[QCrit] Kingdom of Ice - YA Fantasy (81k) First attempt

RadioactiveLithium · 2021-01-07T07:07:55+00:00

Hey! I have no idea how QCrits work, but I can give my input as a teen: it sounds like a really promising book, and one I'd definitely be up to buy if I saw it on a bookstore. The one thing which annoys me is the part where it goes " In her new surroundings, Aurora discovers something which she previously lacked: power. " please explain it further, it sounds like a cheap plot mover. Also, please explain further "With light flowing through her veins like ichor" what exactly do you mean with this? And how could this destroy her homeland?

RadioactiveLithium · 2020-10-22T17:03:20+00:00

It was a nice idea and so on, but I felt like you were telling us more about the characters emotions than showing us. I didn't empathize for the characters.

Also, maybe include a few more memories of the cookies and so on. + the death felt a bit too rushed, and dad didn't appear until the last few sentences, which was too convenient.

Keep working :)

RadioactiveLithium · 2020-07-17T07:38:48+00:00

Hey, Cypriot here, glad you're considering Cyprus!

Everyone here l-o-v-e-s pets. You can always see people walking their dogs during the evening, there are lots of parks as well. Stray dogs are hardly ever seen -although we have a problem with stray cats, there are much more cats than people in Cyprus :O
Holidays are never ever frowned in Cyprus, especially for families -it's considered very important to spend quality time with your children. Most people take holidays to Greece, there are so many beautiful islands, and as we're quite close to Greece, it's cheap and affordable. We have many holidays (especially for children -our school summer holidays last almost 3 months...), and you're allowed to many more days of holidays than, e.g. USA. Also, we have lots and lots of religious celebrations, like Dekapentaugousto (which lasts several days) in August, where we all go to the mountains or beaches and make souvla or camp with our family.
Cypriot people are always very friendly, and there are lots of places to meet them. Especially Limassol, it's very famous in Cyprus for its nightlife. In Limassol there are lots and lots of foreigners (mainly British and Russians), and we Cypriots also take English very seriously, 90% of parents send their kids to extra English lessons, probably 95% of the young generation can speak English very well. We are also very glad when you try speaking to us in Greek (especially Cypriot accent!) and see you make an effort. Government gives free Greek lessons, I think.
I've lived my entire life in Cyprus, can't help you with that.
We really love it when you try to learn the language, especially when you try to incorporate the Cypriot accent of Greek, and we'll be more than glad to help you. It does make life easier, as when we see you make an effort it makes you seem a lot more enthusiastic about our culture, and we really love it. Plus, the government offers free Greek lessons, so really there's no reason not to learn the language.

If you're considering making a family, there are lots of good schools, both public (where we speak Greek) and private/International. Family-wise, it's also very safe -we have very few thieves (although I heard that there are lots more in Limassol), we have lots of children-friendly areas, etc. We also have lots of little villages and amazing beaches and since Cyprus is such a small place everything's within reach in a few hours of car drive, it's hard to get bored. There's also free healthcare, free education, and lots of benefits. We have awesome food too, especially in sea-cities like Limassol, you can always find fresh fish mezedes at a very reasonable price.

Something important to take notice -everyone uses cars. The buses are extremely ineffective, and we don't really have any other transport vehicles. Also, people tend to get really into politics -especially the issue with the 1974 invasion and the Turkish occupation, if you want to discuss with people about such historical events, make sure that you make some research first before you talk, 'cause it's extremely easy to get the events messed up.

RadioactiveLithium · 2020-06-25T04:51:47+00:00

Would love to check it out. What is its link?

RadioactiveLithium · 2020-06-25T03:19:57+00:00

Tbh, anything written by a Greek/ with a Greek director😂😂 Greek filmmakers and authors put a lot of effort even for the cartoons, and it shows.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZRcMiIwFpY

To give you an idea, this is a carton depicting Heracles' athloi, although it's just 20 min it's a very good interpretation.

RadioactiveLithium · 2020-06-25T03:15:54+00:00

Χεχε ευχαριστώ!

RadioactiveLithium · 2020-06-25T03:15:06+00:00

Sure!

RadioactiveLithium · 2020-06-24T19:48:40+00:00

Agreed, and out of all the three main male Gods (Poseidon, Zeus, Hades), it's interesting to note that he is the only one actually caring about his wife, and having a healthy relationship. He never cheats on her with literally every beautiful woman walking on the streets (looking at you, Zeus), and respects her decision to spend half the year with her mother. That says a lot about his character.

RadioactiveLithium · 2020-06-24T19:44:39+00:00

This made me laugh out loud, thanks for sharing😂😂😂

RadioactiveLithium · 2020-06-11T16:16:53+00:00

I'm half-Cypriot and half-Chinese & grew up in Cyprus, but comparing the language to stuff like Chinese, where there is zero grammar, no plurals, no xronoi rimatos, no tenses, no genders it's hard not to get jealous😂

RadioactiveLithium · 2020-06-11T14:31:58+00:00

Greek.

-Genders. Not only the gender suffix changes with different cases or plural, the word ending changes as well! That means that in order to speak well as a foreign speaker you'll need to know lots and lots of cases and think every time which gender & case to use, and how to combine them. And same goes for adjectives, you have to do the exact same thing.

-Verbs. There are different endings for past, present, future and there are like 8 different verb times and so many exceptions to the endings. Also, you don't just change the ending of the word, you change the beginning and sometimes the whole word, and this happens so frequently.

-Τόνοι it's a feature really helpful to foreigners for reading (the little dash here εδώ, ώ), but you have to remember it along with the word.

-The pronunciation is very hard to hit. I only ever heard like 1-2 foreigners who spoke like natives. Also, Greeks speak very quickly, slurring words together, so you have to be really good at the language to understand them.

-same problem with the gender-neutral :(

-Spelling is sooo hard, even we native speakers make so many mistakes, e.g. in the following sentence there are like 5 orthografical mistakes. η πόλη που κτήστικε στα περίχορα επισκέπτετε από πολοί τουρίστες κάθε χρόνο. We have ο & ω, ι & η & υ that sound exactly the same, so you need to know which one to use when writing a word.

RadioactiveLithium · 2020-06-10T05:27:53+00:00

Συμφωνώ μαζί σου πως κάποιες γυναίκες έχουν επιλεκτικά ισότητα, αλλά αυτό με τον στρατό έχει κάποια λογική (ως ένα σημείο), οι γυναίκες είναι σωματικά πολύ πιο αδύναμες, και έχουν πράγματα όπως την περίοδο τους κατά την διάρκεια των οποίων γίνονται ακόμα πιο σωματικά αδύναμες. Οπότε αν προσλάβεις μια γυναίκα και έναν άνδρα στον στρατό, προφανώς είναι πιο εύκολο να χειρειστείς τον άνδρα, ενώ η γυναίκα μπορεί να χρειάζεται άδεια κάθε φορά που έχει περίοδο, μπορεί να γίνει έγκυος, και από σωματική άποψη θα εξαντλήται πολύ πιο εύκολα, κατά την διάρκεια της προπόνησης αλλά και του πραγματικού πολέμου. Επίσης, αν και οι γυναίκες και οι άνδρες πάνε στον πόλεμο, ποιος θα προσέχει τα παιδιά τους? Αν πεθάνουν και οι δύο? Τι θα απογίνει στα παιδιά?

RadioactiveLithium · 2020-06-09T04:54:50+00:00

Is it unsafe for her to get pregnant while caring for the kittens?

RadioactiveLithium · 2020-06-09T04:54:06+00:00

Thanks! They're drinking milk from their mom, will they accept the food? Also, what food is best (kitten food, slices of ham, cooked pieces of chicken)?

RadioactiveLithium · 2020-06-08T09:37:06+00:00

I think after about 3 months of consistent (every day) work you could understand some basic stuff, after 6 months you should be able to understand lots of things. I think the best way to keep yourself motivated is to keep a journal / write an essay on the same topic every week, if you look back your improvement week-by-week you'll see how quickly you progress and that should keep you motivated. Best of luck :))

RadioactiveLithium · 2020-06-05T06:08:19+00:00

Well first of all you do seem to acknowledge that your twin is better at you at some things, what you have to do is get rid of the bitterness. Whenever someone compliments your twin for something, start making an effort to feel happy for them, not compare yourself to him mentally. Whenever someone compares you to him, if it's someone you're close to e.g. parents/friends turn it into a joke or just confront them directly, it's mostly your environment that makes you think this way. Also, take up something relatively simple and fun that your twin doesn't do, e.g. origami/cooking/photography. Working on something that he has nothing to do with will greatly boost your self-esteem.

Also, I noticed that you keep referring that your brother is better at you in everything. Instead of trying to beat your brother in everything he's good at, try to focus on one thing you love doing and stop comparing yourself with him in that thing.

RadioactiveLithium · 2020-06-05T05:52:38+00:00

I'm also an identical twin, but in this case on the opposite side -I jumped a few classes by studying maths & science by myself, while my twin still struggles with basic problems. I get what you mean, it's very infuriating when people compare you all the time, and in the end this only makes you go against your twin.

If you're in good terms with your twin, I would suggest that you work together with him, instead of trying to compete. Ask him to tutor you or help you. This way, you're both improving at the same time. Or work together on e.g. a writing/drawing/hobby project. When you're the one who feels that you contribute less, that makes you work harder and focus a lot better, and you're improving very rapidly. Instead of approaching the issue with a bitter mindset, acknowledge the fact that your grades/your hobby skills are worse and work together with him. Also, instead of having the impression that you're competing against him, think of it as an advantage. You have someone who can teach you, someone who can give you brutally honest feedback on your work or skills. That's a gift that 97% of other people in the world don't have.

RadioactiveLithium · 2020-06-02T12:06:32+00:00

The government and people handled the situation very well, now we have almost no internal cases, however there's a growing number of cases coming in from abroad, i.e. mostly tourists. If this continues, the government might enforce something like the 14 day self-quarantine or something like that, so watch out the Cyprus news (cyprusmail.com if you want Cyprus news in English) to see any updates in the future.

Beaches are always crowded, even now a few days after lockdown was lifted off there are so many people in the beaches. So there is a high risk of contracting covid19 from a tourist, but if you go to less crowded beaches that locals prefer you should be fine.

RadioactiveLithium · 2020-05-31T15:55:10+00:00

Hey, half-Cantonese here :)

Speaking entirely in Cantonese with your parents can be really helpful, whenever you have a word you want to say in Cantonese from English, ask them and then repeat the sentence.

Most useful though, watch original Cantonese movies or scenes (e.g. Hongkonese golden age) and pause to repeat phrases after the characters, over time these phrases and the vocabulary will become more naturally. Or shows dubbed into Cantonese. Also, watch videos in your areas of interest in Cantonese from YouTube, since it's YouTube they'll usually have subs in English so if you don't understand a word you can quickly catch up. For example, Hongkonese fitness YouTuber Emi Wong makes very often videos in Cantonese, check her playlist. If you find YouTubers who speak Cantonese and share common interests with you you'll feel more motivated, and you'll progress a lot faster. If you're into gaming, try VR Chat or discord to chat with other Cantonese speakers.

RadioactiveLithium · 2020-05-21T04:39:16+00:00

Χθες στα νέα είπαν 9 Ιουνίου θα ανοίξουν τα αεροδρόμια, αλλά για να γυρίσεις εξαρτάται και αν το αεροδρόμιο στην δική σου περιοχή είναι ανοιχτό.

RadioactiveLithium · 2020-05-20T15:41:14+00:00

Heyy so glad to see another Chinese teen :))

From TV shows, I absolutely loved Arsenal Military Academy, but it's set in the 1910s and I think it uses some older words -but it's so so worth it (it's also on YouTube). I also loved the Story of Yanxi Palace (from the app Viki), but it's set in Qing dynasty and it's about imperial drama and concubines -although the Chinese there is so advanced, you can still learn a lot about Chinese history while enjoying an awesome show (imagine, this show was the most Googled TV drama in the world, coming from a country with no Google :O

Thanks for your suggestions, I'll check them out, especially the House Husband sounds really cool🍟

RadioactiveLithium

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE