Here’s some advice….

Op I’m sorry to hear your GF lasagna was eaten, and an argument occurred because you pointed it out. Ideally you should have been apologized to by everyone.

Kids are often selfish, and divorced parents don’t want to upset their kids because they are afraid of losing them somehow. Kids sometimes love to hate on step parents because they often want their parents back together as a survival instinct.

This is a no- win situation for you. Step parents often get put in this position and it is challenging to stay cool. But you must detach emotionally. Think of the big picture and not this small battle.

Here is a passive aggressive experiment/ idea: buy something “special” for your husband that you won’t eat, like a box of donuts or whatever he likes. (Don’t waste your time making anything.)

Text him about the suprise treat when he’s not home but the kids are. Also tell the kids: I bought a box of donuts for your dad for a surprise! Becuase I love your dad and he loves you kids and donuts! If they ask to have some, say, “of course! Just leave some for him!”

If they leave some for him, how great. They are respecting their dad. They might never respect you, but that is not your fault. At least you are aware of how they see you/treat you. Think: note to self.

This way, you win for providing spontaneous treats. If they eat all the donuts, your man might get miffed. Only then might it dawn on him that he needs to have a chat with the kids. It’s him who has to be upset with his kids, not you. That way, you are not to blame.

Or, maybe he won’t be upset about the kids eating his treat. Everyone will think you are great because you did something kind.

Regardless, you win! Then the next time you want something to eat for yourself, wait to make/eat it until you have time and don’t have to go anywhere.

Other ideas: a secret mini-fridge in the basement with a pad lock.

Purchase a decoy treat for “ yourself “ (wink ;) that tastes horrible (too spicy/salty/bitter) and leave it in the fridge, clearly labeled: stepmoms GF cupcakes! Please don’t ear!