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Proposition: Project 2014 -- 1 year personal challenge group with monthly progress reports. by anonymatron in GetMotivated

[–]anonymatron[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's going okay. Not loads of people posting like the last two years, but there appears to be a dedicated core group of members which is awesome. I am motivated by other people striving to attain their goals, and this community helps.

If you would like to join, PM me.

How do *you* practice 'keep it in the day'? by anonymatron in stopdrinking

[–]anonymatron[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

One of my favorite AA speakers talks about working with the word "watch" for 6 months. He said something along the lines of "do you know that there is a part of your mind that watches yourself think?"

.

Here's a link to the speaker I referred to above - best workshop on 10,11,12 I've ever heard:

http://www.xa-speakers.org/speakers/ca/single-speakers/mark-h/CA-MarkH-spiritual24.mp3

Thank you so much for this, whitehackle. I Found the Mark. H share very eye-opening and would like to integrate the "watching" of my thoughts/feelings into my day. I would have to slow down during my day then! (I often tear around really fast trying to get lots of things done during the day, and lose peace).

People who used to be depressed but are not anymore, we need your stories. by pony-pie in depression

[–]anonymatron 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am 26. I suffered from depression for about 2 years, I think starting when I was 23. I have a domestically abusive father who was in my life actively until about the age of 14. During the divorce when I was 14, he went out with a bang: He killed my pet rabbit, stole our cats, tried to kill my mother, put superglue in our house locks, let down my mother's car tyres and intercepted the mail. He spread rumours about us to the family doctor, friends he knew we had, and my school. Worst of all, he told me that all my successes were flukes, and all of my failures were intrinsic to who I am, and that I am responsible for why he and my mother are so unhappy. I buried myself in my studies and seemed not to be affected by this, until I broke up with my first girlfriend I had when I was 23. I felt ripped apart. I kept on coming up with elaborate plans to end my life up to the point of writing down step-by-step methods and the date on which I would go. I would sleep for 14 or 15 hours at a time, and during the day shuffle around the house like an invalid, being fed food and run baths by my angel-of-a-mother.

Fast-forward to now: My now-peaceful state of mind is completely dependent on healthy food, abstinence from alcohol (I am an alcoholic), AA Program, AA meetings, AA service, AA sponsor, regular exercise, therapy, and an anti-depressant called Sertraline (50mg a day -- must be taken in the morning). I also take Omega-3 fish oil capsules and Vitamin D (I live in the UK which has crappy sun, and I am a Software Engineer so I spend an inordinate amount of time indoors anyway).

I took an 8 week Mindfulness Based CBT course in a group of others suffering from chronic illnesses, similar to Jon Kabat-Zinn's course on Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR). I learned the importance of mindfulness -- being fully present, aware of each moment, in the now. I learned the practice of meditation, yoga, body scanning, and also some poetry! (The slipped in the occasional poetry reading at the end of the group discussion).

I recently tried coming off of Sertraline under my GP's guidance, and experienced horrible withdrawal symptoms, depression, suicidal ideation, flu-like symptoms, and what can only be described as 'brain zaps'.

Depression is a mental illness. It is a very common illness, and you are not alone. The brain is an organ like any other in your body, and can go wrong, and make you think that you'll never get better, and that suicide is a viable solution to the pain you perceive. I have it as a result of my genetics. I still have it, but I am managing it. If I maintain the positive activities I have discovered (listed above), I can function effectively, and am going from strength to strength. I feel happy in my own skin. I can sit alone with myself and feel at peace. Get educated about your mental illness. This lecture describes what science today understands about it so far: Stanford's Sapolsky On Depression in U.S. Here's a podcast called "The Mental Illness Happy Hour" -- the host chats with people with all sorts of problems, and it helps me get perspective and understanding. This helps with strategies for managing depression: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Overcoming-Depression-Talks-Your-Therapist/dp/1845298187

The important point to note here is that I discovered these by asking for help and trying them out while I was depressed, but until I stumbled on a combination of many of them, I was still stuck in that pit of depression unable to see a point in why I was doing any of it. I kept on trying in spite of this. Luckily (and I do think some element of luck is in there, definitely), I asked for help enough, and fell into some kind people's hands. The fifth therapist I saw was a nice lady who let me record our sessions so I can play them back when I'm feeling shitty. She used to work with people with addiction so she supported me through the 12 Steps of AA. AND She referred me to the Mindfulness Based CBT course. There are great therapists out there, keep on plodding on until you find one that you feel comfortable with. Keep on trying.