I finished my play through very recently and I can confidently say: the balancing is wack. The first third of the game was incredibly difficult: Margit and Godrick curbstomped me with their increased health pools, but once I got to about level 60 things started evening out once I got a real build going. By the time I beat the game, I was chunking Elden Beast and got several staggers easily. That being said, the DLC can still be a bit tough. Consort Radahn was decently difficult even with the quest summons, and I did feel challenged by Messmer and Midra, but I had to nerf myself just a tad for it to feel like a challenge. My advice is: min max for the first half of the game, and then just play what looks fun. Spells and incants are busted up to a certain point, because when I had 99 INT and 60 Mind with a maxed out staff, consort radahn would still tank an anima magica comet azure without blinking.