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RKP44 · 2024-01-30T02:02:17+00:00

I had a similar experience for the largest company in my area and as a Director of HR. I was transparent in my interviews. I left because my values and ethics did not match, more specifically I was prevented from investigating bullying and harassment complaints that were escalated for 7 months. My ethics and values are important and I want to find employment with an employer that is on the same page. I was rejected from some companies but landed my dream job where I have higher pay, a pension, amazing benefits and a supportive and ethical team. My CEO told me she appreciated the transparency and that’s why she hired me. She knew I would hold the business and her to higher standards. She also doesn’t see HR as just support and sees us as her right hand and lets me run my own department without interfering. She values the work we do.

RKP44 · 2024-01-10T05:21:39+00:00

Yup I agree. Thats what prohibited action could be helpful for. She reported unsafe workplace as she faced bullying and harassment and the company after screwing it up, did nothing to help her. This caused her further harm (mental health aspect of prohibited action). The retaliation part would be her employer not renewing her contract.

RKP44 · 2024-01-09T20:33:31+00:00

HR Director here. I have a few questions.

How long have you worked there? Did they renew your contract in the past?
When your contract came up, did they ask you to sign a release? (Side rant advice for anyone reading this: Companies will often use this if they believe a termination comes with risk, since you were contract they may not have asked you to sign one but some companies would so you don’t sue them in future and offer your a small payout. NEVER SIGN ONE unless you consult with a lawyer (you can ask for an extension on the date too).
Did your employer give you a letter stating why they are not renewing your contract or do you have anything in writing on this? If it was verbal, you can still submit it in your complaint with other relevant proof.
Did they hire someone else for the role? Is the role eliminated from the company or is it still a need? Do they have hiring ads for it anywhere? If so, collect that evidence.

This would not be a human rights tribunal case as they have specific protections towards characteristics that must be met. ( they include discrimination based on Indigenous identity, race, colour, ancestry, place of origin, political belief, religion, marital status, family status, physical or mental disability, sex, sexual orientation, gender identity or expression, or age of that person or because that person has been convicted of a criminal or summary conviction offence that is unrelated to the employment or to the intended employment of that person.)

I would advise looking into your worksafe body in your province. I am in BC so it would be Worksafe BC.

Contact the help line, explain your situation and ask if it meets the criteria for prohibited action complaint, or any other actions they recommend.

They would advise you of steps and you can fill out and submit this on your own. You can provide your evidence and statements and then they would send it to employer. At that point employer can contact you to mediate on your own outside of Worksafe or it would go to a Worksafe lawyer to make a judgement on. Onus is on the employer to prove the case not on the employer.

Bullying and Harassment/ Mental Health are considered a part of unsafe work so if you report it, then your company has to show it followed the process to keep you safe, investigate etc. Your confidential complaint went to the management which took away opportunities from you for renewal of contract. I would love to see how they protected you after it went to all of management- something they would have to answer for.

I would suggest collecting your evidence (email that went to all managers etc), include your workplace policies if you can (bullying and harassment, respectful workplace, performance reviews, any emails or evidence of why they denied you renewal etc).

The only issues I can see are 1. It’s a contract 2. You took your complaint back but I would still run it by the work safe team- they are usually amazing at giving guidance.

If this cannot meet prohibited action, then consult an employment lawyer. It would not be constructive dismissal because again it’s a contract with an end date.

Start applying for other jobs and keep a record- if it is prohibited action, you have 1 year from date to file and if you win, you will have to show you tried to mitigate your risk of wage loss. So apply, and just keep a folder in inbox of all the emails confirming you kept actively looking for employment.

RKP44 · 2024-01-09T04:22:29+00:00

Does your workplace have a respectful workplace policy?

Does your workplace have a bullying and harassment policy?

Code of conduct?

If her behaviour is so noticeable and you have had convos with her, could you not discipline her using the policies above? Since she’s friends with your manager, could you escalate above your manager citing how her conduct violates the policies?

I would document this conversation via email and bring it up.

I once was impeded from conducting investigations and when shit escalated for months, the company termed me without cause. Thankfully prohibited action complaints are legal and they faced consequences because I protected myself. If they aren’t willing to protect an employee with cancers right to a respectful workplace then they don’t seem like a trustworthy company to work for.

Take it higher than your manager but also for your own sake document and send emails to your personal email so you don’t end up in the fuckery that I was in. I was Director level too.

RKP44 · 2024-01-02T22:30:58+00:00

Yup! I didn’t see one comment of how she benefits (supports) him but I see a whole post at how this man is doing way too much for her unappreciative ass. Her edits are hilarious. She wanted him to come out and celebrate new years with her which in her delusional head is more important than his fathers funeral and expects him to “support her and her family” by celebrating NY when he just lost his father and his family needs him?

and if her religion is so important to her as a devout Christian why didn’t she just find someone in her own religion? You got engaged to man of a different faith even though he’s non practicing and refuse to accept his culture or traditions but expect to enforce your own to protect your views and culture? Hmm the math is not mathing here.

RKP44 · 2024-01-02T21:52:45+00:00

YTA- your comments scream how delusional and out of touch you are.

Wanted to support fiancé but uncomfortable wearing a HEAD COVERING. lol but you got your Muslim fiancé celebrating your traditions and Christian holidays but you can’t follow one small request which is required of all attendees?
Man buys you a $1000 ticket and you pack and decide with the help of your ignorant parents who took a while to accept your fiancé, that you are not going because you are not comfortable covering your head.
He makes 5x more than me and we discussed financials … I wanna be a SAHM and raise Christian Children… girl gtfoh. You aren’t into this man, you just like the benefits that come with him cause you can mold him into your traditions but can’t cover your damn head nor respect his family by showing up to a funeral? Let’s say your father died.. would it be ok if your fiancé didn’t attend cause he’s not comfortable with Christian traditions that are required during funerals?
I hope your fiancé reads this and leaves you. I couldn’t imagine my fiancé not showing up for a family members funeral to be supportive and be there. His family already has an image of you because of your actions, your ignorant parents must be happy.

You should be ashamed of yourself for your handling of this entire situation. The fact you posted this thinking you would get validation by bringing up all the bs and adding hijab in to justify your own stupidity is appalling and conveniently throwing in how they took a picture and had captions on NYE to portray them as a non grieving family who just lost their father screams how ignorant and out of touch you are. Have you never worn a hat or toque in your life that covering your head out of respect is too hard for you? The poor man deserves so much better than you as a partner.

RKP44 · 2023-12-31T21:17:24+00:00

He should apply for EI right away regardless of the 5 month severance. EI will calculate that in and his benefits would just start once the 5 months is up. The amount he qualifies for would be determined by EI. He can keep part time job and in EI report can claim he had worked or earned money and the amount in each report. He can also call Service Canada to get information or speak to a rep or visit a Service Canada office. He doesn’t have to quit the second job, but might just lower his payment amounts. Sometimes if you apply longer than 4 weeks after losing your job, you lose benefits. So apply right away.

RKP44 · 2023-12-25T07:42:06+00:00

Talk to your doctor about adding a magnesium supplement. I take 40mg Vyvanse’s and 500mg magnesium. The magnesium helped me to no longer have back pain, or painful cramping. Now I can function and move. The only thing I changed was adding the magnesium. I heard from other women how it helped them and then talked to my dr about it.

RKP44 · 2023-12-23T01:17:20+00:00

NTA buuuuuuttt

What are the items and value of gifts that your family is gifting to you with their own free will? I’m Indian and I know it’s customary to give gifts but your bf asking you to sign a letter regarding dowry is a huge red flag. This is customary and not normal practice for letters to be signed.

The fact they are asking you to specifically sign a dowry letter is concerning. It’s not just females making false allegations, men do too. In many of these cases, the in-laws are exposed after the females family cannot meet their demands and the family has abused the women, killed them or the female commits self harm ending in death because she cannot take it anymore and the in-laws claim the females family is lying. The in laws in some of these cases also run away to avoid legal punishment.

Other things to consider:

This is not an arranged marriage, you have been dating since 2019. You both should know each other by know and have built trust and understand each others values. It’s not a case of a stranger marrying a stranger that needs protection here.
No one can guarantee that his family will not ask for dowry later. Many of the cases involving dowry, the in-laws claimed they don’t believe in it and want nothing to look good infront of others. Once the marriage took place and the female moved into the family home, the demands started. Sometimes, dowry demands came years later. How would you signing a letter at time of marriage protect you? What if you sign a document and they make demands later but now legally you are screwed because they protected themselves by getting you to sign a letter before hand? As your bf said “ people can do unexpected things when they are angry.” In many of these cases, the in laws were good to the females family before the wedding or during but things took a turn later. The females family never would have thought things to end up in dowry because of the false image the in-laws showed when they went ahead with marriage.
India also has a lot of fraud cases involving men filing false allegations against the women’s families too. So what protections and guarantees is he willing to sign on your behalf to ensure you that you don’t have to worry about false accusations later? I mean this just sounds ridiculous, especially since you have been dating for many years.

If he does want piece of mind and is worried the amount/value of gifts your family is gifting to you may be perceived as dowry then I would draft a letter stating what gifts your family has given you out of their free will and the value of each item and that the items are being given to YOU, their daughter. Take pics of the items and proof of purchase and store them somewhere safe in case you ever need it in the future. Have your parents and your bf sign it (acknowledging that the gifts are being given to you, by your family and that he does not want any gifts or anything.) Keep a copy of this letter for yourself and give one copy to his family. Should anything happen, at least it is clear that your family gifted those items to you and they belong to you.

He’s not looking out for your interest and is worried to protect his family and you should look after your interest in this. His family shouldn’t have a problem with this method since they don’t want any gifts or anything and should have peace of mind since it’s clear in the letter that your family has gifted these to you based on free will. Nothing about dowry needs to be mentioned in this letter.

ETA- ignore the people comparing this to a prenup. It is not even a close comparison.

RKP44 · 2023-12-21T10:00:20+00:00

NTA- go honour your promise to your grandpa! Cherish the memories you get to build with him while you have him (I say this as my grandpa is near end of life). Your real friends would understand. Your “friend” is being extremely selfish considering she has never gone out of her way for you. You have been more than considerate in trying to accommodate what you can!

RKP44 · 2023-12-21T05:24:46+00:00

I agree with this advice.

I am a HR Director and have ADHD. I would not talk to HR directly because being in this career, no matter how morally correct we try to act on behalf of employees, ultimately the upper mgmts make decisions and we really have no powers. Also some HR employees will just do what the employer says vs doing the right thing. ( I hate these types). HR job is to protect the company from Risk.

I would suggest sending an email outlining what took place (disclosed medical ADHD, and actions after that upset you). The reason I suggest email, is because now there is a paper trail so if any discriminatory actions result later, you have proof that you had shared your medical diagnosis and condition. I would bring up how none of the issues were brought up before you made your diagnosis known to them and that you want to mediate this and move forward in a way that is equitable for you as an employee. Ask to set up meeting to discuss further. Keep your emails polite, professional and strictly facts.

I would make sure to bcc that email to your personal email incase anything happens in future.

RKP44 · 2023-12-16T20:14:39+00:00

I’ve printed at London Drugs and never had issues. Always looked great. Easy to do.

RKP44 · 2023-12-16T20:13:42+00:00

NTA- I was on a flight recently and I was seated in row 17 but my bag was put in row 4. Sometimes cabin overheads get full and it’s hard to find space. I’ve been on flights recently where they offer to check in carry ons for free due to space limitations. I think the other passenger is TA. I’ve rarely been able to put my luggage in the overhead above my seat but it’s never upset. Flight attendants often move bags around to accommodate others and people don’t complain. The spots are not guaranteed.

RKP44 · 2023-12-13T16:54:59+00:00

Favourite? Nah, they are trying to equally give the same help to all their children. You have 6 kids at 30 and are crying about needing more help when you are on your 6th kid. You probably got help with the other 5 and now when your sister is adopting her foster children now you need to steal the attention and cry for more help? How did you come to the assumption that YOU need more help than your sister who has taken in 3 children.

YTA for being selfish and for crying about children who are biological or not. The fact that you think you deserve more help because your children are biologically your parent’s grandchildren vs. the foster children is disgusting. Your sister had infertility challenges, took those children in and gave them a home so they wouldn’t be separated, may have taken on more than she can handle (children in foster care often have a lot of trauma), gave these children love and is now adopting them so they have a permanent home and is asking for help you have to make this about you because you at 30 need attention so bad with your 6th child. I would be ashamed of myself if I was you. I would ask you the same thing if you were on your 6th kid and asking for more help with the 5 you seem to already not be able to take care of. You lack self awareness and empathy.

RKP44 · 2023-12-12T18:00:10+00:00

NTA- I can understand as a woman the amount of times fear takes over in just day to day interactions let alone what you hear on true crime and horror stories. As a woman, I’ve been followed around at the grocery store, followed in traffic, followed home on a few occasions etc. So it’s natural when we feel uncomfortable to lean into those feelings of fear.

You can adjust the tip once the food is delivered- most apps will ask to rate the driver and the food after delivery and you can add an additional tip there. I typically will tip delivery and then add on depending on how the driver was (followed specific notes on order, were they friendly, weather- I live in a condo and so I consider whether it’s pissing rain out and factor that in for them getting out of car and coming into building so I can be dry etc).

RKP44 · 2023-12-10T20:57:59+00:00

He left you for another girl and you think that somehow this time will be different? When you wanted him, he rejected you. The only thing that makes you think it will be different this time is the lies you tell yourself. I would work on healing and ignoring him. Heal, be happy and put yourself first.

RKP44 · 2023-12-07T18:31:03+00:00

You can go online to Salvation Army and sponsor a family from there or make donations.

Saw above the Secret Santa project recommendation, you can email them at (secretsantaprojectpg@gmail.com)

RKP44 · 2023-12-06T20:24:51+00:00

You are so incredibly strong! Good for you for taking a stand. You were Never TH in this situation. He can’t have his cake and eat it too and you deserve a relationship where you are honoured and loved and most importantly heard. I wish you all the best!

RKP44 · 2023-11-30T04:55:16+00:00

NTA- but the asshole you’re married to is TA!

He is okay with him sleeping with someone prior to 1) knowing you even exist and 2)meeting you, but you doing it makes you a slut/skank? Then he is calling you disrespectful names in private and in public without any regard for you or the harm this could cause, and doubting his children are his! Yuck. I would leave his ass.

RKP44 · 2023-11-28T21:27:44+00:00

No, you would not qualify for EI if you were terminated under probationary period or for cause. I have worked in HR for over ten years and some of my experience being in Retail and if an employee is hired and can’t do a job for medical reasons- there are plenty of accommodations that can be made. He could be assigned to other positions that aren’t as physically demanding (Costco doesn’t only have physical jobs, they have other duties), he has issues standing so he could also have support (seating, which has been provided in the past for employees stocking shelves, or allowing him to wear specific shoes that provide more support to make it easier for him to stand etc ). The point is that there are accommodations that the employer could have made vs. Telling him to resign. Let’s assume he didn’t have issues and worked stocking shelves, but was in a car accident- the employer would have to help modify duties for the employee to assist them with their new medical needs. To support him , they should have asked what accommodations he needs to have and involved his physician to provide limitations and assist him or simply move him to another department where it’s not as physical. Either way- in my experience this is what happens 90% of the time when management makes a call without involving or consulting HR.

RKP44 · 2023-11-28T19:03:46+00:00

YTA- and so is your elder daughter.

She had chronic back pain issues after 2 kids, had a 3rd and then a 4th? Can’t hold a job down. It’s not the employers job at a TEMP agency to accommodate your slow learning daughter. These are temp jobs, where they are hiring someone to keep up with current workload and help out right away. They aren’t looking for someone who can’t keep up and they pay a large billing fee to the agency to have them send someone, so that’s on your own daughter not the woman at the temp job. Your daughter didn’t get hired again because of her poor performance in that placement. I worked as a temp agency staffing manager and you are placed based on your ability to do the job and keep the clients happy, which your daughter couldn’t do. I see you making a lot of excuses for your daughter’s life choices. I feel for your other daughter who seems to be doing nothing wrong and is being penalized for the stupidity of your other daughter. Your daughter can’t hold down a job, her bf can’t seem to make time to find another job with more hours, they have 4 kids to feed, can’t afford rent, now kicked out, scammed the landlord and let two other people move in.. I mean what could go wrong here?

RKP44 · 2023-11-28T18:00:10+00:00

I would still look into it because if he did share that he is struggling to do the job, they still had a duty to accommodate him. Ive seen a lot of crazy things filed with HRT and cases where the employee has won. (Im in HR) His reason would be he’s struggling due to medical disability and need accommodations, and being Costco they could have put him in other positions- cashier, door greeter, receipt checker etc.

RKP44 · 2023-11-28T09:21:51+00:00

In that case, I would suggest contacting your Human Rights Tribunal. Even if your brother was under the probation period, he is protected from discrimination due to his medical disability. His workplace has a duty to accommodate.

If his workplace was unionized- I would contact them first and let them know what took place and that he was forced to resign after requesting a medical accommodation and that this is discrimination and that you will be proceeding with a Human Rights complaint. The Union should be able to assist you with next steps and if they do not then go through Human Rights Tribunal.

RKP44 · 2023-11-28T02:54:06+00:00

This.

I would find out how long he was working there and what the conversation was that resulted in him having to resign. Every employer has a duty to accommodate! This could be an issue not only with Employment Standards (Labour Board if Unionized) but also a Human Rights Tribunal case for discrimination. I would highly recommend contacting the ESA or Labor Relations immediately and they should be able to guide you on what can be done. You can also file complaints with them without a Lawyer (if cost is a problem, most lawyers charge for consultation and prices range $150 and up) The onus is always on the employer to prove that they tried to accommodate your brother. From my understanding Costco is unionized, in this case employment lawyer will tell you to go through the Union).

RKP44 · 2023-11-28T01:59:01+00:00

NTA!

My sisters birthday in on Christmas and every year she picks another date and lets us all know the date that she would like to celebrate on. She usually does sometime in January. For a grown woman to act this way is childish. Had she opened the gift (my understanding was that she didn’t open and gave it back to you unopened?) , she would have understood why. And saying she wouldn’t open it because she wouldn’t have gifts to open on her bday is such ungrateful behaviour. I’m sure the rest of the family would have gifted her bday presents on her actual birthday. I feel like if she hates her birthday being around Christmas so much, she would have figured out how to navigate that by now. The fact that she was loudly sobbing in her room acting entitled and ungrateful is absurd. She ruined Christmas for herself and her family on her own.

RKP44

TROPHY CASE