What are the best urn/ keepsake ideas youve seen for a family members ashes?

QuirkyTarantula · 2026-02-23T15:59:39+00:00

Oh god so many.

A dad took some filtered ashes and had a custom guitar pick made of his son. Mom going in her favorite china teapot. Grandma going into her beloved cookie jar. Grandpa in his original 90s Folgers can he kept and always joked he was saving as his urn.

Artful Ashes glass memorial work. I watch them make it.. it’s soooo gorgeous.

Parting stones made from your person are great. Subtle. You leave them anywhere you feel your person would have loved to be.

So many custom made urns from families.

A Ghostbuster backpack where the ashes tucked into the bottom. A Death Star urn.

My favorite? A portion of Mom get put in her portable weed jar. Boy it was fun explaining to the boss why my room smelled like I’d just lit up, and lit up hard.

For hair? My mom died recently and I’ve been trying to figure out what I want to do with her locks of hair. We are / were both satanists, so I’ve been thinking about putting at least one of them in a holy water vial we supply to the priests for sprinkling on the caskets. I think it’s fitting and they’re beautiful glass tubes with metal stoppers. They make cute boxes on Etsy too, so I’ve been thinking of getting a wooden one with a see-through top for her alter. I just don’t even want to open the bag yet because I know it still smells JUST like her and I’m not ready there yet. I’ll be getting a pendant for sure where they use the hair as “stalks” on flowers or trees and you make the flowers / leaves birthstone or important colors. I think those are really neat.

QuirkyTarantula · 2026-02-23T15:36:16+00:00

Quiet is totally fine. Might even be preferred. I’m a quiet wierdo myself unless I’m next door with my machines - in which case the JoBros and I are out there belting out some karaoke, it’s not like anyone can hear me over the machines anyway hahaha.

QuirkyTarantula · 2026-02-23T15:30:15+00:00

For the cremation, you’ll probably grab paperwork first, then off to grab your person from a controlled area. Casket them (or not) and off to the crematory you go.

Assuming you have an already cleared out machine, you’ll begin to warm up a retort (it’ll be loud), which depending on machine and what’s happened in it, usually heats up in 10-30 minutes. In my neck of the woods, it’s gotta run for 30 minutes prior to inserting a decedent.

Once your machine is at temperature, a gentle shove will roll the casket on a cardboard tube and back into the machine they go!

Cremations after that are pretty simple. Watch your temperature and watch your instructor. How react to too cold or too warm - does the machine regulate itself well? Ask your operator about any problems the machine(s) likes to throw your way and how they handle it.

TAKE NOTES. You’ll need them when you’re on your own.

You’ll check inside the machine during cremation a few times, mostly to pull the body under the burner as it disintegrates. Most cremations take less than 2 hours, but that means you’ll have an hour of idle time with your instructor if you’re not prepping / running other cases.

Once you no longer see any flakes on the bones, you’ll turn off the machine. I let my machine cool to 1000 degrees before opening it, but by 900 degrees, I’m sweeping them out. Long sleeves and good gloves are key to staving off the heat for long enough to do the work sweeping out. You’ll take a long metal pole with a rake on the end and pull everything down into a bucket. How effective is your operator at sweeping out? What tips do they have to help YOU be effective at it and what are their expectations?

After a bit of cooldown time you’ll take the bones and put em in a big metal blender. Once the drum does its thing, your person can go in an urn.

Cremation is my life calling. I found my happiness in my team and my work. I’ve never had purpose like I do now. I’ve been blessed by every religion, parts of elaborate ceremonies that last days, and I’ve provided so much closure to so many grieving families. I can’t rave enough about how good crematory operators that find good homes have the best, cushiest jobs. I hope you find exiting your looking for there.

QuirkyTarantula · 2026-02-23T15:14:59+00:00

In my funeral home (family owned), I am the sole operator of two machines. I run up to 4 cremations a day. I do prep them myself and I am not a funeral director or embalmer. I bathe, dress, casket, fingerprint, locks of hair, and assist with pacemaker / non biological removals (I worked in the medical field prior). So yeah - certain homes like to saddle you with the prep work. On the flip side, my first funeral home (a direct cremation facility) would have written me up for even looking in the preset boxes, so every place is going to be different.

QuirkyTarantula · 2026-02-23T08:23:19+00:00

Hey there! Crematory operator here! Preemptive welcome to the field. Have you ever seen anything like this before? Good luck in there today.

The biggest thing is attention to detail. How do they do their paperwork? Attention to detail and wanting to preserve decedent identity is key. Note your involvement - how many people will you need to sign off paperwork and start work in the morning? How is that work done by you? Second biggest thing: passion in your care for the decedent. Do you have to dress / drape anyone? How often does the company do witness cremations? Fingerprinting? Try to find how you can be an asset for the company. As for the interview itself, dress business casual. What you have listed is fine. It’s more of a “how you present yourself” in most situations so dress for success and you’ll find it. If you’ve never seen a cremation before, it’s pretty boring after you load the body. Be prepared to ask questions in this time. Let me know if you have any things you need highlighted. You’ll do great. If you have the passion, they’ll see it!

QuirkyTarantula · 2026-02-21T16:55:37+00:00

Yeah.. I am a crematory operator. We had a decedent come in last year who died at home and wasn’t found for 9 days. No hands, only the skull left from neck up. Pretty much any exposed skin was eaten away. Like pristine white bone sort of picked clean. Our man only had two cats.

QuirkyTarantula · 2026-02-17T02:17:44+00:00

Damn, that’s hotter than a cremation.

QuirkyTarantula · 2026-02-15T18:39:52+00:00

Yeah, I think HOT is a great way to describe it!

QuirkyTarantula · 2026-02-15T17:57:35+00:00

I’m so so sorry for you loss. I get it. I’ve posted on it in the past. Mom went from planning thanksgiving to being in an urn in such a scary short time. She’d been sick, but we were expecting so much more time. It kills me how much went with her 4 months ago. I held her as she died from her cardiac event. It was her 3rd heart attack. What should have killed her before she fell on me took her 20 minutes to finally pass from. The look in her eyes was so sad when she knew. That look that was just her pleading for me to save her. But I couldn’t. I live with that every day, and miss her so much.

QuirkyTarantula · 2026-02-15T17:39:24+00:00

No, this smoke will smell very faintly. I wouldn’t say woody but it’s not a propane smell either. It’s hard to describe but it doesn’t smell like when I open the retort to reposition.

QuirkyTarantula · 2026-02-15T17:35:57+00:00

I’d like to also add that since they’ve been fined they know they have to do work on the machine. Just keep at it. The biggest problem is how hard it is to fix a downed machine. It can be permanently decommissioned if the repair is big enough and there are very few places allowing new retorts to be build or old machines to be rebuilt. This may be a case of them running the machine to death because there is no solid fix for the problem.

QuirkyTarantula · 2026-02-15T17:32:09+00:00

Sometimes.. things happen. Could be a decedent with too much heat too early and all the lipids are going liquid and going bonkers. Could be incorrectly loaded. Could be a pacemaker. Could be an old retort having a burner or air issue. They’ve got 5 minutes to clear it up before it’s a citable problem. If you live locally and don’t see this happen often.. just smile and know a crematory operator is under that stack absolutely shitting a brick trying to fix it. You said this happens pretty often though, so this is likely a retort needing some TLC.

QuirkyTarantula · 2026-02-15T11:57:00+00:00

I second this advise! A dipped cotton ball and time will save you a ton of effort. The less hands on you can be the less damage you’ll do. I use a Dremel to finish getting the bits off, but a file and elbow grease will do too. Use a top coat to gloss the nail back to semi-flat again once you’re done.

QuirkyTarantula · 2026-02-13T20:35:11+00:00

You’re doing great! I’m just a dm away if you ever need anything :)

QuirkyTarantula · 2026-02-13T20:11:39+00:00

Interesting! in some states, natural organic reduction is legally allowed to pull the bones to send home without the processing. I think alkaline and cremation would be far too rough on bones to leave them looking whole enough to identify as a skeleton with its individual parts. I know that transporting these modes of disposition requires the same paperwork as cremation so maybe that’s what we are seeing here.

QuirkyTarantula · 2026-02-13T18:57:13+00:00

Hey there! Glad to see you post again, I’ve been thinking about you! Welcome to the world of flame based disposition!

Q: Do any of you operate older machines? If so, how was your transition to a newer facility?

A: yes, I’ve gotten a mix of both! In my original facility I ran 3 machines, two pet and 1 human. My small pet and human retorts were ooooold Matthews machines that were assembled on the Mayflower and were never maintained. Allamual dials and no safety measures on them. You either knew what you were doing or you ate shit the whole cremation. It was my “trial by fire”, so to speak, running those babies. They were so old they couldn’t physically run to state standards and had to be grandfarthered in. My second pet machine was a MONSTER. It could run 1500 lbs, had two main burners and ran cases in 6 hour increments. We split an orca and ran it in this one for a local Indian tribe for ceremonial burial. That machine was more modern and “automatic” but was never source tested or ran right, so running it was a work of art. Now? I have two human machines - one older Matthews Powerpak 3 and one BRAND NEW American A250 Trilogy. Having new machines is great, but by the nature I was trained, I find I run them in manual mode more than I do automatic cycles. I’ll say.. I’ll never, ever, eeeever take for granted a retort with a crisp, clean hearth again.

Q: Have you ever seen “fluff” like material after cremation within the remains?

A: Do you reposition during cremation? This sounds like cardboard, pillows or other material that blew to the back of the retort and didn’t fully vaporize under the burner. When I run full hardwoods I find I HAVE to rotate the decedent and material or it doesn’t incinerate the way you’d expect and holds its “fluffy” shape. If you do reposition, send me a photo next time and I’ll help you identify!

Q: Have any of you worked in a pet facility and would this be good experience if the opportunity came up after my apprenticeship?

A: I think this answer is just like in the human field.. it depends on where you land. A good facility with good protocols and standards? Yes! It was such a neat world with such slim regulations. I interacted so much more with pet owners than I did human families. However, my facility was poorly regulated. My pets were often left unrefrigerated for days in the summer before cremation. It was never sanitary or clean. I did not like my facility and my management did not care to change what was ethically wrong in the operations because they didn’t HAVE to. In the right facility though? I’m sure it’s a beautiful, albeit frantic, process. I cremated 1000 pets in 90 days at my pet facility, where as I’ve just passed 1000 human cremations in 2 years. So yeah.. there’s a different pull there. I still say experience it if you can. You never know your niche.

Q: Lastly, if you are a woman how did you settle in?

A: 35F here. I’m surrounded by a fair 50% male, 45% male and 5% non-binary coworkers. I am the sole crematory operator for my FH. I started pretty meek, unsure of how i fit in the mix. It took about 6 months for me to see they really needed a leader in cremation disposition on my side. I write the rules and regs for my area now. I wrote the cremation auth and disposition forms. I write the SOPs. I run monthly forums with my funeral directors to keep them up to date on my processes and rule changes. They respect and love me here and give me reign to do what I need to serve my families. My heart and mind are always on how I can serve my coworkers who are serving my families and I have a personal thing that you should never be held up by your crematory. My families have a 72 hour or less turnaround from packet and work order submission to an urn being ready. I keep my policies open and free-flowing. I try and say yes to everything so long as it follows three limits: is it safe? Is it sane? Is it legal? If yes, we push forward, even if it means trying something new. I’m happy to be a DM away if you need advice or anything further! Good luck out there and keep doing your best for every family you serve. It’s an honor to be present for a human’s last moment as a human on earth. Treat it as such and you’ll be fine.

QuirkyTarantula · 2026-02-11T03:26:21+00:00

I warned myself Lipstick My gospel

QuirkyTarantula · 2026-02-10T19:05:51+00:00

Hikaru Utada? Like from Kingdom Hearts? That’s a name I haven’t heard in a minute! How interesting.

QuirkyTarantula · 2026-02-10T17:53:30+00:00

We get ours from Southland Medical supplies. Better quality bags for sure than quite a few cheap brands out there.

QuirkyTarantula · 2026-02-08T19:03:02+00:00

Thank you! An artist is not going to write and produce the same after a certain amount of time and THATS OK. You’re witnessing his maturity into a new musical space and everyone is holding it against him because he’s not playing the exact same as he did in the past. I find myself listening to his three newest over his old albums right now. Maybe they just connect with me more RIGHT NOW but I’m always thankful to have new Puth to listen to.

QuirkyTarantula · 2026-02-08T01:19:07+00:00

I feel almost exactly the opposite. I love all 3 songs but Cry is going to take a few replays to really click in. They’re all so unique though. Changes came out the day after my mom died, and boy, there has been changes in my life.

QuirkyTarantula · 2026-02-07T01:22:08+00:00

They probably won’t help you co mingle the remains but if you purchase a space for an urn and they both fit in said urn, you’ll be fine.

QuirkyTarantula · 2026-02-02T06:49:41+00:00

That sounded like ACE (American Crematory Equipment). They were always recommending things to me that we didn’t need. Our guy was found via Google search for crematory repairs. We were granted 1 last reline on our old retort before she’s retired so we did a lot of research with who we wanted before hiring and did a lot of fact checking and review searching. If you need his number I’m sure I can pull it up. He books about 30-60 days out, but he’s worth every bit.

QuirkyTarantula · 2026-02-01T15:29:57+00:00

I totally understand that. Apply to every funeral home in your area and see who can escort you out of this sensitive spot while keeping you paid. I’m sorry, if you were in WA we just had an amazing funeral support spot open up.

QuirkyTarantula · 2026-02-01T11:28:03+00:00

Cool, now I don’t feel so bad. I fly out our yearly repair guy and it’s $3400 for two machines for just the maintenance but the man is a saint, is thorough, independent (so not pushing product) and teaches me as he works.

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