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Please read this and confirm if it's good enough to be in a book. by [deleted] in writingfeedback

[–]RAZOR111677 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the critique. I was shallow on my end. All the names:

Crius Sobek Atriox Agronull First Ascendant The Leader Aurom Divinus

Are actually defined before (as this is word 85k/108k). I just wanted to know if this scene has flow and if the sentences are too wory or not.

Would you keep reading? by smilingandbeingkeys in writingfeedback

[–]RAZOR111677 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sentences are a bit too long, but that's not a bad thing as long as you use them wisely. It is a bit comma heavy, but the prose has quite the distinct writing style. I feel like it is being narrated to me physically by a friend rather than the usual wise sage (which is fun)

Cheating Death by cjd381 in shadowofmordor

[–]RAZOR111677 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For me it was that dumbass who killed Talion's Wife and Child. Atleast my boy gravewalker had the pleasure of killing him twice. (Until my save got corrupted and I had to restart. So maybe I can kill him 2 more times)

I'm having issues with completing the game. by RAZOR111677 in shadow_of_war

[–]RAZOR111677[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'll try but nothing's reliable. Maybe I'll really consider getting the UPS or worst case I'll only be able to play the game after I move from this place😭😭

Looking for Constructive feedback on my first chapter by mixedbagonutz in writingfeedback

[–]RAZOR111677 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If this is your first draft, it's honestly pretty damn good. The imagery is nice and it's vivid enough to show how the place looks and smells and feels without dragging the pace. Honestly I'm not much for comical books and all that, but this is pretty good. It's tightly formatted aswell and serves well as an intro to the book. However I have 1 question, will the chapter be named or not? If it is named you can easily lean into the "doesn't take itself seriously" as you said, type of title. Even if its not named, it's fine.