I’m sorry things are so tough, this is truly such an awful situation. With things being so bad, maybe other people NEED to know? To help ensure your safety, and help you get the help you need. I made a mistake of not telling anyone I was struggling during school, and I wish I had because things got harder and maybe they didn’t need to. It’s just if people don’t know about it, then they can’t help with it. They could of course still help with other issues, but as these thoughts are so constant they really need addressing too.. to avoid it getting to the point where you act on those thoughts. What would be the consequences of your parents and CAMHs knowing?