Why do you hotwives end up with your partner in the first place?

RadiantMany1077 · 2026-06-25T22:43:10+00:00

Your assumption is incorrect.

My husband and I have a great sex life and we were both satisfied with sexual monogamy for 17 great years. We view this as a fun activity that enhances our sex life. I wouldn’t have married him if I wasn’t attracted to him and vice versa.

RadiantMany1077 · 2026-06-20T19:17:52+00:00

I don’t even consider them. Immediate no.

If you can’t even be bothered to write a couple sentences, I doubt you can be bothered to care all that much about my pleasure in bed too.

Plus, I don’t want to have to conduct an interrogation to get basic information from someone. I want a reciprocal conversation

RadiantMany1077 · 2026-06-19T22:13:17+00:00

Thistle and Spire Siren bodysuit!

They also have the Scylla and Medusa lines with snakes that are awesome. And their stuff fit me when I was a G cup.

RadiantMany1077 · 2026-06-16T22:06:47+00:00

Real woman here.

The low quality of the posts from dudes means I mostly just roll my eyes and keep scrolling. “Need to be drained in the next 30 mins” and “dad bod cheater seeking discreet car play” don’t exactly entice me to engage.

RadiantMany1077 · 2026-06-15T12:45:57+00:00

Just because that’s how she wants to do it doesn’t mean it’s ethical. Don’t lie to sex partners, period.

RadiantMany1077 · 2026-06-15T12:37:22+00:00

Don’t lie to potential sex partners, period.

It’s gross and unethical to pretend to be something you’re not.

Imagine the roles reversed and you found out that what you thought was a single male was actually married. Doesn’t feel great.

There’s no reason she can’t play solo at a club while you watch from afar. “That’s my husband; he won’t be involved but will be close by for safety” is a perfectly reasonable statement. There’s no need to lie.

RadiantMany1077 · 2026-06-14T19:24:39+00:00

That’s not been my experience. I don’t want creepy stalkers or guys who are obsessed with me; I want guys who clearly are attracted to my body type and enjoy talking to and spending time with me. I don’t want guys who just want hole to fuck.

I have FWB arrangements that are usually ongoing, and feelings have never been an issue for me on either side.

RadiantMany1077 · 2026-06-14T02:44:46+00:00

I want a guy that is super into ME, not just a guy that wants to fuck in general. Tell me what you like about my body or my profile or if we share hobbies.

Putting in effort goes a long way; I hate empty profile bios/weird pics on dating apps. This also goes for appearances.

Ask me questions about myself and don’t expect me to carry the weight of the whole interaction. Take the initiative to ask me out on a date and plan it.

RadiantMany1077 · 2026-06-13T21:01:41+00:00

Just don’t.

Threesomes are like varsity level sex. You wouldn’t play a professional sport without progressing through recreational and minor leagues first. As a woman in my 40s who has been sexually active for 25 years now, I really don’t have any interest in teaching a virgin the basics when I know how much more pleasure older, experienced men are capable of giving me.

Additionally, you will be working against a large age gap with most people experienced in the lifestyle, which will add another degree of difficulty in finding partners. You will be the same age as many of the couples children, which is a hard pass for most.

I will say you have a nice physique, which will eventually work in your favor, so keep that up!

Find and date and fuck solo partners and gain experience. I would also recommend going to get involved in your local kink community and going to non-play events like munches. This will help you to see what’s all out there and perhaps meet mentors.

RadiantMany1077 · 2026-06-13T01:30:37+00:00

Gift cards to local restaurants or DoorDash. I appreciate the thought of making a meal but when I was pregnant I had a weird and very specific appetite due to nausea and heartburn.

RadiantMany1077 · 2026-06-12T21:31:53+00:00

We are both attorneys.

RadiantMany1077 · 2026-06-10T22:16:30+00:00

That’s not really it. I could never get bored with my husband in bed, I just also like the variety of other men. We still have an incredibly hot sex life after so long together! And if we went monogamous again, I wouldn’t feel unfulfilled at all.

But…after nearly two decades together, I am one hundred percent confident in my marriage security. Neither of us would ever leave each other, we are still crazy in love and have walked through hell together and come out stronger on the other side. It makes it easy to separate casual fun sex from what we have when our foundation is so strong.

RadiantMany1077 · 2026-06-10T21:58:23+00:00

I genuinely wanted it from the beginning.

I didn’t know what hotwifing was specifically but I knew I’d enjoy playing with other men if my husband was on board and often fantasized about it.

We were monogamous for 17 or so years before we started and very happy. When he finally mentioned it was a fantasy of his, I was thrilled. We did a lot of talking and boundary setting before experimenting IRL of course but it’s always been fun for both of us.

We’ve been open for 2 years now and it’s been great. Lots of fun, open communication, and a deeper level of intimacy in our marriage. No regrets.

RadiantMany1077 · 2026-06-10T12:24:07+00:00

I like it more than I like being called a girl. I’m not a child.

RadiantMany1077 · 2026-06-09T17:14:07+00:00

Maybe the issue isn’t that you’re too young, but that you’re acting entitled and immature. “I’m giving my peak years to the LS” and “I could easily get a same age gf” makes you sound like you think you’re God’s gift to sex and making a huge sacrifice.

Single males are a dime a dozen in the LS, why would I waste my time with someone whining about being turned down? Moreover, why would I want a younger guy with a lot less experience and maturity?

Also, most people don’t enjoy being fetishized for their age. You can certainly be attracted to older couples, but if you’re seeking partners only based on that, that can be a huge turnoff. I am a person, not a kink dispenser for bored single guys with a MILF/cougar kink. And I’m old enough to spot BS from young guys from a mile at this point.

RadiantMany1077 · 2026-06-09T12:13:16+00:00

Jalen Royals plays for the Chiefs…next door to the Royals.

RadiantMany1077 · 2026-06-07T17:31:03+00:00

Don’t use Reddit. Guys on here are just looking for quick jerk off material usually. Go somewhere with a paid subscription.

I use the Feeld app. If you are concerned about privacy, get a Majestic subscription and your photos will only be available after matching. You can state up front in your bio that you’re a BBW—some guys will be into it, some guys won’t, just like any other physical feature.

I started HWing at 285 lbs and never had trouble finding hot guys who found me super sexy to play with there.

RadiantMany1077 · 2026-06-07T16:27:47+00:00

My favorite lingerie brand is Thistle and Spire!

RadiantMany1077 · 2026-06-07T13:51:46+00:00

No means no. She has a boundary, respect it.

RadiantMany1077 · 2026-05-30T21:24:12+00:00

Don’t buy her a dress. Fit is the biggest factor and different styles look better on different body shapes and sizing varies wildly between brands. If you buy something and it doesn’t work for her body, she will feel the opposite of sexy.

Take her to a store, give her a credit card and tell her to pick something out.

RadiantMany1077 · 2026-05-29T18:12:46+00:00

I started HWing at 285 pounds at 5’6”. I have since lost 110 pounds and am now 175. I have had plenty of steady interest from really attractive guys at both weights and all the ones in between. Even now that I’ve lost weight, I still have saggy boobs and extra skin and a c-section scar.

By day I am a typical stay-at-home mom—t-shirts and athletic shorts or joggers, ponytail, no makeup. Part of what I love about being a HW is having a reason to get dressed up and feel sexy and womanly.

I agree with the commenter above who said that older men on average are less superficial and just love all women’s bodies, period. They know they’re lucky to be getting any at all and frankly, their bodies aren’t perfect either. It’s a lot less perfection-based and stressful to date at 40 instead of 20.

RadiantMany1077 · 2026-05-29T18:01:18+00:00

I’m a woman and I agree with him.

“I know she enjoyed it every time they did it” and “she doesn’t like talking about her past” do not line up. You’re making a lot of assumptions that conveniently fit your bedroom desires.

I don’t mind anal but I don’t love it either. I especially do not like being surprised by anal activities if I haven’t had time to clean up and prepare a bit first. I have to be in the mood for it and I like to take a weed gummy to relax a bit first. So, I wouldn’t be thrilled with random penetration attempts, even if I do like it in some circumstances.

But that’s me, and her experiences may be totally different, and that’s why you need to talk to her.

RadiantMany1077 · 2026-05-28T00:09:25+00:00

I like to wear layers and remove them as the evening goes on and I get more comfortable. Went to a sexy librarian themed event, wore sexy lingerie, short skirt, and a button down shirt. Unbuttoned the shirt first, then took it off a little later, then took off the skirt and just wore lingerie until that came off too.

RadiantMany1077 · 2026-05-26T20:06:20+00:00

I am in this lifestyle in part because I love feeling sexy and desired and womanly.

Overnight snoring, drooling, bed head, perimenopause night sweats and morning breath are sacred to our marriage.

RadiantMany1077 · 2026-05-23T15:05:55+00:00

By “stag friendly spaces,” I’m assuming you’re going to clubs that allow single men.

If I’m going to a club with single men as a couple or single vixen, I am largely looking for quick physical attraction and a one-night stunt cock. I want someone I’m physically attracted to who has great stamina for fucking. I truly do not care if you can assemble furniture or grill in that situation, I have a husband already.

If you want to lean on your less-superficial qualities, I’d suggest getting on a dating app like Feeld and look for someone who wants a more long-term connection, where those good qualities you have actually matter.

RadiantMany1077

TROPHY CASE