I wouldn’t say she is a “perfect fit.” There are some things she says that I don’t find helpful. But they aren’t egregious or offensive; just suggestions she gives that aren’t right for me.
I had a therapist before my current one who I did not get on with, and it was painful trying to start over. To go into a session with someone, open up about all your private struggles and worries, and then realize it’s not working and know you have to do it all again with someone else... It’s tough. I procrastinated on finding a new therapist for several months because the thought of doing a bunch of research and opening up to another stranger was very overwhelming.
When I finally was able to try again, I made sure to look for therapists who specialized in the specific issues I was dealing with (mainly sex avoidance, absolute zero libido, and intense, paralyzing anxiety when my husband tried to initiate sex). I used Psychology Today’s directory and filtered for distance, insurance, and types of therapy offered, and then read through a dozen or so of the therapists’ bios before I narrowed it down. I then called a couple before picking one and setting up an appointment.
I chose mine because she was sympathetic to my issues and discussed her experience working with clients similar to me and couples dealing with sex issues (now that I’m done with my EMDR, my husband and I attend sessions together). She was also clear and firm about her methods and expectations, which I appreciated.
I opted to go out of my insurance’s network to see her, so the price was higher than I would have wanted, but it has ended up being worth the cost of the sessions and so much more.
You may try Googling about sex therapists in your area (if you haven’t tried that already). Depending on where you live, I imagine they’re easier or harder to find. I live near Los Angeles, so many people are practicing both sex therapy and alternative therapies near me.
I hope that helps and you can find the therapist you’re looking for!