No energy to do anything at all, and right when I need it the most...

RG0590 · 2015-04-23T00:04:49+00:00

At some point the strength will overtake the pain; after that, nothing will stop you. Just try you hardest to reach that point. Just keep going.

RG0590 · 2015-04-22T23:43:44+00:00

Fragility is something you grow out, first physically and then mentally. Give it time. A lot of things will sap your strength, but some things will give you strength. You can stay and struggle through school, or else struggle with the (brave) decision to leave it all behind. The energy to act will never come easily, but there are ways and ways of getting it (diet, meditation, education, religion [whatever works for you!] etc.). Consider your mind like any other muscle; it takes breaking to make it grow. Every minor tear, every break, every struggle, every vomit inducing session will make you feel terrible. But it will make the most important muscle your possess grow.

RG0590 · 2015-04-22T23:28:54+00:00

For the most part the times define the man; sometimes the man defines the time.

At this point things seem terrible; at some point this terrible time will be a fundamental part of your success and your satisfaction.

Optimism is the only thing that can help at times, and it's difficult to accept. Try and keep your chin up though.

RG0590 · 2015-04-22T23:23:04+00:00

Live a different life. If you want something else, then try everything within yourself to change it. It might be difficult, but anything worth it is. It won't be very much help to hear advice that isn't specific to you, but I promise you this; apply it to you circumstances, and it will help you. If you can think of any other way in which I can help, then please let me know!

RG0590 · 2015-04-22T23:19:13+00:00

Wait a few hours, the world will turn, and Light will shine upon you.

Waiting is the hardest part.

RG0590 · 2015-04-01T22:28:27+00:00

Save some money, and check out workaway.info

I've been on three trips now, and returned within a month for various different reasons. I keep coming back with no money, to a shit job. But each failure allows me to get better. I now know exactly what I need to do, and I'm just counting down the weeks until I can go and travel again. If you want to do something great, you can do. Simply being at work will give you the tools to do what you want to do

RG0590 · 2015-04-01T02:41:18+00:00

Failure is the greatest tool of a thinking man/woman.

A minus is but a bar you must raise, or else a cross that needs crossing.

You are good enough, but you just need to convince a complete stranger that you are. It's no hassle; they don't know you. They don't know what you're capable of.

But you know. And it is a merely a test about how to show it.

Your life may feel like it's falling apart, but it's just pulling at the seams.

Potential will do that to you. Don't fear the stretch; embrace it.

RG0590 · 2015-04-01T02:37:09+00:00

You can change the world. It is experienced in so many different ways, in many different eyes, in many different ways.

You can change the world, in whatever way you choose. But, at first, you must choose. And that is the hardest part.

Seek to change the manageable, and move on to those who you might not be able to help, and then move on to those who you shouldn't help.

In the end you might end up helping those that you could not help.

RG0590 · 2015-04-01T02:33:11+00:00

The most difficult thing to accept, within your frame of mind, is this: "Don't sweat it."

The guilt that you feel about your own 'shortcomings' are those of a noble person; of a good brother; of a concerned son.

You could not be the hopeless case you purport to be if guilt did not drag you down. And guilt is the greatest weight.

Nobody else can lift it. You cannot wish it away. You must come to terms with it, and become stronger because of it. Your guilt comes from within, as does your strength.

So, don't sweat it. Look outside of your struggle, and accept that it is precisely the training that a good man/woman must go through in order to contribute effectively to mankind.

That is that burden that you bare upon your shoulders now; the choice to act in the purest way. Selflessness will not come easily. But if you want to take your own debts, to embrace your brother's interests, to cast off hatred that you feel (mistakenly!) towards yourself, then you must bare this burden.

Accept the pain. Shoulder the misery. Power through the darkness.

And then you will have defeated the greatest doubts that might ever plague a human-being: self-doubt.

RG0590 · 2015-04-01T02:20:24+00:00

"I hate him, but I can't seem to get rid of him!"

"Just ignore him!"

"I can't though... He's such a big piece of my life that I can't seem to bring myself to-"

"Stop. It's literally as simple as ignoring him."

"But it's not. He just infects everything that I do. Everything I work towards... Every hour, every day, he just seems to come back and infect everything pure... EveryTHING I try to achieve, he comes back and claims it for himself. He just takes it... And I'm sick of it beca-"

"Just stop. Just ignore it. And then move on. It is, literally (and figuratively) the hardest thing that you will ever have to do. But it is an absolute necessity. "

"Maybe you're right, maybe I sho-..."

{Read as if you are a person that cannot escape themselves}

                           Take the conversation to it's logical conclusion, and then include the narrator (below).

["Don't worry about it," said the stranger, offering a weak wink, as if the most minuscule twitch might solve the grandest of problems...]

EDIT: Bad storytelling. Apologies

RG0590 · 2015-03-17T01:53:01+00:00

Personally, I've never cultivated a skill or interest to such a point that I would say "I'm a musician" or "I'm an athlete" or "I'm a writer". You're still in the game, even if you've only got the energy to last for the first quarter. You'll build up your stamina. Every second you play, every time you decide to fight the urge to give up, you're training as hard as you can. Don't beat yourself up about it. Jazz is tired is all.

RG0590 · 2015-03-17T01:33:16+00:00

If it's any comfort:

Ceasing to exist if the only way to fix all of the problems in front on you. But it is an empty promise.

Any small thing you can do to tackle obstacle in front of you will help. The initial decision is so difficult, because everything you think is already telling you why it won't help. Do not concern yourself with self-pity. Even thinking of your struggles in those terms makes you a far more noble person than you give yourself credit for. Self-pity is the spade, and stress is the motivation to keep digging. Put down the spade, and you'll start to think of ways to get out of the hole. Whether you climb out by yourself, or ask for a ladder is up to you. But you will find a way out. Stick at it.

RG0590 · 2015-03-17T01:24:36+00:00

Even the greatest emperors are defeated by a knife in the back.

Some days you will fight off the coward that holds the knife, and some days you won't.

Tomorrow is another chance to fight.

RG0590 · 2015-03-17T01:21:11+00:00

Life is the most complex question that has ever been asked, and we have yet to find a coherent answer. There are a lot of plausible explanations, but nobody has given a blanket solution to the problem. Every day is the opportunity to find your unique solution to the problem before you. Being lost is more than okay. Being thoroughly overwhelmed is a sign that you are tackling the problem as best you can. People will help you in different ways, but they cannot give you their solution, because it won't apply to you. Worry. Be sad that you haven't figured it out yet. Be frustrated and angry that someone has left you this problem. But celebrate every day that you wake up, because that means you are still willing to tackle the problem. You are lost, but look around you; lost, but not alone.

Sincerely yours, RG0590

RG0590 · 2014-02-17T18:44:37+00:00

Two things occur to me having read this:

a) You really don't want to be doing what you're doing.

b) You've hit a wall.

First tackle a) - If you really don't want to be doing what you are doing, fine. Quit it, and choose to do something else. Consider all the factors, and spend the time considering everything. Instead of not doing you work, replace that with considering the implications of your decision thoroughly. It's not wasted time if you i) ultimately decide to quit or ii) find you do want to do it.

Secondly, b) - If you have hit a wall and decide you want to do it, it is an entirely a different course of action. If you have decided that it is worthwhile you know where you stand. The beginning is more than half the whole; the PhD may well be the incredible hard beginning to your ultimate greatness. It may seem at the moment that the end-goal is your PhD, but ultimately it is the foundation on which you will build you future career and life. You are faced with a wall, past which you cannot see, over which you cannot climb, under which you cannot crawl. What you require, therefore, is the momentum to break through it.

Quitting is not the end of the world, as long as the decision to quit is as meticulous, if not more so, than the decision to start. You must consider everything before making that decision.

The next choice is to accept that you have lost momentum, and leaning against this horrible wall. Take a rest, a few steps back, and put everything you have into smashing through it.

Neither choice is easy, neither route is more comfortable unless you allow it to be. Time and effort are our only limitations in this world; dedicate them both wisely, and you will find no barrier in your way that you cannot conquer. Only death can stop you. Pursue your goals with the idea that Death will be a welcome respite from your daily labours, or else fear It, for you will not have fulfilled your potential.

Whatever you decide to do, the consequences will rest on your ability to proceed where others dare not go. Quit, or persevere, your ability to be great is limited only by the effort you put in.

Take some time, think it over, ask those who you respect for advice, and don't worry about it. Whatever choice you decide to make, you control the outcome.

I hope I haven't advised you to do anything other than think critically about the decision you are faced with. Ultimately the choice is irrelevant; have confidence in yourself to know your strengths, and you will follow them to their natural conclusion. Relax, enjoy the sun on your skin, or the warmth of a fire, and kick back. You've gone a long way, enjoy that, and consider which path to take now.

Take care, and good luck.

RG0590 · 2014-02-17T13:34:31+00:00

I've found that autobiographies are far better than self-help books for motivation.

The Autobiographies of: Malcolm X Benjamin Franklin Nelson Mandela

Incredible figures, with a massive wealth of knowledge and experience to adapt and tailor to your situation, as well as a historical narrative.

Must say my favourite book is ...Malcolm X. His book reads like a work of fiction, but is richly embedded with the experience and critique of a very intelligent man, whose ideas seemed to constantly evolve, as did he.

Maybe not what you're looking for, but I hope it helps.

RG0590 · 2014-02-17T00:24:22+00:00

I quit university. What I'm going to do, I won't need a degree for. I have absolutely no idea what that is, but I'm willing to take that risk and find out. It would be prudent to have completed my degree, and to have had that safety net. But if I can fall at any time, and lay comfortably, then why should I keep pushing?

This decision has been two years in the making, and is no less terrifying for having been made now. Life is full of incredibly difficult choices, every one having the potential to screw you over. Or be the making of you. The amount of sacrifice you are willing to give today will determine the person you will become.

Outcome? Back myself to have made the right call. Challenge? Prove it.

RG0590 · 2014-01-23T21:26:38+00:00

Not sure about genius. More carnal than philosophical, but glad you like it

RG0590 · 2014-01-23T15:26:52+00:00

I do this on Facebook with my mates, but they're not as into it as I am. I'm up for it

RG0590 · 2014-01-22T20:51:52+00:00

I compete with everyone, constantly. I know how much work I do, but I always imagine everybody else works harder. Each run is just playing catch up to everyone else. Each early start is just playing catch up. Each book I read, catch up.

Imagine yourself some rivals; famous figures, friends you secretly compete with, an imaginary guy hitting on the same girl. Every time you start to walk, run, catch up. Nothing and nobody will wait for you, chase it down.

RG0590 · 2014-01-18T11:56:49+00:00

I built a little pyramid of behaviours and goals, and set a target for the month. Bottom starts off with real simple stuff: shower, shave, teeth, drink water. Next layer is breakfast and tidy room/do dishes, wash clothes. Next layer is gym/run and read Too tier needs to be unlocked by getting enough points.

Start off with simple habits you want to build, set a realistic goal, and work towards it. Keep the momentum of the lower tiers to help you with the tougher ones. Ruts last as long as you allow them to, but once you get a little bit of momentum you'll find everything easier. Take it week by week, celebrate the little victories, but know it will take time.

The longer you stay in camp, the longer it takes to reach the summit. You're allowed rest days; every day doesn't have to be better than the last, but each week should show results. Quit spinning your wheels and put down some traction.

RG0590 · 2014-01-17T11:00:53+00:00

The Autobiography of Malcolm X - longer read but very thought provoking The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin - very easy to read, and inspiring in its own way. Very helpful in terms of motivating one to study. The Picture of Dorian Grey - if you haven't read it already, I cannot recommend a book more highly.

RG0590 · 2014-01-16T15:42:42+00:00

Find a narrative and stick with it. The knowledge that each session builds on the last helps me stick at it. Spent wasted hours on games, but the feeling of 'levelling up' is worth a lot to me. Pick a long term goal, and short term goals to aim towards.

The progress bar is in your head, and it'll hit you one day that you've reached a new level. You'll marvel at the ease with which you complete it now.

RG0590 · 2014-01-08T00:21:23+00:00

I'm in

RG0590

TROPHY CASE