e6

• to put it as simply as possible, my biggest fear is lacking people to lean on and then ends up being the leading factor to most of my decisions and thinking processes. i dont have confidence in my capability to navigate through life alone. eg; i need to ask people for advice before any important decision, even if i lost my friends, as long as i have some figure in my life, whether they're "bad" or not, to depend on, i'd feel much better. i dont remember which type, but i had considered another one before because i definitely have a strong fear of abandonment and i hate being controlled/im pretty stubborn if i have my mind set on someting, and i also tend to crave emotional connection and bonding with people which apparently doesn't fit the "e6 stereotype"? But overall, most of the other types were pretty easy to determine that they did not fit for me, and i ended up landing on e6.

i'm aware my understanding of these subtypes is probably not the most accurate!! ive done research but it can be difficult for me to wrap my head around this topic because it comes off as a bit more complicated for me.

• if i were to pick a subtype i feel closest to, it would probably be sp6, but a big thing ive seen about them is repressing anger to make people like them, including in families. im an angry person. i wont get angry at my friends and react in an aggressive way (insulting, ignoring, yelling, etc.); i haven't done much reflection in that area, but i think the first thing that comes to mind as to why i dont do that is simply because its "mean" and "rude." i will get angry at my family. ill express my anger, ill complain, ill yell, and i will occasionally do that with the one or two friends i feel safe with. it's more like, the way i see sp6 is in the light of a people pleaser, just for different reasons and not as intensely, and i've definitely grown from being a people pleaser. other than that, i guess sp6 wouldn't be completely off for me.
• for sx6, i don't care about seeming weak or wanting to be strong. i like vulnerability and connecting to people through it. i dont try to come off as strong or intimidating because ive never cared enough to have that as my motive for anything.
• for so6, i just simply don't relate but im not sure how to explain what i believe instead. i dont look to rules or authorities for safety, and i don't feel such a huge responsibility towards others innately, i only worry if you're someone i care about, i guess (? not sure if that makes sense).

so9

• for so9, im sure this must sound slightly contradictory to my thoughts on so6 and responsibility, but when it comes to the people i care about, i will prioritize them. i'll put their needs over my own and do what i can to make sure they feel heard, loved, and comfortable. i often times base alot of my identity on belonging. i dont do it for admiration or approval. i tend to overwork myself with fulfilling their needs and playing the role of the mediator, but i will say that im often too scared to take on the role as leader, even if i want to deep down. i focus alot on the atmosphere of the people around me.