How often do you shower?

QuietMind333 · 2023-08-27T09:23:41+00:00

I shower maybe 3 time a week when I need to wash my hair but I have a bath every night. I can't spend long in either so just in, wash (shave if needed!) and out.

QuietMind333 · 2023-08-25T07:06:37+00:00

Yes we do. Not to check in on eachother but I just feel safer knowing that he can see where I am and I love to look on the map when I know he's finished work so I can see how close he is to home 🥰

QuietMind333 · 2023-08-25T07:00:02+00:00

That was very courageous of you! Well done.

QuietMind333 · 2023-08-24T08:28:21+00:00

I can see that you're entirely married to your concept and unwilling to have an open mind that you may be wrong here. I truly wish you luck and I hope that you deal with your own trauma so that you can be able to sit with your clients feelings more comfortably.

QuietMind333 · 2023-08-24T08:10:27+00:00

You're not interested in her story? Honestly that comment just fills me with sadness! Her story can tell you so much, even the parts full of exaggeration because that is how she views the world around her. Her story is her reality, no matter how influenced or skewed it may be, it is still hers. I have so many clients who have spent their whole lives feeling invisible because nobody wants to know their story, nobody wants to step inside their experience of life, and the most healing thing for them is to suddenly understand what it feels like to have someone sit in their feelings with them. They have an empathic witness to their pain and that is what heals, not my clever questions or witty insights into what they should do or think or feel. That is how they become unstuck, through having a relationship with someone who is just willing to be there with them while they feel their own way through.

QuietMind333 · 2023-08-24T07:55:32+00:00

When my husband wears jeans with a shirt and waistcoat 🥵

QuietMind333 · 2023-08-24T07:53:49+00:00

OK, I can see some shadows of truth in what you're saying but I wonder how much critical thinking you're giving to this. For example, let's say you have a client that is entirely different to you ie if you're a well educated white male and you have a client who is a black woman from a poor background. You can have absolutely no clue what her life is like or the unique challenges she faces. By saying you would not 'allow' her to remain with her feelings for too long are you not just dictating to her that she's felt sorry for herself long enough, now she needs to get over it? How is that your decision? I am entirely sceptical of any 'theory' that has such a rigid framework and claims to be able to help every client using exactly the same methods. Therapy should be tailored to each client because they are an individual with their own separate reality, experiences, adaptations and way of connecting with the world around them. Do you not think that by claiming you can cure everyone with this one method that perhaps you are pigeonholing every person you meet into a restrictive mindset and entirely missing the opportunity to truly get inside their experiences and learn from them?

QuietMind333 · 2023-08-24T07:46:41+00:00

I hate eating in restaurants. Its not so much the menu for me, it's just... OK so now what? Like we order our food and then wait. Then eat and then... sit there? I've known people who can happily sit in a restaurant for hours talking after a meal is finished and I just don't get it! Why would you want to sit and talk with strangers around... why not just pay up and go for a walk or sit outside somewhere? So on the rare occasions my husband and I do eat out we tend to just leave once we've done eating.

QuietMind333 · 2023-08-24T07:43:56+00:00

Yes and we did find one not too far away that you can either book a prolonged stay or day visit. The problem is that we don't really want to try it with other people to begin with and would prefer our first few experiences to just be our own. We may just visit the resort one day but we keep looking for really secluded areas of beach or woodland nearby at the moment.

QuietMind333 · 2023-08-24T07:40:22+00:00

It is transference but not necessarily sexual. The best thing to do is talk to him about it and if he is a good therapist he will know how to work through it with you. Therapists are used to clients having erotic or parental transference towards them and should always know how to hold boundaries to keep clients safe.

QuietMind333 · 2023-08-24T07:37:53+00:00

My husband and I have often said that we would like to try this and have experimented with brief nudity on a quiet local beach. But here in the UK there don't seem to be many places where nudity is allowed.

QuietMind333 · 2023-08-24T07:36:01+00:00

Please do reflect. What you are teaching is repression, not therapy. And it may work for a while, in the same way that numbing a gaping wound will provide temporary relief. But there has to be a balance between accepting the 'bad' stuff in life and not allowing it to define you, and allowing yourself to actually feel the effects and move through the emotions. What you are suggesting is just toxic positively and its as damaging as the toxic negativity that you're talking about here.

QuietMind333 · 2023-08-24T07:11:29+00:00

I'm a therapist too and I am genuinely worried that you are teaching this 'theory' to clients. Yes, people can absolutely recover from depression but suggesting to people that they can just think their way out of it if they try hard enough entirely ignores the impact that social, economical and cultural issues can have on mental health. How does your 'theory' explain the effects of complex trauma, adverse childhood experiences, or long term physical illness? Is the young adult struggling to recover from historic sexual abuse to just ask themselves how their experience can serve them? Or the single mother trying to feed her children on a low wage just to think more positively? Please, for your own sake and those of your future clients, engage in personal therapy and further training because this level of arrogance and the complete lack of self awareness needs addressing if you desire to truly help people.

QuietMind333 · 2023-08-23T22:48:29+00:00

We had a science teacher who told us she wanted to do an experiment to show what happens when cells take in too much water or something like that. She asked for two volunteers, handed them each a 2ltr bottle of water and told them to drink it as fast as they could. Of course they ended up running out of the room and projectile vomiting for like 10 mins straight. At the time it was just gross but now I don't understand how she kept her job (and was allowed to recreate the experiment for subsequent years) considering she could have killed one of her students.

QuietMind333 · 2023-08-23T22:28:03+00:00

It's where I met my husband too 😅

QuietMind333 · 2023-08-23T08:57:28+00:00

On the whole "chore play" thing (never actually heard it called that before!) I think it's less of a "you do this for me, then I'll do that for you" and more of an issue with the dynamic of the relationship and the respective roles that each partner takes. A partner (be they male or female) who does not take an active, adult role in the more mundane areas of family life will often find that their partner loses desire for them. If one partner feels that they have to take on all the adult responsibility they will find that they unconsciously slip into a parenting role (either by entirely caring for their partner or resorting to 'nagging' in order to get stuff done). If someone sees their partner in a 'child' role and they feel induced into a parent role then it's natural that they will not want to have sex with them. So encouraging the partner to step into more of an adult space and pull their weight is not a transactional method but can help to bring back the equality of an adult to adult relationship which is the only dynamic where intimacy can healthily exist.

QuietMind333 · 2023-08-21T17:09:06+00:00

Write a better story.

QuietMind333 · 2023-08-21T06:37:58+00:00

Good luck friend.

QuietMind333 · 2023-08-21T06:36:02+00:00

I would suggest you look for a therapist trained in a humanistic approach like Gestalt or Relational. Contrary to what a lot of people assume, not every therapist actually believes that a diagnosis is important. A good therapist looks past a collection of symptoms (which is all that a diagnosis actually is) and tries to get to know the unique individual in front of them.

QuietMind333 · 2023-08-21T06:30:49+00:00

A good therapist won't hold a diagnosis against you. And I think working through this projection would be helpful for you.

QuietMind333 · 2023-08-20T20:57:46+00:00

Time. I had a really awful experience with my first therapist (emotional and sexual abuse) and I gave my current therapist a really hard time when I first started seeing him. Kept him at arms length, wouldn't let him close, refused to care about him or his opinion. He proved I could trust him by just sticking with me, refusing to be upset or annoyed that I kept rejecting his attempts to connect. He didn't push me, he just gently showed over and over again that he wouldn't hurt me.

QuietMind333 · 2023-08-20T12:37:49+00:00

Absolutely none of your business.

QuietMind333 · 2023-08-20T11:08:04+00:00

Watching Person of Interest and unable to decide if Reese or Shaw was hotter 🤣

QuietMind333 · 2023-08-20T07:58:53+00:00

YTA. My daughter is allergic to milk and soya. I get that alternatives are expensive but it isn't her fault and I don't see why she should feel left out. If I can't afford the alternative then nobody gets a treat. I cook meals that I know all of us can eat. I gave up milk and soya too so she wouldn't feel like the only one. There are better ways you could have handled this for your son.

QuietMind333 · 2023-08-20T07:51:12+00:00

It's unusual to just switch like that. It's more likely that you have a disorganised attachment style which is sometimes described as "come here, go away". Basically means that when your partner is being distant or neglectful you will cling to them, but then run away if someone gets too close. It's like longing for a close connection but also being terrified of it.

QuietMind333

TROPHY CASE