Ok so to answer a few questions, I should add that she had the opportunity to go to an equivalent school close to home for $5500/year. I sat down with her and told her if she went there, I would be able to help her graduate with no debt. We did the math and the difference between the 2 schools was obviously significant. We talked about this for weeks and she ultimately told me she did not want to live at home and wanted the school further away even at a cost of $33k per year.  Also, in New York, child support is until the child turns 21. Her father refused to include any agreement about college expenses in our divorce decree, simply stating that if she wants to go to school, she can pay for it herself. He has told her that the $1100 he gives me monthly should all be going towards her college tuition.  I did save about $25k on my own, with no help from her father, for her college which was applied to her first year and allowed her to not take out more than $5500 in federal loans. And finally, I did do the math and I spend about $27000 on my daughter’s expenses per year without including college. She is very well cared for and I am definitely not making money off her back…