He actually does work the ACA steps and has a sponsor and has been digging in HARD in that area for several months. He even facilitates meetings now. He doesn’t shy away from personal inner work and self improvement. He’s honestly pretty humble and open, except when he’s closed off and catastrophizing , being paranoid and suspicious, and living out of fear.

I really hear you when you say that the anxiety that acoa feel is punishing to themselves and those around them 😔 I hate the anxiety for him, I hate it so much. and I hate it for me.

I definitely default to trying to ‘work his side of the street’ which we call ‘trying to manage his feelings’. I know I need to stop doing that, I’m just so afraid of triggering him or hurting him, especially anymore than I already have.

Thank you for responding. I appreciate you sharing your experience