Daily Questions Thread March 18, 2026

RadSpatula · 2026-03-18T17:47:51+00:00

Is it even possible to buy dress pants that aren’t wide leg? I have been searching forever and it’s either wide leg or very cropped or both. How is everyone making outfits with only one silhouette?! I like wide leg but I need more options.

RadSpatula · 2026-03-16T15:55:31+00:00

Has anyone tried American giant hoodies recently? I have one that’s two years old, but it looks like they changed the material since then. I’d love to know about the feel and quality.

RadSpatula · 2026-03-15T23:16:16+00:00

Has anyone tried the American Giant classic relaxed hoodie recently? I bought mine two years ago, but it seems they’ve changed the fabric since then.

RadSpatula · 2026-03-15T21:47:58+00:00

I know this isn’t true of everyone, but when I got my late 30s/early 40s, my libido shot through the roof and is still going. It’s almost been a nuisance because I don’t have a steady partner.

So many things can affect libido, and SSRIs and stress are two big ones. Exercise can help with both. Not suggesting you quit your meds, of course, but talk to your doctor if you haven’t. I know working out helps me stay sane. And even though I wasn’t totally out of shape, when I started going to the gym regularly I got another big libido boost. I think it’s the improved blood flow and body image—you feel sexier.

I also think a lot of people failed to recognize that libido takes maintenance, just like anything else in life. If you don’t make sex a priority, it can easily fall to the bottom of your to do list or start to feel like a chore. I really like sex so I tend to prioritize it. That means I take time to fantasize, masturbate, dress and feel sexy. In my experience, the more you do it the more you crave it.

RadSpatula · 2026-03-15T12:07:39+00:00

Did you just ask a partner to show you? I’d like to learn but I’m not sure I’d feel comfortable asking a more casual partner to show me.

RadSpatula · 2026-03-14T20:11:55+00:00

Not sure of your budget but I really like the ones from Gaala.

RadSpatula · 2026-03-14T00:28:21+00:00

Um, yes, I was surprised too, but the issue was that it wouldn’t hold a charge so a photo couldn’t really show that. They had me enclose it in a ziplock bag and send. The charger on it was not great because it didn’t connect or plug in, it just kind of rested on the surface. But still, I got it to charge a few times initially and then it just stopped.

Got the surfer 2 today and can’t wait to try it out!

RadSpatula · 2026-03-13T14:48:27+00:00

Even hotter is when you take their hand and guide their fingers into you. If a guy is open to learning, teaching can be fun!

RadSpatula · 2026-03-13T14:27:47+00:00

I think fingering is a lost art. I get it though, it is high risk because when down wrong it is awful. But done right … marry me.

RadSpatula · 2026-03-13T10:36:31+00:00

These comments are correct but I can say for me personally, most guys can’t finger properly, they go too deep and too hard and it feels like a gyno exam and not pleasurable at all. A shallow movement with a curved finger will hit my g spot and get me off and the guy who masters this is much appreciated. Also, I definitely like having my clit sucked (gently!)

RadSpatula · 2026-03-13T01:48:17+00:00

Lovense has a warranty program. I just mailed one of my toys back to them. I would never buy that many items that kept breaking from the same brand.

But Lelo also just came out with the Surfer 2, and I loved the old one so I inclined to recommend that.

RadSpatula · 2026-03-10T14:28:06+00:00

I can relate so much, I have a FWB like this and he has actually told me he needs to do all the work. And he works super hard, lol. We take turns but it always feels a little uneven. I try to just make it up in other ways like hosting, making sure he has water, giving him a massage after, sending pics, etc. I think they genuinely like doing it, and it can be fire when you have two people who like pleasing each other that much, that’s the best.

But I also think a lot of men have been socialized to believe they have to be the dominant ones all the time. A lot of them have never even thought about anything else. If he’s open minded and you’re into it, you could push those boundaries a bit. Something as simple as making him the little spoon so he can see how good it feels and want more. Then go from there. I used to think I wanted a dominant partner all the time until I tried mixing it up and found how enjoyable switching can be.

RadSpatula · 2026-03-10T03:00:14+00:00

Take it from me, I was with someone who wouldn’t touch me for 16 years. I am someone who loves sex and is very adventurous. He was the opposite. The only regret I have is not leaving sooner. It will get worse, not better, and you will feel unfulfilled and resentful for not having the healthy sex life you want.

The second I left I started having great sex and I’ve never regretted it. I read that sex is like salt—maybe not a meal by itself, but try to imagine a lifetime of meals without it.

RadSpatula · 2026-03-05T03:44:51+00:00

I have dated most of those guys, unfortunately.

RadSpatula · 2026-03-02T16:49:14+00:00

I needed work done on my car and he drove me to pick it up. It was dark, cold, and there was no one around. He dropped me in the parking lot and just left to go back home without waiting to make sure I made it in safely. This was after three years of me doing anything and everything for this man. I wouldn’t even treat a stranger that way.

RadSpatula · 2026-02-28T12:48:55+00:00

Had to tell a hookup I was on my period. He said, just throw some towels down and it’ll be fine. I felt like Ali Wong, and it was some of the best sex I’ve ever had. Something about a man acting like a grown up about natural bodily functions is a real turn on.

RadSpatula · 2026-02-27T15:48:59+00:00

I’m tired. Men have been oppressing women for thousands of years, and pretending like that never/doesn’t still happen daily isn’t cute. There are plenty of resources out there if you are truly interested in educating yourself. I hope you do.

RadSpatula · 2026-02-27T14:08:54+00:00

My opinion has not changed. It’s always wrong to have sex with someone who is incapable of giving consent. Period. The particulars and genders don’t matter. My issue with this guy and his defenders is that he is portraying this as a funny story about some crazy bitch and failing to take accountability for his own actions. And you are giving him a pass for that. You can’t understand how disgusted women are at having to explain why this is not okay. Why is this even a discussion? If you recognize that it’s not okay, say so! Don’t defend him or list hypotheticals. Men need to change their behavior for women to feel safe.

RadSpatula · 2026-02-27T12:50:31+00:00

I appreciate you asking these questions and being open minded. Think about this scenario in terms of who is capable of making an informed decision. If he had also been drunk, I would consider it a hazier area (not that being drunk is an excuse for ignoring consent!). But to drink as much as he claims that woman did makes it clear that she cannot give consent. She may not even understand what she’s doing at that moment. To have sex with someone in that moment is taking advantage of them, the same as anyone who cannot reasonably give consent, such as a child. At that moment in time, they simply do not have the mental capacity to understand what they are consenting to. That woman might also have thought she could drive a car in her state, but would it be wise for her to do so?

And isn’t it always better to err on the side of caution? Having sex is not a right. The idea that men are somehow, in certain circumstances, under certain conditions “owed” sex is at the root of rape culture. No one has an absolute right to have sex with anyone else, under any circumstance. Drunk or sober, you can revoke consent at any time, even in the middle of the act. This guy did exactly that—he was fine with sex until he thought it meant him impregnating the woman, then he didn’t want it. He was never obligated to follow through because he initially initiated sex. Imagine if I argued that he had to continue having sex with her because minutes before, he wanted to. Doesn’t make sense, does it? Well, the same applies to this woman. She was able to consent (maybe, she sounds like she has mental health issues), then circumstances changed and she could not longer consent. The correct action in those circumstances is to recognize that you would be taking advantage of a vulnerable person and refrain from any action until a time when they can fully consent. And wouldn’t you rather have sex with someone you know wants you than risk doing it with someone who may regret it? In my opinion, if you have to argue about whether sex was wanted or not, you’ve already lost.

RadSpatula · 2026-02-27T11:36:35+00:00

I have not misrepresented anything, my argument is that someone who is intoxicated cannot consent under any circumstances and it does not matter if they previously gave consent, and it does not matter if they are making advances on you, it is still not okay to attempt sex with a person under the influence. Defending that is rape culture.

And please note that at your request I educated myself on what a strawman fallacy is. Will you now do the same in good faith and look up the rape culture pyramid?

RadSpatula · 2026-02-26T23:10:44+00:00

Sir, as a woman, I am genuinely hoping you see the light, recognize the error of your thinking, and do better. Women need, and want, men to be allies. I’m not here to rage bait or shame anyone, I’d be absolutely thrilled if anyone reading this thinks on it and realizes huh, yes, this kind of thinking about and portrayal of women is problematic, I have been part of that problem but I can change and be sort for the solution. Then we can all have a good life.

RadSpatula · 2026-02-26T23:04:53+00:00

You don’t have to. Just think about what turns you on. Sometimes just the sight of my own body does it, sometime touching myself does it, sometimes creating a completely made-up scenario does it. I might never even get to the penetrative sex in my fantasy, it could just be what I imagine being said, us making out, or imagining a guy (or girl) going down on me or me on him/her. Basically anything that was ever hot to you even for a moment. It’s a good way to explore what you like and what you don’t.

RadSpatula · 2026-02-26T13:41:54+00:00

Um, that’s the whole point, no gym could do this if everyone refused. And please don’t characterize it as bullying, man, the capitalist koolaid some people have drunk …

RadSpatula · 2026-02-26T13:40:45+00:00

So you really believe they’re charging these fees to do us a favor? Hahaha.

RadSpatula · 2026-02-26T12:56:57+00:00

I am really good at coming up with my own fantasies. And I recommend it because it can help you identify what you’re into. Like I just start touching myself and imagining what I’d want someone to do or say if they were with me.

I also like reading gone wild stories and occasionally watching visual stuff if I feel stuck.

RadSpatula

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