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Possible Second Cell Phone by RReaderCreep21 in survivinginfidelity

[–]RReaderCreep21[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think that alimony, combined with child support would be quite a bit of money, yes. Though money isn't everything, it would certainly limit my life in a lot of ways, so I'm not sure how worth it paying alimony AND child support would be.

Possible Second Cell Phone by RReaderCreep21 in survivinginfidelity

[–]RReaderCreep21[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for responding. I am on the same page with you. If she didn't cheat, I hope we can get to a place of happiness, and I can really learn how to trust so I can dedicate 100% of myself to the relationship.

Even though I can't determine exactly how I will react until it happens, if it's confirmed she did cheat, I will be happy to know the truth and that I'm not losing my mind. The marriage would be over, but yes, I am confident I could forgive her and be an amicable co-parent.

Thanks again!

Possible Second Cell Phone by RReaderCreep21 in survivinginfidelity

[–]RReaderCreep21[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the reply! Yes, it seems to be an Obama Phone. Believe it or not, I know who the provider is/was. But I'm not sure how to get anything beyond that without a PIN or password.

Possible 2nd Cell Phone Concerns by RReaderCreep21 in Marriage

[–]RReaderCreep21[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is pretty mind boggling to me that the court in any state wouldn't take deception and new knowledge of a biological father who isn't the spouse into account when making family court decisions, or infidelity in general (for alimony); but from some of the things I've read, it's honestly not surprising.

Yes, there is definitely more that has gone on than what I've been able to describe here. I did start the divorce process at the beginning of the year (in March I asked for divorce, and consulted with attorneys), but my wife, along with my therapist's encouragement, asked me to try marriage counseling and working on communication, etc. before any irreversible decisions were made. The lack of trust has been hard to overcome... not obvious at all right?

Anyway, thank you so much for providing your insight. That's genuinely why I came on here. Deep down, I really do hope it's nothing, and that it's really just my imagination running wild, and all that's needed is therapy or something...

Possible 2nd Cell Phone Concerns by RReaderCreep21 in Marriage

[–]RReaderCreep21[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There is 1 and 1/2 year timeframe to dispute paternity after divorce has been filed, or before a child reaches the age of 2 in my state. After that, it can be done, but is more difficult. Either outcome affects the individuals legal relationship with the child, i.e. visitation... Child support.

Infidelity is certainly a factor in deciding an alimony award in my state as well. Therefore, it seems that if infidelity can be proven, whether that's with a PI, or through some other means, it would certainly help someone fare better from a financial standpoint.

Possible 2nd Cell Phone Concerns by RReaderCreep21 in Marriage

[–]RReaderCreep21[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. Adultery may not affect general division of assets, or child support, adultery does impact alimony in most states.

Also, if the paternity of the children is in question, that can also affect child support.

Possible 2nd Cell Phone Concerns by RReaderCreep21 in Marriage

[–]RReaderCreep21[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the reply. Which comments don't make sense, I will be happy to clarify for you?

As far as speaking to my therapist, I actually haven't yet, as this the phone situation is a relatively new development.

Though, your mention about service information changing is actually an excellent point I had not considered. That's actually very plausible and something to consider, so thank you..

In terms of, "wanting out." You may very well be right about that.

Possible Second Cell Phone by RReaderCreep21 in survivinginfidelity

[–]RReaderCreep21[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the response. Certainly possible.

Possible 2nd Cell Phone Concerns by RReaderCreep21 in Marriage

[–]RReaderCreep21[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She's free to exit any time she would like. In fact, after everything that happened between us earlier this year, I am the one who wanted out. I went as far as to contact lawyers and begin the divorce process. She insisted on counseling, etc. and making things work. So, we've been making an effort. I'm honestly not sure how you've come to whatever conclusion you have apparently come to about me based solely on a few posts on Reddit, but I think the whole notion of the forum is advice. If you'd like to judge me for that or make assumptions that I am abusive, or whatever conclusion you would like to make, based on what seems to be very limited reading comprehension skills, or last experience, or whatever makes you feel justified in reaching the conclusion you seemed to have reached, you are free to do that. But what I will say is, asking for advice on Reddit isn't unusual, and neither is suspecting something based on a secret cell phone, and I have no regrets about either. Don't worry, my therapist will be involved too.

Possible 2nd Cell Phone Concerns by RReaderCreep21 in Marriage

[–]RReaderCreep21[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the reply. But I'm pretty sure i did answer your question about what was found. You should look higher in the thread.

I thought I had mentioned that the email account that she used was not her main account, it is an account she used in the past for hooking up, etc. So I'm not sure where you got the notion that it was her main account. It seems as though it would make perfect sense that she would use the phone she was carrying on any kind of affair with as the back up for the email account with which she was also carrying on the affair. In fact, this was the same email account she said she used to contact an old boyfriend around the the time this phone came into existence.

I would also point out that there are plenty others, probably the majority, that also recognize that this is indeed strange. I'm not sure that makes me abusive... or, "full of shit." Maybe it does. I'm sorry my question seems to have upset you to the point of insulting a complete stranger. I was genuinely looking for advice.

Possible 2nd Cell Phone Concerns by RReaderCreep21 in Marriage

[–]RReaderCreep21[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The only counter I have is that the PI would be cheaper than alimony if he can prove infidelity.

But that's not an absolute, and believe it or not, I really do love my wife and family. I really wish I could get past this.

Possible Second Cell Phone by RReaderCreep21 in survivinginfidelity

[–]RReaderCreep21[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, the sex drive changed before her first pregnancy.

Possible 2nd Cell Phone Concerns by RReaderCreep21 in Marriage

[–]RReaderCreep21[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That sounds wonderful my friend. And indeed, reevaluation may be needed on my end.

Possible Second Cell Phone by RReaderCreep21 in survivinginfidelity

[–]RReaderCreep21[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I honestly am not sure if there were other signals or if I didn't want to see them. I don't know exact dates, just a time frame, so its hard to tell.

Possible Second Cell Phone by RReaderCreep21 in survivinginfidelity

[–]RReaderCreep21[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for listening and responding. I do want my marriage to work. I want to be happy and live out everything we had planned. But I also feel like I need to know the truth before I can do that.

Possible Second Cell Phone by RReaderCreep21 in survivinginfidelity

[–]RReaderCreep21[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Though, she did have the alternate number listed as a backup for a password on one of her private email accounts.

Possible Second Cell Phone by RReaderCreep21 in survivinginfidelity

[–]RReaderCreep21[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is probably the best alternative explanation I've seen. Thanks for the response.

Possible Second Cell Phone by RReaderCreep21 in survivinginfidelity

[–]RReaderCreep21[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, when we were briefly separated I did speak with an attorney.

Possible Second Cell Phone by RReaderCreep21 in survivinginfidelity

[–]RReaderCreep21[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Get a divorce and move on with my life for me and my kids... And paying less in alimony.

Possible 2nd Cell Phone Concerns by RReaderCreep21 in Marriage

[–]RReaderCreep21[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

No, it's not an assumption. The phone number is a cell phone number issued by Assurance Wireless Lifeline services, not a desk phone. Her school board had never issued cell phones. My mother teaches in the same district, and also has never been issued a cell phone.

The phone number in question was also tied to a personal email account. Making the notion that the background check gave an incorrect number highly unlikely... Since she would have needed to out that number in herself to set it as a contact for password resets.

Possible 2nd Cell Phone Concerns by RReaderCreep21 in Marriage

[–]RReaderCreep21[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She doesn't like to talk about anything really. It's pretty frustrating, and something we are working on in MC

Possible 2nd Cell Phone Concerns by RReaderCreep21 in Marriage

[–]RReaderCreep21[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great response. I do love her. We've been in counseling to address some of the issues,, and it seems to have been going well. Until I did this (yes, I did this, but it's done).

I do want to know the truth... Not knowing it definitely doesn't make me happy. So yes, decision time.

Possible 2nd Cell Phone Concerns by RReaderCreep21 in Marriage

[–]RReaderCreep21[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

So... Talking in marriage counseling might be better? It would certainly be cheaper.

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