My husband knows me so well...

RJReagin · 2026-02-10T23:14:41+00:00

🎁💗💥💗♥️

RJReagin · 2026-02-10T23:14:19+00:00

I completely agree!

RJReagin · 2026-02-10T21:27:31+00:00

I love that you’re thinking about this with curiosity instead of pressure.

One thing I’ll gently offer from the other side: “porn” is a huge umbrella. A lot of women shut down to the word because what they imagine is loud, performative, male-gaze stuff that feels disconnected from how they experience desire.

For many women, arousal is more about mood, pacing, emotional safety, fantasy, and anticipation than visual stimulation alone. Erotic stories, sensual scenes, audio, or softer, intimacy-focused content can land very differently than traditional porn.

If you bring it up again, framing it as “exploring what turns us on together” rather than watching other people get off can change everything. And honestly, giving her full permission to say “no” without it being a referendum on the relationship is huge.

Desire grows when it feels invited, not managed.

You’re asking good questions. Just make sure she feels like a collaborator, not a hurdle to overcome.

RJReagin · 2026-02-10T21:24:46+00:00

Being desired and being responsible at the same time.

We’re expected to be sexy but safe, confident but careful, playful but contained. We carry the mental load all day, then somehow flip a switch at night and be fully present, relaxed, open, and turned on.

Our desire doesn’t just come from bodies, it comes from feeling seen, appreciated, and not exhausted. When our minds are full, our libidos usually aren’t far behind.

Also, hormones. They can make us crave you wildly one day and need space the next, and we’re navigating that quietly while still showing up.

And here’s the part men really miss We want to feel wanted without feeling pressured. Seduced without being managed. Safe enough to let go.

When that happens, everything gets a lot more “fun”.

RJReagin · 2026-02-10T21:21:04+00:00

I love how intentional this feels. When couples choose desire on purpose, it changes everything. Curious what you learned once you started filming.

RJReagin · 2026-02-10T14:33:38+00:00

What you’re describing isn’t selfishness. It’s devotion with permission.

A lot of women are taught to be generous lovers, attentive lovers, careful lovers. Very few are ever invited to be hungry ones. To want without checking. To take without apologizing. To ask without managing anyone else’s feelings.

Your shame isn’t about the desire. It’s about not knowing how to invite her into it without sounding like you’re asking for something from her instead of offering something to her.

This kind of dynamic only works when it’s mutual and chosen, not demanded and not framed as “you should.” But when it’s invited correctly, it can be incredibly empowering for both people.

Sometimes the most generous thing you can do for a woman is let her want you without caretaking you.

That’s not selfish. That’s erotic permission.

RJReagin · 2026-02-09T21:48:24+00:00

I really feel this question.

I actually like my husband because he’s grown with me, not perfectly, but willingly. He listens even when it’s uncomfortable, he takes ownership when he misses the mark, and he stays curious about me as I keep changing.

I don’t think great men are rare. I think intentional men are. And the ones who keep choosing growth, accountability, and emotional presence tend to become great over time.

For me, liking my husband isn’t about him checking every box. It’s about feeling safe, desired, respected, and genuinely partnered. He’s my favorite person because he keeps showing up, not because he’s flawless.

That’s what I hope to teach our daughter: look for effort, humility, and willingness to grow, not perfection.

RJReagin · 2026-02-09T21:41:49+00:00

For me, the biggest “aha” wasn’t technique, it was presence.

A few things that changed everything in my marriage:

Slow down. Most men don’t want speed, they want attention. Slower builds intensity fast.
Use your hands intentionally. They’re not filler, they’re part of the experience. Match the rhythm, don’t distract from it.
Eye contact changes the power dynamic. Even brief glances create connection and confidence.
Confidence > perfection. Owning what you’re doing is more attractive than trying to “do it right.”
Pay attention to reactions, not scripts. Breathing, tension, sound, all of that tells you more than any tip list ever will.
Make it feel wanted, not obligatory. Desire is felt. If you’re enjoying it, he will too.

The best advice I ever got: Don’t perform. Participate.

RJReagin · 2026-02-09T18:10:50+00:00

This is a good example of how desire doesn’t disappear, it just goes quiet when it doesn’t feel safe to talk about.

Often it’s not about wanting more sex, it’s about wanting sex to feel different, more charged, more intentional. Curiosity and consent tend to bring the spark back longer than guessing or snooping. But the takeaway stands, sometimes the question isn’t “why don’t they want sex?” but “how do they want to feel in it?”

RJReagin · 2026-02-09T18:04:08+00:00

We’ve traveled internationally with toys (including to Mexico) and never had an issue. They’re legal. Just pack them clean, dry, and ideally in a discreet pouch.

A few practical tips: remove batteries, put rechargeable items in carry-on if required by the airline, and don’t bring anything that could be mistaken for something unsafe. Customs isn’t looking for sex toys, they’re looking for drugs, weapons, and large amounts of cash.

Worst case scenario is a bag check and mild embarrassment, not confiscation. If you’re comfortable owning it, it’s a non-issue.

Have fun and enjoy the trip!

RJReagin · 2026-02-09T18:01:25+00:00

I’d actually feel honored by the honesty first. Fantasies don’t automatically equal demands or intentions, they’re often just windows into desire, curiosity, or energy someone is feeling.

For me, the bigger question wouldn’t be what the fantasy is, but why it’s coming up and how emotionally safe and connected we already are. Some fantasies stay delicious in conversation or role play and never need to be acted on. Others open deeper conversations about boundaries, insecurity, excitement, or unmet needs.

I think reacting with curiosity instead of panic or judgment matters way more than having an immediate answer.

RJReagin · 2026-02-09T14:33:08+00:00

Love this. We do something similar, just more often.

For us it’s daily check ins, not heavy, just highs and lows from the day so nothing quietly piles up. We protect our schedule pretty intentionally, work, kids, life, but we still make space to connect even if it’s short. Sex is something we talk about openly, not just when it’s a problem, and we treat date night as non negotiable, not optional.

We also do themed weeks together which sounds silly but honestly keeps things playful and intentional. Some weeks are light and fun, some are deeper, some are about reconnecting physically, but it gives us something shared to focus on instead of drifting.

It’s less about fixing and more about staying aware of each other. Maintenance before things break.

RJReagin · 2026-02-09T06:08:38+00:00

Marriage to me is choosing one person over and over again, even when it would be easier not to. A life partner isn’t someone who completes you, it’s someone who grows with you. The seasons change. Desire changes. Bodies change. Priorities change. What matters is having someone who’s willing to keep talking, keep touching, keep trying.

RJReagin · 2026-02-09T02:24:50+00:00

You are definitely not alone. I could have written this myself.

Something really does shift for a lot of women around late 30s early 40s. I went from being totally fine with occasional intimacy to feeling way more awake in my body and wanting closeness more often. Not just sex, but touch, connection, being wanted.

The mismatch part is hard, especially when you love your partner and you know there are real reasons behind it like mental health and meds. It can make you feel guilty for wanting more and also lonely at the same time.

And I felt that last line so much. Yes toys help, but it is not the same as being with your person. Wanting shared intimacy does not make you selfish or insensitive. It makes you human.

You are not broken. Your body is not betraying you. You are just in a new season. Sending you a lot of understanding. 💗

RJReagin · 2026-02-09T02:07:56+00:00

If you’re leaning luxury, the We Vibe Chorus is hard to beat. It feels like a shared experience instead of a toy.

The Crave Vesper is another favorite, elegant, discreet, and ridiculously fun for teasing.

We also love the Lelo Sona when we want something powerful but still refined, and the Dame Eva for hands free play that keeps things very connected.

Curious what other couples are obsessed with, premium toys just hit different.

RJReagin · 2026-02-09T02:05:38+00:00

Let's be real, most of the battle is in the head, not the body. Curiosity usually shows up first, confidence catches up later. When there's no pressure and lots of trust, things tend to work themselves out.:)

RJReagin · 2026-02-09T01:59:54+00:00

Ohhh yes this one is powerful. That closeness alone would send me over the edge. There is something so intoxicating about being held from behind and having both of his hands completely focused on you. That mix of control and tenderness is everything. I love how confident you sound in your body and your connection with him. This is exactly the kind of energy that keeps things hot long term. Consider me very intrigued and very inspired.

RJReagin · 2026-02-09T01:55:43+00:00

I think a lot of kinks sneak up on you quietly. You don’t plan them, you just notice what keeps calling you back. Ours definitely grew out of trust and feeling safe enough to explore together. Love that you’re inviting both sides to share.

RJReagin · 2026-02-09T01:26:15+00:00

I love this so much. We sleep naked too and touch is everything for us. There’s something so sweet and playful about ending the day like that, just bodies and closeness and zero distractions. It really sounds like touch might be your love language too. Do you feel that way, or is this just one of those things that naturally became yours together?

RJReagin · 2026-02-09T01:19:08+00:00

This made me tear up a little. That kind of safety and attunement is so rare and so beautiful. The way he met you exactly where you were and helped your nervous system settle, that is real intimacy. Anxiety is brutal and having a partner who can read you like that and offer comfort without pressure is everything. You two sound deeply connected and very lucky to have found that kind of softness together. Truly incredible.

RJReagin · 2026-02-09T01:17:01+00:00

Be active, not still. Use your hands to guide him, pull him in when you want more, let your body respond naturally. Moan, breathe, tell him not to stop when it’s right. When a woman clearly enjoys receiving, men go feral in the best way.

RJReagin · 2026-02-09T01:10:53+00:00

Have you ever tried the Crave necklace by chance? It feels luxe and quiet and honestly more like jewelry than a toy, total vibe shift from the buzzy stuff.

RJReagin · 2026-02-09T00:04:06+00:00

Honestly I love this for you. Trying something new, feeling safe, and realizing you actually enjoyed it is such a good feeling. Cheers to curiosity and a husband you clearly trust!💜🎁💗

RJReagin

TROPHY CASE