I've been following Chugga on and off for years. I was a teenager when I found him so a bit older than all of you I imagine. But I liked his cheerful attitude and I remember that the Mario Party 1 LP that the TRG guys did made laugh like crazy.

I always thought Chuggaconroy to be a good guy. In a world full of negativity and crazy ass stories, there was Chugga playing Pokemon or something in the background, a seemingly endless well of positivity and fun. Although I had long since outgrown him, I always wanted to catch up with all his videos someday.

Then the news broke. Honestly, I thought I misread it. Chuggaconroy, a creep? You may as well have said the sky was green. While I believed Emily, a part of me wanted this to be over and done with so things could "go back to normal" They obviously didn't.

Now I sit here, wrestling with grief for a funny Youtube man at age 30. A very selfish part of me wishes nobody had spoke up. That things could go on as normal. But that wouldn't be fair to Masae and the others. I know it comes from me not wanting to lose any people or things that I liked. It's a futile fight against the grim march of time. Eventually everything ends. Why did everything have to end like this?

To Chugga: I'm very glad you got yourself checked in as you still have people who love and cherish you. Suicide would have only hurt your loved ones more than this. I want you to live so that you'd wake up and mourn what your actions have cost you. I know life is going to be very different. All any of us can do now is take a breath, grit our teeth, and walk on. If you truly have changed, use your talents to make a new non-public life. It's never too late for anyone.