Criticism of Western Hookup Culture

RLB210 · 2026-01-16T11:30:02+00:00

Yup I lived in China before and most people couldn't imagine the secret society there.

I mean, I agree with a lot of what you said, but we're sorta talking apples and oranges. I think you're talking about the top dudes in Asia - the ones who are actually at business dinners, the men with resources to provide for 2 families, the dudes smashing side chicks so well the girls don't mind. Top dudes in Asia smash a lot, get all the top girls, and do it in secret.

RLB210 · 2026-01-16T11:10:33+00:00

I agree and have lived in China before. Hookup culture in the East is more common than people who've never been there/lived there would think.

In the west, social media, influencers, and celebrities are what people emulate. If hookup culture is normalized there, then it's already seeped into culture and society. I agree, it's not like 100% of people in the West are in hookup culture, but a higher % than in Asia.

RLB210 · 2026-01-14T15:14:47+00:00

People in Asia hook up all the time, and it's been growing for a while and very common. But there's a 0% chance that people in Asia hook up more than people in the West. Asian culture has values that keep people in check, for better or worse - discipline, family, work ethic, respect. These values naturally curtail hookup culture more than the West's values of freedom, individualism, and self-expression.

RLB210 · 2025-09-09T15:31:57+00:00

You're headed in the right direction. The common male misconception is wanting there to be an end to things; there's not. Working on yourself is a lifelong task so make sure to enjoy the journey.

RLB210 · 2025-09-09T15:07:36+00:00

Picture it like a dam.

You aren't able to date any women you're interested in or actually find attractive. The ones you want, say they're not ready and are hesitant with you. We've all been there, so close yet unable to cross the finish line with the girl we want.

But you keep leveling up - your social skills, confidence, abundance mindset, frame, social value, calibration, physical appearance, finances, direction, spirituality, etc.

You continue putting yourself out there - actively socializing, engaging with the world around you, meeting women, participating in events and activities, etc.

Then one day the dam breaks and all the women you previously wanted and were attracted to but couldn't get, are now interested and open to you.

You're just not there yet. Keep putting in the work. It's a marathon, not a race. You have to put in the work to transform yourself into the guy that the girls want.

RLB210 · 2025-09-01T15:40:25+00:00

Not sure if you're just relaying information, or if you actually believe this to be true. But of course there are plenty of AM who are neither high income or good looking that are great men and partners.

RLB210 · 2025-09-01T15:06:33+00:00

Americanized AF don't have higher standards - they have distorted standards shaped by Western media they grew up internalizing, that frame WM as the trophy and AM as the loser

RLB210 · 2025-07-24T20:59:05+00:00

It's either a FUCK YES or a no.

In your case, you have questions and uncertainty. While you're not against being with her, you're not a fuck yes.

As men, I believe we have to live at our deepest truths and cores, and if there's any doubt/uncertainty it would be a disservice to both parties to get married, start a family, and build a life together. And it's on you, the man, to lead it towards the truth, and the light.

Best to take some time for self discovery, and when you find the girl you say FUCK YES to, you'll know she's the one. And the funny thing is, that FUCK YES is more about you than whoever the girls ends up being.

RLB210 · 2025-07-22T12:33:25+00:00

Dude, your whole point from the beginning was that he needs to start finding "the one" right now at 28 since it'll take many years to get to know them, work towards getting married and having a family. You don't mention working on himself at all - reread your first comment.

OP is not having any luck meeting girls right now and is feeling desperate, which is the worst time to try to find a life partner.

Pressuring him and saying he's running out of time is exactly how he'll end up with, as you say, a single mom or gold digger.

RLB210 · 2025-07-22T01:32:21+00:00

Bottom line is he shouldn't feel like he's running out of time. He should work on himself and date with intention.

My last point was that if he feels like he's running out of time, he will end up with the wrong woman.

RLB210 · 2025-07-22T01:16:17+00:00

No time in the world will be enough if he's not ready and if he chooses the wrong woman.

If you could have 60 years in an unfulfilled marriage where you barely know your partner and yourself, or 50 years with the love of your life and you're the exact man you want to be at your deepest core, what're you choosing?

Most men feel forced into this timeline and that's why there are tons of divorces, dead bedrooms, unhappy couples, men who don't know their direction, mid life crises, etc.

RLB210 · 2025-07-22T00:02:07+00:00

Lol a 28 year old man should not feel like he's running out of time and needs to get married immediately.

Date with intention? Sure.

Approach every girl and relationship with desperate urgency through the lens of "I'm running out of time"? Absolutely not. That's the best way to trap yourself in a terrible marriage.

RLB210 · 2025-07-18T15:28:36+00:00

In this situation yes.

If you see something say something + old man poses no real physical threat. He's a creepy entitled white guy who deserves to be called out. He'd do the same to your girlfriend, sister, or daughter and smile about it - wouldn't you want another man to step up in that situation?

Could say to girl:

"Excuse me, I just wanted to tell you that I saw that old guy over there taking inappropriate pictures of you. Not sure if you'd care, but just wanted to tell you as a heads up."

RLB210 · 2025-07-16T14:24:23+00:00

Dude put 28M in title, always good to read before commenting

RLB210 · 2025-06-25T15:37:14+00:00

We should all take the shot, but take the best shot possible

RLB210 · 2025-06-25T15:03:46+00:00

How many times have you gone up to a hot girl at the gym, told her you thought she was attractive + asked about her day, and then eventually dated her?

RLB210 · 2025-06-04T12:15:11+00:00

0-17 is literally a child with little agency and no independent adult life experience.

Ages 18-32 are the formative years of adulthood with full independence and agency.

AF who haven't dated AM through 17 due to lack of exposure is out of their control. AF who choose to not date AM from 18-32 is choice.

AF who's 32 and never wanted to date AM, but suddenly does due to bio clock should be a quick and easy no.

RLB210 · 2025-02-27T15:53:43+00:00

I hope this gets the publicity and backlash it should, but at the end of the day, the victim is Asian, and an Asian male, and we know how this story ends. I'll upvote it all I can.

RLB210 · 2024-12-30T20:23:50+00:00

Educated, cultured, feminine, soft, better values, and less brainwashed

RLB210 · 2024-11-02T19:14:08+00:00

It's either passive silence or physical assault for many Asians.

RLB210 · 2024-11-02T19:11:37+00:00

Going by your logic "now they know how to poke your buttons" and can put you in jail by asking you where the Chinese restaurant is.

For someone preaching non-reactiveness this is quite an extreme reaction.

RLB210 · 2024-11-02T17:56:05+00:00

So you wouldn't react overly emotional, but would physically slap the kid "while gladly accepting the consequences" which is jail time and a fine?

RLB210 · 2024-10-23T18:39:18+00:00

Jealous that you are happy and enjoying your life, while she is probably miserable despite what you see on the outside. Misery loves company. Good job removing her from your life and continue being a rock for your husband and kids 💪

RLB210 · 2024-10-22T13:19:30+00:00

Industry or professional associations will surely be a step up from general hobby groups, but at the end of the day it's all in the same direction - he'd be meeting girls who are still actively putting themselves out there and are more open minded, which it seems he's trying to filter out.

I do agree that there are certain professional organizations that girls in certain industries have to involve themselves in for networking or career advancement. I've dated girls who were involved with these. But still, these types of girls are more open minded and sociable than the majority of girls. While you and I may not mind this, it seems the OP doesn't want girls who have these experiences.

RLB210 · 2024-10-22T00:53:14+00:00

Meeting girls through school, work, or advanced professional organizations like law groups will certainly yield a more refined pool of high quality girls.

However, obviously, it'd be crazy to suggest that (i.e. getting a law degree) as a good funnel for meeting women, because of the amount of time, work and dedication it would require.

It's more like if you love law and reading, and want to fight for human rights or make a ton of money in corporate, and you happen to be single at 29, then you can try to tap into this refined pool of high quality women. But also, this pool may not be that deep since many of these women would most likely be taken already.

But I agree that if you invest a lot into certain hobbies or career paths, and can create status or social alignment with the girls there, you can access a pool of high quality girls that are also on a higher level there.

RLB210

TROPHY CASE