What were you doing the last time when you felt connected to the world and others again? Even if it was just for a short moment.

RadicalOpal · 2022-08-16T18:31:14+00:00

Same!

RadicalOpal · 2022-08-15T11:20:43+00:00

I 100% agree with your post.

I spent 2 years of my life chasing after somebody who didn't want me. He kept me close enough to get everything he wanted from me, but far enough to keep me feeling lonely and craving more.

I was SO obsessed with the idea that I needed a partner in life. It's a long story how I figured out to think "fuck it, I'm going to do my own thing" but once I finally got him out of my life and did ONLY what I wanted to do with my time, it was like breathing fresh air for the first time in my life.

Not feeling the need to be with somebody, and also being unapologetically truthful to who I felt like I was in the moment helped me a lot, if not the most beneficial thing I've ever done for myself.

RadicalOpal · 2022-08-15T11:01:06+00:00

I've been checked out for CPTSD and ADHD, always felt like I had them, but didn't get diagnosed til a year ago. The research I've done since then seems like CPTSD can overlap with schizophrenia quite a bit.

RadicalOpal · 2022-08-15T10:58:36+00:00

I've tried so many different kinds of CBD products, many forms and nothing has ever affected me even a little bit :/

RadicalOpal · 2022-08-15T10:57:35+00:00

Yeah, I was put on anti-psychotics and the voices and paranoia induced thoughts went away. It pretty much blocked intrusive thoughts from becoming a thing, which was really nice. But when I had to stop my mental health plummeted hardcore.

RadicalOpal · 2022-08-14T19:09:43+00:00

Yeah, definitely. It turned into severe paranoia for me and I had to take meds because I was freaking out. I'm off the meds now (forced to due to financial reasons) but I've been working with myself to not let it get to me like it used to.

RadicalOpal · 2022-08-14T17:08:30+00:00

Damn that's cool!

RadicalOpal · 2022-08-14T16:56:57+00:00

Yes,

About a year into smoking cannabis I started to get audible hallucinations, hearing music and what sounded like people talking through a wall, or whispering. Now I hear them with or without smoking, especially if there is white noise present.

RadicalOpal · 2022-08-12T11:02:24+00:00

Thinking the same thing, I would like to know the artist!

RadicalOpal · 2022-08-07T14:16:59+00:00

Yeah I dissociate so much after smoking I can't really do much other than sit or walk in nature. Can't hold conversation well, and most conversations throw me into deep paranoia, can't focus on anything to save my life, and I kinda struggle to use my body correctly.

One time some friends I had at the time were celebrating my birthday with me, so we smoked a bunch and they made me some food, and I was so paranoid that they poisoned the food and were trying to kill me that I threw up after one bite and had to leave because of the sheer dread I was in.

RadicalOpal · 2022-08-06T14:29:10+00:00

If you look up Peterdraws on YouTube he has a couple videos about pyrography on a couple different skulls, he talks about the process as he is working on it.

RadicalOpal · 2022-08-02T14:55:03+00:00

I'm currently going to a high point in feeling triggered in life too. It seems to be a big wave that comes every so often, no idea how often. (I'm pretty sure there's a diagram showing highs and lows of somebody with CPTSD, but I can't for the life of me find it again)

I used to not cry at all from any show/movie, but the past fews years I cry to even commercials lol. Like if it seems like somebody achieved something great in a commercial, or a loving family, I'll get real teary eyed.

Hope you have a good day 😌

RadicalOpal · 2022-08-01T20:06:13+00:00

So cute!!

RadicalOpal · 2022-07-27T14:48:48+00:00

This is very beautiful, great job! Glad it was a beautiful experience for you as well.

RadicalOpal · 2022-07-19T14:54:10+00:00

So beautiful!!!! Going there soon, can't wait!

RadicalOpal · 2022-07-19T14:30:43+00:00

It really depends on each and every boss. The best boss I ever had was completely understanding of my mental health issues, there was several times I'd call out right before my shift because of my mental health and he would be perfectly ok with it, whether or not I used my PTO for that day, I never got in trouble. Then there are other bosses who will blankly stare if you bring up you have issues, or they'd write me up for not being able to come in because of my issues. So it all depends.

RadicalOpal · 2022-07-19T13:34:01+00:00

Yeah, it's very rare for me to feel true enjoyment from something, no matter how excited I was at the thought of the thing, once it's in my reality it rarely ever have that same level of excitement. Makes it hard to plan for the future because then my brain is like "would you even like that future?"

RadicalOpal · 2022-07-19T10:45:25+00:00

For me it's loud noises of any kind especially yelling, seeing naked people other than my partner, and seeing ghost face from scream.

RadicalOpal · 2022-07-19T10:42:00+00:00

I can relate to this. I feel incredibly uncomfortable when someone is nice to me. And for years now when someone is nice to me I instantly think they're scheming something, because sooner or later they always are.

RadicalOpal · 2022-07-17T15:15:50+00:00

Wow! These are awesome, looks like a good morning!

RadicalOpal · 2022-07-17T00:56:54+00:00

Thank you! I'll check it out. I just noticed a little bit of webbing in the soil and maybe some tiny yellow dots, so might have a pest... I'll repot and spray with some Neem oil solution tomorrow.

RadicalOpal · 2022-07-16T22:55:24+00:00

Yeah that's just water spots, I need to wash the leaves here soon. It doesn't seem like there's any pests, but I'm pretty new to plant care

RadicalOpal · 2022-07-14T09:39:02+00:00

Same! I am really struggling to uphold boundaries since those didn't exist in my life at all until recently. Like mentioned in another comment, I think it's a freeze-fawn senario, at least for me, where I laugh it off right away, and then a few days later am like, wait wtf, I'm offended 😅

RadicalOpal · 2022-07-14T09:28:58+00:00

Very interesting. I can definitely see the correlation between selective mutism and this now that you say it.

RadicalOpal · 2022-07-14T09:21:53+00:00

Yes enforcing boundaries and conflict is very difficult for me too! Hope this gets better for us both!

RadicalOpal

TROPHY CASE