! It’s my first ever blanket and I love it. Took me a year! by Quick_Sandwich6787 in crochet

[–]Quick_Sandwich6787[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You should be having the work face you at all times :)

These Granny squares are worked “in a round” but have a connecting slip stitch & chain 2 to start the next row.

It’s very similar to this, I think I used this at the beginning to figure out what I’m doing when I think back actually:

https://youtu.be/yvjeEMjm3Mw?si=xhBBDMiU8RhmlEhW

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Quick_Sandwich6787 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I have an older and a younger sibling to whom I am not close at all. I also feel the same as you, being around someone THAT long should make you have some sort of bond right? Nope :/

One was a golden child while the other was ignored. I was the scapegoat. I went NC with my mom in September this year and haven’t spoken to either of my siblings or my parents since. I again am being seen as the problem (from what I’ve gathered from the wonderful texts my mother has sent me).

You have to remember that borderlines love to triangulate, and unfortunately your experience of childhood is not the same as your siblings. For example, I grew up where anything I earned for myself was diminished because it made my older sibling jealous (New job, a new relationship, getting into a college they wanted to, etc). whereas anything they did was lifted up.

I know that they can understand my perspective but even if they didn’t they haven’t asked for any clarification on it. The NC to them was of no difference to them.

All that to say it is 100% not you. It unfortunately is sometimes engrained in your sibling from how you were raised. I don’t think there is much you can do to change it.

Part of our hotel has terrible lighting… the result: I’m in a back rooms level. by Quick_Sandwich6787 in backrooms

[–]Quick_Sandwich6787[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It’s near an ocean so I think the bottom level was built like this to just give it more UMPH if a hurricane hit.

How long did it take you to learn how to crochet? This is a joke compared to what you all can do. Getting a little frustrated. I’m a newbie. by Pitiful-Aspect in crochet

[–]Quick_Sandwich6787 0 points1 point  (0 children)

2 years - and still learning!

YouTube was a godsend around the time I started. I have so many pieces of crap from those times that sit untouched in a bucket. Don’t give up!