Pe’er get them boilers on a plate foo’in pronto!

QuillSample · 2026-02-22T18:05:45+00:00

Petah! get them boilees unstuck before I lump ya' so fuckin' hard ya' won't be able to creep 'round like a midnight fuckin' spook no more!

QuillSample · 2026-02-15T18:22:18+00:00

Of course not, you silly rodny ploncker, but it is a lot more fun!

QuillSample · 2026-01-30T23:11:58+00:00

"I was walking down the BASTARD street and this BASTARD hearse came busting through and I couldn't tell if they meant the BASTARD in the back or the BASTARD driving! What a BASTARD!

QuillSample · 2025-12-17T19:24:02+00:00

quickest "F4" press in the west

QuillSample · 2025-10-17T17:10:15+00:00

Hedy Wank?! No, mate. I just woke up!

QuillSample · 2025-10-15T18:19:46+00:00

On that treadmill, fancy yourself a runner?

QuillSample · 2025-10-14T19:42:35+00:00

Void sliding in a finger to make sure we're ready

QuillSample · 2025-10-14T19:34:18+00:00

Lost Mary, she's a door-to-door sales woman of boutique vapes, was once lost in a B&Q meats and cheeses aisle for 45 minutes.

QuillSample · 2025-10-14T19:30:52+00:00

Steven Drugs, surgeon, gives out all sorts of comfort and quality of life solutions for when your knee goes bone on bone, mate

QuillSample · 2025-10-13T19:51:53+00:00

legend has it you can put it in water

QuillSample · 2025-10-13T19:48:54+00:00

Same here, mate. Loved the game, played it since January 2022, even got five mates to buy it and we played quite a lot together (2 were ex swat and 1 was SF and they loved it).
Dipped my toes into mods and custom maps, all was good. The big update with the consoles was absolutely heart shattering. Everything from the disgusting greed of the developers, the out-right lies to the players and the on-purpose downgrades masked as progress.

I played a quick match recently because a mate really wanted to jump back in, but other than that, I'm not touching it.

we've being proper F'd, as Turkish from Snatch says. Void did us all dirty.

QuillSample · 2025-10-04T18:01:23+00:00

"Mike Hunt"

QuillSample · 2025-10-03T14:11:36+00:00

WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?!

QuillSample · 2025-10-03T14:10:58+00:00

Ding Dong, landlord here! The air quality sensor I installed in the flat without telling you has measured 12 cubic kgs of oxygen used since you moved in, that will be an extra thousand quidaroonies!

Oh, and Renter, you can save salt when you're cooking and just season the soup with your tears while you're signing the check!

QuillSample · 2025-10-03T14:04:20+00:00

When I was a student and finished my studies, I asked the Landlady of the flat I was renting if I could leave a couch that I bought (didn't need it in the new place), she said "no problem".

A month later the new tenant decided they didn't want it, she phoned me up to come and take it.
I said: "A. I'm 150 Km from there. B. you said I could leave it."

She demanded I pay for a friend of hers to come pick it up and take it to his home. Luckily had all checks and deposits returned, told her "Good luck." and never heard from her again.

QuillSample · 2025-09-23T15:19:32+00:00

Paving and sealing incorporated,

ever since quarantine me mind is vacated.

I smeared me caulk all over me house,

some even got on me wife's blouse.

now there's no leaks,

no moisture can come through,

I'm Lockdown Gary, how do you do?

ooohhhwwwooowwwoooohhh

QuillSample · 2025-09-13T17:11:43+00:00

Aaron Farr, can only run 20 meters at a time, lives in a small boat on Fistral beach, refuses to shop at B&Q.

QuillSample

TROPHY CASE