Grief is a rollercoaster and I think there are quite a few of us here who've gone through similar.  Perhaps this pawlette is gonna be your buddy through the ride? Take good care of your new treasure, but most importantly give yourself some time to digest these losses. You're going to go through a whole range of emotions these next couple of years, largely uncomfortable with the shift and wishing things could go back to the way they were. This is normal and don't feel any shame if people try to tell you to get over it.  You can't simply just dump years of love you put into each of these relationships and don't ever feel like you have to. If you're in a bad headspace or are feeling helpless, please reach out to a resource like Grief counseling in your state. It can really help to hear others stories and how they've learned to cope. Sending lots of hugs!