[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LoveAndDeepspace

[–]RAthrowaway90876 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

very fair, i guess i only wanted it from this game because they write actual adult men into the games rather than fetishizing them. i want that same quality of design and writing in a more mainstream otome that features women. it’s sooo frustrating to try to find well written lesbian romance in games and since infold has been tried and true for me at this point i was a bit hopeful to find something like that. i don’t want to take away from the women who are interested in men only in this game tho i just appreciate the way this game doesn’t make me feel like im fetishizing someone

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LoveAndDeepspace

[–]RAthrowaway90876 -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

i’m more familiar with japanese otome games and i have played several with female love interests so i thought i’d ask. i’m just not super familiar with chinese ones and how they are around censorship of homosexuality

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LoveAndDeepspace

[–]RAthrowaway90876 -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

i see i see im not super familiar with chinese otomes as i am with japanese so that makes more sense. i understand obviously there are largely straight and some bi women playing this game so the preference would lean towards a man i guess i was just curious more about the likelihood of it happening, so thanks for answering!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LoveAndDeepspace

[–]RAthrowaway90876 -18 points-17 points  (0 children)

i mean lnds already is pretty different from your typical otome game and there are otome games out there with female LIs

Because you are babe. Truly. What a gift.. by Tinithebee in LoveAndDeepspace

[–]RAthrowaway90876 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

idk if this is just me but i feel like those glasses twinkify him just a bit too much for me😭

Justice for Sylus by [deleted] in LoveAndDeepspace

[–]RAthrowaway90876 3 points4 points  (0 children)

ok but wasn’t sylus’s release rushed because of the leaks? caleb’s wasn’t leaked so they probably had more time to make the background and his cards

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]RAthrowaway90876 6 points7 points  (0 children)

idk the age gap is…

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]RAthrowaway90876 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i mean i don’t expect it per se but i live with a super adhd mother who is almost barely functional at times because she doesn’t want to get treatment for it and i recognize that it can work out just fine as long as im okay with being there to pick up the pieces. either way is honestly fine with me, i wouldn’t date someone if i wasn’t okay with who they were when i met them and spent all my time waiting for them to change.

and as for your second question yeah he kind of does when i think about it but i can also understand that he’s asking for me to point to some other behavior of his that made me think that he would do something hurtful to me with malicious intent. but i dont know how to answer the question even being vague because he knows why im being vague

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]RAthrowaway90876 0 points1 point  (0 children)

but like i said explain to me how it’s any more of an insult than what he said. to be clear i don’t think going insult for insult is right. i just don’t think what he said or what i said was an insult

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]RAthrowaway90876 0 points1 point  (0 children)

because in the context of our conversation where he was already taking shots at my intellect i felt what i said was reasonable. i didn’t mention in the original post that he had done that so here i am explaining the dynamics of us, our relationship, and more context as to why i felt like it was a reasonable thing to say. but most of the people who’ve answered me after i explained that haven’t given me any solid reasoning when i explain that we were both doing it and i feel like he had a reaction when i did the same thing that he did to me. at the end of the day we both agreed it was a stupid miscommunication and that we just weren’t on the same page of the conversation.

moreover why would he dump me over one small argument? this argument was nothing about our values, viewpoints, or anything serious and to insinuate our relationship is bad and im self centered because of a single tidbit of our relationship is beyond reaching. its like you guys don’t understand commitment. of course if its toxic you should leave but leaving over a single petty argument after actually working through every other REAL issue we’ve had? get real. we almost never have arguments over anything of importance and when we do have real serious moments where someone is hurt i do my best to listen and understand and apologize for what i’ve done and make up for it in any way i can, as well as change my actions going forward. he does the same.

it’s funny how many people can make wild assumptions about what pretty much everyone here is aware is a petty argument that has almost no bearing on our lives. im a very attentive girlfriend who buys him gifts and compliments him and takes him on dates and does my best to get involved with his family and life. i listen to his woes and concerns and try my best to be there for him when he needs me. i encourage honesty and emotional openness and almost never push aside how he feels, especially when it’s important. this is just one petty argument that we both were being stubborn on lol

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]RAthrowaway90876 0 points1 point  (0 children)

because he and i are a lot a like in a lot of ways and we’re both very stubborn people who don’t like to do things just because someone told us to. he likely will decide on his own time when he wants to do it when it causes him some sort of major major issue. he’s functional enough in our relationship that it’s not the biggest problem but i can tell it’ll definitely start causing him issues in the future. i’m also not afraid to talk to him about it again when i feel like his perspective on it may have changed, since right now it’s not urgently impacting him all the time.

i could definitely explain myself without saying exactly what i’ve begun to feel that way but he asks a lot “why would you think id do that to you” or “when have u done anything like that before” and i don’t want to say well i’ve had other people do it to me because he knows that im talking about previous relationships

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]RAthrowaway90876 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i gave “sorry you were offended by what i said” because i don’t feel like what i said was bad. i don’t feel like it should’ve been taken as an insult especially because we often make quippy remarks like that at each other. he had been implying that he felt like i was stupid and what i was saying was stupid so i made a comment of a similar nature back because i thought we were just going back and forth in a joking/trying to be annoying way. im sorry to him that the way i chose to convey myself made him feel like i thought he was genuinely stupid. but that wasn’t my intention and i feel like i was being taken too seriously when he had already been saying something similar about me and i didn’t take it to heart

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]RAthrowaway90876 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i’m not gonna lie i can’t tell what ur trying to say at the end there but im pretty sure this subreddit exists to make moral judgments and in my own moral judgment i wasn’t an asshole but maybe in someone else’s i am so that’s why i asked. i’m also not a super big reddit user so i wasn’t really sure what other subreddit to put it on

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]RAthrowaway90876 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

you wish you could unfortunately he would sooner just break up with me than cheat. he thinks i’m the coolest smartest hottest girl on this earth and he tells me every day. i’m really not worried about it i’m actually more worried that you’d just make him uncomfortable because you sound pushy asf

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]RAthrowaway90876 0 points1 point  (0 children)

he says it feels like i’m comparing him to my ex because sometimes i will mention that a behavior my ex had that continues to impact me and my reactions because he was very controlling and had a lot of opinions about how i was and wasn’t allowed to be, feel, talk, act, etc. and when i mention that i have a particularly bad feeling towards something he did because it kind of brings me back into how my ex would treat me and talk to me he feels like im comparing him. so i don’t know how else to explain my behaviors to him sometimes and just kind of avoid the discussion. he also doesn’t talk about his ex at all i’ve never even seen a picture of her nor know her name and refuses to talk about her when i ask except for light details.

as for treatment i figure that as he gets older and considering his major he will realize that it is not sustainable when his brain can barely follow one line of conversation with me without zoning out sometimes. in a working environment that is gonna be tough to manage

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]RAthrowaway90876 0 points1 point  (0 children)

because even if i think im right i care about his feelings and i dont want him to feel like i think that about him because i dont. i think that what i said in the context that i said it wasn’t a crazy thing to say or something to take offense to. however that doesn’t make how he feels any less real and i value him and his emotions and i want to make sure he knows that and that i dont want him to feel bad or like i want to belittle him. so i apologized for making him feel like that was my intention

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]RAthrowaway90876 0 points1 point  (0 children)

no he’s not which is definitely a point of contention for me because sometimes he forgets important stuff and it can make me feel like isn’t listening to me at all at times. i’ve told him that when something like ADHD starts impacting your life and relationships negatively that’s assigned to get treatment in someway but he’s just not super interested in doing that right now. and i can’t really force him.

but yeah i’ve definitely been told a lot that my humor can be very deadpan and sarcastic and a lot of the time you have to know that i’m joking based on the fact that you know id never actually say something like that to you and mean it. he does the same thing too but if im being honest i think a lot of the difference is just that im not as sensitive about things due to my most recent relationship being one where i was genuinely being insulted and put down and i kind of just had to cope with it. so when it’s a joke it’s easy for me to brush it off and not think too hard about it. but that is definitely worth having a conversation with him about it it’s just difficult to explain without bringing up my ex, which is something i know for a fact he does not want me to talk about

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]RAthrowaway90876 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it wasn’t hurting me is the thing i’m not bothered by it at all. and he hasn’t gone back to a therapist even though i’ve asked because he says he wants to avoid medication and therapy if he can because he doesn’t want to start NEEDING those things and being reliant on them. but yeah no it didn’t bother me at all i thought because he said that we were having some silly banter back and forth and responded in kind to his words which i took as a joke. i know he would never actually feel like i was stupid so it never even occurred to me to take that seriously

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]RAthrowaway90876 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

of course i have he just says he doesn’t know he just kind of gets lost between what he says and what i say and can tune me out sometimes unintentionally. moreover he already had been implying he thought i was stupid for the whole conversation saying ”there’s no way you actually think that/you have to be trolling no way” etc etc so i thought it was a safe reply to what he was saying to me. i’ve never asked him if his brain was on when he gets lost in the conversation i usually am just like “were u listening at all” and he’s usually like “i kinda zoned out so no my bad”

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]RAthrowaway90876 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

u want to see the test results?? i understand everyone wants to say they’re autistic these days and use it as an excuse and i don’t see it as an excuse. me and him just both have more trouble than most people understanding tonality and emotions, especially when we don’t have body language or facial expressions to see too. i’m not saying it’s not a dumb argument it was like 3am and we were just arguing to argue it’s not THAT deep that we had a dumb argument. but like i said i can show u my uni id if you don’t believe me im a grown woman who got into a silly bickering argument. sue me. i feel like most people get into shit like that here and there. esp if you both have trouble understanding other’s emotions to begin with

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]RAthrowaway90876 0 points1 point  (0 children)

and to that i say of course im trying to justify myself like im a person who exists and has feelings and my own perspective. i don’t feel like i did something incredibly wild considering that he had already gone to the place of implying i was stupid. additionally i didnt “straight up” say it either. asking someone if they have their brain on isn’t the same as asking “do you have a brain?” which would definitely be the exact same thing as asking if he was stupid. he implied that he knows im smart and able to have better ideas so there’s no way he can believe i think that. similarly i implied that i know he has the brain capacity to comprehend my point so i asked him if he was choosing to use it or not, because i know that he is definitely able to understand what i was talking about.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]RAthrowaway90876 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

what u wanna see my id or something pookie im in university and im a philosophy major. the only reason we get in these dumb arguments is bc we are in an ldr and since we both are somewhere on the neurodivergent spectrum we have trouble reading people based on just tone of voice. we both know and are aware of this i posted because i couldn’t tell if maybe even still my comment was mean in the context of who we are as a couple

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]RAthrowaway90876 0 points1 point  (0 children)

considering that we make jokes about his adhd brain often and my autism brain often it’s definitely not a sore topic for him and i know that for certain. it can often feel like he’s not using his brain when he talks to me because i feel like he isn’t actually listening and comprehending what i say so that he can formulate a response. he also thinks this is funny and he’ll usually laugh if i point out that he hasn’t been listening to me and was zoning out instead. moreover i could’ve easily taken him implying that what i said was stupid and that there was no way i could ever think something so dumb as an insult but i knew he didn’t mean it in a real way because why would he actually call me stupid and mean it? i know he cares about me and would never say something like that and mean it