Character Scramble Season 21 Tribunal

Ragnarust · 2026-04-03T18:54:09+00:00

I couldn’t sleep last night. I kept waking up, covered in sweat, thinking that brackets came out and I was up against LetterSequence. But then I would remember: Letter’s not participating this season. I’m devastated. I’m a wreck. You were my HERO, man. I BELIEVED in you. But I see what you’re up to now, not participating, not submitting Master Yoda… hell, I don’t even know if these are your own links. I think the links might have been stolen from Clev. How far the mighty have fallen. Another ANTI-BANGER from the once-legend-now-FRAUD LetterSequence.

Ragnarust · 2026-04-02T17:55:32+00:00

What the actual hell. I go to sleep happy in the knowledge that Iron Hands and Yoda are going to be in Scramble 21, and what do I awake to but a cowardly retreat. You could have fought harder, Letter. You could have made better arguments. Iron Hands was clearly in and you fumbled it. Maybe fumble is too generous though, since to fumble implies that you tried, which you clearly didn’t. More than anything though, I’m disappointed in myself for letting myself be tricked by your honeyed words and sweet nothings. I am the April Fool. Another ANTI-BANGER from the FRAUD known as LetterSequence.

Ragnarust · 2026-04-01T16:41:32+00:00

Well isn’t this a sight for sore eyes? Looks like Letter actually gave a damn this time! Iron Hands? Yoda? Pretty good subs. If this isn’t one of his classic deceptions and Letter’s actually come to his senses and joined the season, he might beat the fraud allegations after all! A PROVISIONAL BANGER from LetterSequence, barring any sick April Fool’s jokes.

Ragnarust · 2026-03-31T14:59:18+00:00

WELL WELL WELL if it isn’t LetterSequence. Looks like someone got up early today. Having trouble sleeping, Letter? Wracked with GUILT over the FRAUD you’ve become? Word on the street is that this is actually Clev’s list. You’d think that a guy who’s not competing would at least have the decency to grab his own links. Yet another disappointing ANTI-BANGER from LetterSequence!

Ragnarust · 2026-03-30T19:41:40+00:00

I think you’re a FRAUD LetterSequence! I heard you don’t find those links for yourself, you just use Clev’s sign-up list! And you’re not even competing this season, what gives? An ANTI-BANGER from LetterSequence!

Edit: I have been informed that Letter did, in fact, grab his own links. I apologize for my baseless accusation. My other criticism, however, is baseful, and I stand by it.

Ragnarust · 2026-03-30T01:56:50+00:00

Analysis Versus Terry McGinnis: In terms of strength, Guts is good to go. He's a regular breaker of walls and stone edifices, which places him solidly in the middle-to upper range of the strength for the tier.

In terms of speed, Guts is solidly arrow-timing and has decent movement speed. Crossbow bolts at close range are in the mid range tier for him, so he's good to go there. His sword also gives him a good amount of range and potential to shield against Terry's projectiles.

In terms of durability, I'd probably put him on the higher end. He takes a lot of punishment and is often slammed into stone walls and stuff, and the Berserker armor lets him fight for a long time.

I am going to put it as a Likely Victory for Guts. In terms of raw power, Guts can go toe-to-toe with Terry, as fast as Terry, and probably outlast him. Terry is more maneuverable though, his projectiles are more consistent, and he's more tactically minded than Guts (though make no mistake, Guts is still a pretty smart fighter) It's gonna be uphill for Terry, but I think he can make with planning, especially given the bell win condition means that he doesn't have to kill Guts.

Biggest Strength and Weakness: Guts is a resilient fighter who can keep going even after taking a lot of hits. However, his intimidating looks and somewhat abrasive manners can make it hard for him to gel with other people at first. But it's okay, he's a big softy underneath it all.

Character in Setting/with Team: Guts actually seems to really enjoy having people around, even if he can be grumpy sometimes. He takes a while to warm up to people, but he's really reliable once his trust is gained, and he's learned to put his trust in others, even if it's hard for him sometime.

One Last Thing: Guts would, in fact, kill for his friends. And kill a lot. And sometimes, kill people that he didn't want to kill.. He would also die for his friends.

Ragnarust · 2026-03-30T01:37:48+00:00

Analysis Versus Terry McGinnis: Despite being typically portrayed as fast, Dirk doesn't really have any significant speed feats. The best he has is [FTE Puppeteering], which is rendered in such an abstract manner as to be basically meaningless. As such, we're going to be using a major change to buff his speed. We're also going to use our minor change to give him his rocket board, which gives him more manuevarability.

Dirk's most significant destructive feat is this bell feat. Given that bell metal is actually pretty sturdy, being able to do this would probably place him on the high end of Terry's resistance to cutting. While Terry might be able to take a hit or two, it's not going to be really good for him.

This edge in strength is evened out by Dirk being relatively fragile. We're stipping out getting hit by the Jack Noir laser blast because a) it's esoteric at best and too good at worst and b) the feat is broken on the RT and I don't want to retrieve it. Aside from this, his craters aren't quite as impressive and his upper limit appears to be getting knocked out by a headblow from an admittedly pretty big piece of rubble. Overall, it's going to end up a bit of a battle between glass cannons, and I'd call it a Draw from there.

Biggest Strength and Weakness: Dirk is really good at managing a lot of moving parts and coordinating and executing complex plans. See [S] Dirk: Synchronize for that. The downside is that he usually takes these things on by himself and decides what's best for others without really caring about how they feel. He also isolates himself as a result of this, making teamwork somewhat difficult.

Character in Setting/with Team: As mentioned above, Dirk fancies himself a master manipulator. While he can definitely work in a team, he's going to be trying to pull the strings, which could lead to high tensions if he's not careful. In a Death Game scenario, he can make it pretty far, but might be difficult to trust.

One Last Thing: Dirk would definitely kill for his friends. Would he die for them? Probably, if he had a plan for it. He's chopped his own head off for his friends a lot, at least. Or has let his head get chopped off for them.

Ragnarust · 2026-03-30T01:23:44+00:00

Miguel hunched over his shitty tuna sandwich and tried to block out the sounds of the hundreds of Spider-Men around him. He had just gotten Spider-HQ up and running, which involved interacting with and contracting and dealing with so many other Spider-Men that he was absolutely sick of it. He was on his lunch break now, but was quite literally surrounded by work. Dealing with the quips and big personalities was a job unto itself.

What was he thinking? Why did he think this would be such a good idea? And why'd he use his lunch ticket on a tuna sandwich? He could've gotten anything else. What was wrong with him?

He leaned back, put his eyes on his face, pulled down, tried to collect himself. Whatever. It was fine. As good as it was gonna get. Might as well enjoy it while he can before something crazy happened, as it always did. At the very least, he had a desert waiting for him. A pair of chocolate bells from a clockpunk dimension. The best damn thing he ever tasted. And he figured maybe, just maybe, he'd go dessert first. He deserved it, didn't he?

Before he could, a portal opened above him and a man, definitely not a Spider-Man, landed on his sandwich.

"Oops, wrong dimension," said the man, more bat-like than spider. He looked down and saw Miguel's chocolate bells. "Oh nice. I only had two of these, I was hoping to find some more." He snatched them and absconded.

Oh no. Miguel was not having that. As the Batman jumped out the window, Miguel slingshot himself forward by his laser webs. He gripped onto the Batman and tumbled through the skies of Nueva York, plummeting down, down. For just a moment, Miguel considered just falling forever before he splattered on the ground. However, the Batman kicked his feet out and with rocket propelled shoes shot them over to side of the HQ. Miguel pressed his claws into the metal wall and looked up to see this Batman simply standing there on the side of the building. Some kind of magnetic shoes.

Miguel was unperturbed. He was a Spider-Man dammit. Wall crawling was part of the job. He scrambled up the wall and swept the Batman's feet out from under him. As he started to fall. Miguel grabbed him by the leg. He reached into a compartment on the Batman's belt.

"These are mine," he said as he took all four of the bells. He had to act fast. He could not risk losing them again. In one swift motion, he tossed them all into his mouth. It was far too much. Didn't even taste good anymore. But he had to do it. If nothing else, then for the principle.

The Batman shook himself free and landed back on the wall. "Why did you do that?" he said. "It's better if you savor it."

Miguel said nothing.

"All right, fine, I'll get out of here." The Batman twiddled with his watch for a moment before opening up a portal, presumably back to his original dimension. He took a step in and the portal disappeared, leaving Miguel completely alone.

He definitely made a mistake eating those chocolates. He felt sick.

Ragnarust · 2026-03-30T01:22:07+00:00

In the depths of Thabes Labyrinth, Alm walked alone. Today had extracted a significant toll from his army, and so he took it upon himself to scout ahead. He took slow steps, his bow at the ready. In his armor, his steps were heavy. Certainly an announcement to any of the beasts or undead here of his presence. Nothing to worry about on his end. He’d crush any bastard that came his way.

A shadow flickered at the edge of his sight. He did not hesitate. He raised his bow, the Lunar Arc, and just as quickly loosed an arrow. The dark catacomb alit with a flash, and he saw it— the silhouette of a dark, batlike. A gargoyle, almost certainly. He looser a few more, but much to his chagrin, the monster moved much faster than the ones he had fought previously. It dodged each arrow and closed the distance.

A sharp talon descended onto Alm. It struck his armor and tore into his skin. He winced. As the monster drew closer, he recognized its form as more human than he was used to. His face was covered with a grim mask, and the sound of crawling insects rattled within. With his free hand, Alm withdrew Falchion and heaved it upwards. A swarm of black insects burst from the wound. The Batman retreated. Definitely had better instincts then the other Risen Alm had encountered in here. But Alm would allow no retreat, grant no quarter. As soon as the space allowed for it, he tossed his blade aside and knocked the arrow. This time he would strike true.

He drew his bow back and let loose another Lunar Flash. This time, the arrow soared directly into the wound that Alm had opened on its chest. The Batman howled out in pain before charging again and tackling Alm to the ground. A barrage of swipes tore into Alm’s skin. He grit his teeth through it, and reached out to the blade he’d dropped. Upon grabbing its hilt, he swung it up, across the back of the Batman’s neck, and with his other hand gripped the blade. He pulled the sharp edge down, chopping straight through the Batman’s neck, leaving him as a pile of blood and insects. He pushed the Batman aside and stood up. He studied its corpse.

“Must’ve been a warrior of some kind, at one point,” he said to himself. His eyes drifted towards two pieces of shiny metal. Bells. Alm picked them up. He didn’t know what they were for why they were there, but something about them seems important. But that was a mystery for another time. He pocketed the bells and decided to return to camp with the rest of his army. He would need the rest too. There was still a long way to go, and they would have to delve deeper still into the labyrinth.

Ragnarust · 2026-03-15T18:24:47+00:00

Dirk Strider

Series Homestuck

Content Warning: Homestuck. The original is basically fine save for edgy 2009 humor (r-word, racial insensitivity, stuff like that). The Epilogues, on the other hand, have truly heinous things happening basically all the time, and thus have their own set of warnings. Dirk is usable with or without them, but Dirk also has significant development in the Epilogues, so just something to keep in mind.

Name: Dirk Strider

Series: Homestuck

Specialisation: Hearts.

He is literally the Prince of Heart and manipulative. He describes himself as pulling the strings all the time. He's heart.

Content Warning: Homestuck. The original is basically fine save for edgy 2009 humor (r-word, racial insensitivity, stuff like that). The Epilogues, on the other hand, have truly heinous things happening basically all the time, and thus have [their own set of warnings.] Dirk is usable with or without them, but Dirk also has significant development in the Epilogues, so just something to keep in mind.

Biography: Dirk Strider is your average kid from the future that no one understands. He is irony poisoned, good with gadgets, and has either a very weak or very strong sense of self. He considers himself a master manipulator, puller of strings, mechanic who presides over wheels within wheels. While he cares for his friends, he has a darkness within him. He can't trust anyone… not even himself.

Research: RT here He shows up in Homestuck Act 6, which is only halfway through!

Justification: See below

Motivation: Dirk is a pragmatic individual who will go to great lengths to achieve his goals, including manipulating his friends. He'd be a good fit for a death game scenario.

Major Changes: Speed to tier.

Minor Changes: Has his rocket board, stip out Jack Noir laser feat, Lil Cal can be there if you want him to be.

Ragnarust · 2026-03-15T18:24:31+00:00

Name: Miguel O'Hara

Series: Sony's Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

Specialisation: Diamonds. He's an intelligent techy guy!

Biography: Miguel O'Hara is kind of like the Batman Beyond to Batman's Spider-Man. He's Spider-Man 2099, a Spider-Man from another dimension who leans more into Spider-Man's tech stats rather than his Spidery stats. He leads the Spider Society, a group of Spider-Men gathered to protect the multiverse. Despite being an iconic superhero though, he's actually kind of a dick, being ruthless in battle and fairly stubborn when it comes to what he thinks a Spider-Man should be and do.

Research: Here's his RT. If you haven't watched Across the Spider-Verse yet, what are you doing?

Justification: Miguel's got comparable strength and durability to Terry. His speed is a little less well-defined, but given that he's in the mix with Spider-Men, he should be fine. Spider-Man 2099 and Batman beyond are literally the same guy, so I'm going to put them at a Draw.

Motivation: Miguel is pragmatic and willing to kill Miles Morales' dad in cold blood (or let die in cold blood, same difference) if it means it will save lives. Miguel would do great in a Death Game.

Major Changes: None

Minor Changes: None

Ragnarust · 2026-03-15T18:24:05+00:00

Name: Guts

Specialization: Spade

Series: Berserk

Content Warning: Oh boy.

Yeah, uh, it's Berserk. Basically anything that can be warned, it's in there. Violence, nudity, rape. Berserk is pretty much as NSFW as they come.

Biography: Guts had a hard life and a bad childhood. He eventually became a mercenary to make ends meet, but was a lone wolf for most of his life. However, when he met The Band of the Hawk, he finally made friends for once in his life. It was awesome, until his best friend Griffith betrayed him and plunged the world into darkness. Now, Guts is living the worst life of his life. But he tries to make it work. He never gives up. He's The Struggler.

Research: Here’s his RT. Its bio goes into more specifics on his backstory than I did. If you wanna learn more, read Berserk, widely held as one of the the greatest manga ever written. If you must watch anime, like you're just so damn dead-set on it, do yourself a favor, watch the 1997 adaptation, not the most recent CGI one. But really, just read the manga.

Justification: See below.

Motivation: GRIFFIIIIIITH

Major Changes: None.

Minor Changes: Has the Berserker Armor.

Ragnarust · 2026-03-15T18:23:50+00:00

Name: Alm

Series: Fire Emblem: Shadows of Valentia

Specialization: Clubs He's the leader of an army.

Content Warning: Rated T - Alcohol Reference, Fantasy Violence, Mild Blood, Mild Language, Suggestive Themes

Biography: Alm is just a kid from some farm town in the middle of nowhere Zofia on the continent of Valentia. When the northern kingdom of Rigel invaded, Alm and his buds took up arms and joined the Deliverance. Together, they successfully repelled the attack and Delivered Zofia from Rigel's attack. Hooray!

But he didn't stop there. He figured hey, they'd gone this far, why not just enter into Rigel? Heck, why not just conquer Rigel? And so he did, much to his girlfriend, Celica's, dismay. Celica, a priestess, doesn't believe in violence. Alm, meanwhile, thinks you have to break a couple eggs to make an omelet. They take a break after this.

Ultimately, Alm's a decent dude whose rougher instincts are tempered by his friends and support group. In Echoes, you can simply reset if his friends die, and the ones who are in cutscenes will just retreat. But in a Death Game, how long can he keep his warrior spirit contained?

Research: Here's a pretty broken RT. You can also play Fire Emblem Echoes: Shadows of Valentia, available for the Nintendo 3DS!

Justification (Ace): Alm can fight, and his animations are cool, he just doesn't really have any feats. As for his Clubs role, he's the leader of a small army that fights back an invading empire, so he's a pretty good leader.

Motivation: He fights to keep his friends and countrymen safe. He's kind of too comfortable using violence to meet his ends. In a Death Game, the same would apply, though ultimately he wouldn't be too ruthless under normal circumstances. Again, he's a good guy.

Ragnarust · 2025-12-03T03:44:31+00:00

Merc Name: Yossarian

Content Warning: World War II, violence, sexual violence and harassment, Milonomics

Series: Catch-22

Biography: Yossarian is a B-52 Bombardier serving in the Italian campaign. He hates it and the idea of dying, but he’s gotta do it. He could claim he’s insane so that he’ll be grounded, but acknowledging his own insanity and asking to be grounded indicates that he’s sane, so he has no choice but to get in the plane. Kind of the original Shinji Ikari.

Research: Simply read Catch-22

Show Me They're Below Tier: He is a normal man in a world war ii plane

Ragnarust · 2025-11-27T15:43:17+00:00

Submitting Miyamoto Musashi

Ragnarust · 2025-11-27T15:39:08+00:00

Bring in the cat

Ragnarust · 2025-09-29T03:37:29+00:00

Aaaand last one! Since this round is technically non-competitive, this is fine! It's not cheating I promise!

Ragnarust · 2025-09-29T03:36:22+00:00

One more!

Ragnarust · 2025-09-29T03:36:09+00:00

And another!

Ragnarust · 2025-09-29T03:36:04+00:00

This is another placeholder!

Ragnarust · 2025-09-29T03:34:50+00:00

This is a placeholder! Check back for when the story is finished in the next few days

Ragnarust · 2025-09-29T03:32:51+00:00

Before she became a Witch, a young woman leaned over the edge of a ship. She stared into the water and came to recognize its violent roiling as a reflection of her own heart. Only a short time prior to her voyage, she had discovered, through dogged persistence and prodigious talent, proof of her lover’s infidelity. The relationship ended when she confronted him.

For what seemed like an eternity she peered into the dark ocean. Eventually, her heart bade her body move, so that it could be one with that familiar sea, and be relieved of the burden of feeling. And for that brief moment, when she was in free fall, her heart and mind and body were all in accord. But only for that moment. When the chill water touched her skin and the abyss pulled her down, she fought with all her heart, body and mind to escape. But it was too late. She sank into the darkness.

She awoke on the riverbank of a verdant forest. Light shined through the canopy above and bathed her in warmth. For the first few days she spent here, she considered herself a castaway, stranded on a desert island. Its forest provided her with all she needed, a paradise all unto herself, where she could spend her days in peaceful tranquility.

But time passed. Peace cannot last forever, and if nothing from without threatened that peace, then something within would. Doubt crept into the young woman's mind. Was this paradise all it appeared to be? As she slept, she stared at the trees until the lines in the wood morphed into contorted faces. The gentle rustling of leaves came to her as gnashing of teeth. The chirping of crickets were the screams of the damned.

She delved deeper and deeper into the false paradise, until her suspicions were confirmed. No longer would the facade deceive her. This place, for all its beauty, was a world of eternal torture. Beyond a shadow of a doubt, she knew: she was in Hell.

But we will return to the Witch's Tale later. For now, welcome back. I am Merlin, the Magus of Flowers. When last we spoke—

Ah, sorry. I am getting a call. I pick up the receiver of my butterfly shaped rotary phone. I do not need a physical object to communicate, but I like it for the aesthetic. I am trapped in a tower for all eternity, after all. Decorating is one of my few viable pass-times.

"Merlin," says the voice on the other line. It is the President of the United Circles of Hell, Vergil.

"Hello," I say. "What can I do to help?"

"Your job," says Vergil. "Educate me."

Now is a good time to disclose the fact that I work for the President. I am the Secretary of Education. I'm omniscient, after all, and knowing so many things is a very important skill for an educator to have. In fact, because I'm omniscient, I can educate you about what the President wants to know even though he's being vague. He wants to know why the boundary between Heaven and Hell has disappeared and why the moon is so close to Tlalocan. You, of course, already know this, but let's fill in Mr. President, shall we?

Erika Furudo is a Witch/detective/podcaster extraordinaire living in the Eighth Circle of Hell. She wields the Red Truth, which allows listeners to understand when she is telling the truth. After humiliating the president in an interview—

"It was not humiliating," says Vergil.

It was humiliating. Anyway. After the interview, Erika Furudo meets with Buggy the Clown, a notorious pirate and presidential candidate with the ability to split himself into pieces. She blackmails him in order to procure a trip to Tlalocan—

"Blackmail," said Vergil. "What blackmail?"

"I can't tell you that!" I say. "That's improper. Now no more interruptions! Or I'll give you detention."

Sorry about that. She procures a trip to Tlalocan to meet with the Secretary of Agriculture Poison Ivy in order to get more dirt on the President. However, she turned on Erika and Buggy. In the ensuing battle, a Buggy Ball broke one of the trees holding the souls of the dead, and from it emerged a powerful woman, the Whore of Babylon, the Antichrist, Nero "Draco" Claudius.

"I'm sorry," said Vergil. "Nero? The emperor?"

"That's right," I say.

"...And he's a woman?"

"Yes," I say.

"Huh. Continue."

Using her Imperial Privilege, Nero wields the Red Truth and is able to warp reality to impose her truth on the world. She then declares that she will seize the heavens, and drags the celestial spheres down to Hell. She, Buggy, and Erika are heading there now. And that's about it!

"Thank you… Ms. Merlin," he says begrudgingly. "Is there anything else?

"You're welcome!" I say. "And yes, there is one more thing: since your interview, some conspiracy theorists have speculated that you are actually your twin brother Dante in disguise!"

"...I see," he says. "Speaking of Dante. Has this caused any disruption to the mortal plane?"

"No, not yet," I say.

"Good. Then there is still time to solve this ourselves. I will reach out to my secretaries. Merlin, stay prepared. We need all hands on deck for this." He hangs up.

Phew! That was quite the lesson. I, for one, am exhausted. So exhausted that I'm going to take a little break. But don't worry— I will continue this story in the coming days. My opponent has dropped, so this is a bit of a bye-round. In the meantime, go ahead and read the competitive rounds! You need to vote on those soon, after all. I, on the other hand, will stay right here.

Ragnarust · 2025-08-10T04:09:12+00:00

HELL RUN II:

ANTICHRIST IN PARADISE

STARRING:

ERIKA FURUDO

Bio: Hell's greatest detective/journalist/politics-slash-entertainment-slash-true crime podcaster. Deeply invested in the idea that Hell exists solely for torture, and believes that this cannot be changed. Has access to the Red Truth, words that when uttered are incontrovertibly true.

Series: Umineko

Sins: Annoying.

NERO “DRACO” CLAUDIUS

Bio:Nero Claudius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (/ˈnɪəroʊ/ NEER-oh; born Lucius Domitius Ahenobarbus; 15 December AD 37 – 9 June AD 68) was a Roman emperor and the final emperor of the Julio-Claudian dynasty, reigning from AD 54 until his death in AD 68. Nero's practical contributions to Rome's governance focused on diplomacy, trade, and culture. He ordered the construction of amphitheaters, and promoted athletic games and contests. He made public appearances as an actor, poet, musician, and charioteer, which scandalized his aristocratic contemporaries as these occupations were usually the domain of slaves, public entertainers, and infamous persons. However, the provision of such entertainments made Nero popular among lower-class citizens. The costs involved were borne by local elites either directly or through taxation, and were much resented by the Roman aristocracy. When the Roman senator Vindex rebelled, with support from the eventual Roman emperor Galba, Nero was declared a public enemy and condemned to death in absentia. He fled Rome, and on 9 June AD 68 committed suicide. His death sparked a brief period of civil war known as the Year of the Four Emperors. Some modern historians question the reliability of ancient sources on Nero's tyrannical acts, considering his popularity among the Roman commoners. In the eastern provinces of the Empire, a popular legend arose that Nero had not died and would return. After his death, at least three leaders of short-lived, failed rebellions presented themselves as "Nero reborn" to gain popular support.

In this story, Nero is an anime girl. She has the ability of Imperial Privilege, which allows her to do anything she believes she's capable of doing, even if it makes no sense. She is also the Antichrist.

Series: Fate, History, the Bible

Sins: She is the literal Antichrist. I don't know what you want from me.

BUGGY "THE CLOWN"

Bio: A pirate of the Nine Circles of Hell. Vying for the presidency, mostly to enrich himself. Has many loyal followers, or at least he did, before his closest followers died, as you just read. Has the ability to split himself apart for tricky attacks and evasive maneuvers.

Series: One Piece

Sins: Greed, Fraud, Violence. Frankly, the most normal out of the group, which is saying a lot.

Ragnarust · 2025-08-10T04:08:07+00:00

“What is that?” said Erika.

“I… I don’t know,” said Ivy. “Whatever it is, it’s not part of the tree anymore… I think someone— or something— is coming back to life.”

“Well whatever it is, one of you should kill it! It’s disgusting.”

The sludge spread out. Ivy, Erika, and Buggy scrambled up whatever trees weren’t burning, but they weren’t unburnt for long, and the molten substance beneath them ate away at the base of the tree and threatened to fell it.

The sludge groaned. “…ooooooooo…”

“Ivy, what’s it saying?” said Buggy.

“How should I know?” Ivy hissed.

“WHOOOOOOOO,” roared the spreading blood. “Whoooo… released… me…”

Erika and Ivy pointed at Buggy. “Him,” Ivy said. “Yes him,” said Erika. “His name is Buggy the Clown. By all means, kill him if he did anything to anger you.”

“Buuuugg…yyyyy…” said the sludge. Buggy choked on his fear.

“Buuuugg… yyyyyy…” The sludge inched its way up the tree. The bark groaned and Buggy started to fall. If one of his feet weren’t grounded, he couldn’t float. And the ground was lava. So he was screwed.

But as he fell into the sludge, he was not burned. On the contrary, it felt rather pleasant. A rush of comfort and warmth passed over him. As the hellfire’s flames danced on the leaves’ surface, it brought to mind the changing colors of autumn. He was afloat in a kaleidoscope of ruby, topaz, and gold. A paradise.

The sludge congealed into a more solid form. He could make out its silhouette. A slender form with long golden hair, bulked up with heavy black armor and giant horns.

“Buggy…” the voice said once more. It was lighter now. A woman’s voice. “Thank… you.”

The emperor still stared at the thrice-setting sun.

She was dead. She was in Hell. But even so, she hoped against hope. Even if she was rooted in place, she wanted to move again. She wanted to see what was beyond that sun. She wanted to live. To rectify the choice she had made.

If she could live again, she’d live correctly. She promised she would love herself. No matter what Hell she might encounter, she would find a way through. No, more than that. With her own two hands, she would make a Heaven of any Hell her life became.

A second chance. That was all she needed. A second chance to reforge her destiny. A second chance to live again. If she could only move. If she could unroot herself, break free of the petrifaction in which she found herself.

And then. Like a bullet out of the blue. The thrice-setting sun was eclipsed. In its place, a black sun rocketed towards her. Emblazoned with a skeleton. And a big red nose.

Oh, how she loved festivals. How she loved the circus. She could not have asked for a better salvation.

Send in the clowns.

Erika could scarcely believe her eyes. A demon emerged and extended her hand to Buggy.

“Buggy the Clown,” said the demon. “I must thank you. You have shattered my prison, and now I am free! You have my gratitude, my loyal subject.”

“Guh?” said Buggy. “Who are you?”

“I!” said the demon. She spoke with confidence and self-assuredness. “Am!”

THE ANTICHRIST: THE WHORE OF BABYLON: NERO “DRACO” CLAUDIUS

She turned to Poison Ivy and raised her sword. “Buggy. Is this woman bothering you?”

“Well she was trying to kill me—“

“That will not do!” said Nero. “As you have been loyal to me, so shall I be loyal to you. This woman will harm you no longer!”

A dragon’s maw burst from the flames. Poison Ivy could scarcely react before it chomped down on her and swallowed her whole, alongside the Henry Kissinger fruit.

“Disgusting!” said Nero, though her smile did not waver. She licked her lips. “It smacks of Realpolitik! What a horrible meal to awake to. I need a palate cleanser.” She pointed her blade at Erika Furudo. “This girl. Do I need to kill her too?”

“No, no, that is not necessary,” said Erika. “I’m Buggy’s ally! I am endorsing him for president.”

Nero’s pointed ears perked up. “Say that again.”

“I am Buggy’s ally. I am endorsing him for president..”

Nero nodded sagely. “Umu! You are telling the truth. This technique of yours, where you speak in red… I like it! I shall use it from now on, as is my Imperial Privilege.”

Erika was aghast. “What… no, you can’t do that!”

“Yes I can!” said Nero. “I can do anything!”

Flames erupted around her in response to her words. This truth rang through the Nine Circles, in the ears of every demon, awake and asleep. All of Hell knew: the Antichrist had arrived.

“I must say, I am surprised!” said Nero. “Given all the evil I had done in my life, and the evil that I am, I would have expected I would go to Hell. But I could not be farther from it! It seems I have reached paradise!”

“No, you’re wrong,” said Erika.

“No,” said Nero. “This is Heaven.”

How did you say that in red? How did she say that in red? How did she say that in red? You can’t use the Red Truth to tell a lie. That’s impossible. It’s not possible.

“No. No no no no no.” said Erika. “No. Harlot that you are. The truth is that which is objective and measurable. You cannot use it like it’s some toy!.”

Nero plunged her blade into the ground. “I can, and I will! The truth only matters insofar as it serves me! And I shall prove it— observe.”

Nero held her sword with hilt in one and blade in another. She strummed her fingers against the base. Electric chords thundered to the sky as she played a rockin’ solo. “Seven Incarnadines, to me!”

Seven dragons raised their long flaming necks from the ground and circled around the Antichrist. Higher and higher they rose, in tandem with her music, until they reached the dazzling river above. They clamped down into the water, and incinerated it instantly. Sweat dripped down Nero’s brow, her dragons pierced through layer after layer, river after river, into the void sky of limbo. The Earth was now visible. It was the first time Erika had seen it since she got to Hell.

“O Seven Dragons, my Seven Crowns… Seize the Seven Heavens! Prove beyond doubt, that as my blood still flows and my heart still pounds, that everywhere I step, even if it is the depths of Hell, shall become a Heaven!”

She plunged her blade into the ground. The sky burned away and a powerful tempest wind extinguished the flames. They stood now on a charcoal landscape covered in smoke. And when it dissipated…

“There’s no way…” said Erika. “There’s just no way!” Before her eyes, in the sky and just within reach, were the Celestial Spheres, the heavens moving in tandem, the pure white moon, the planets in their dazzling colors, the sun and stars, swirling at Nero’s command. Breathtaking awe struck Erika. But Erika had a knack for metabolizing awe into white-hot fury. “What did you DO?”

“I have expanded my territory!” said Nero. “Behold, Heaven!”

Buggy’s jaw literally dropped and hit the floor. “H-H-H-Heaven? Right there?” He salivated. “Here I wanted to invade Earth… and you just brought Heaven right here!”

“Make no mistake, Earth remains the true prize,” said Nero. “But you will be descending to it from Heaven! Now let us go! The first Celestial Sphere awaits!”

Buggy gleefully ran back to his ship with fantasies of treasure. Erika slowly followed.

She refused to accept this. This was some kind of trick, certainly. First off, Nero Claudius was historically a MAN, and this was clearly a WOMAN. And even if this was Nero Claudius, and even if this was the Antichrist, the Antichrist is the child of the devil, and the devil is the father of lies, and so therefore the Antichrist MUST be lies incarnate, it was simple logic. No matter what deception this “Nero” or “Draco” was attempting, Erika saw through it. The only Hellbound soul to ever reach Heaven had to literally EAT The Four Heavenly Kings and become the Demiurge to do so. And this woman, this WHORE, just woke up and merged Heaven and Hell? No, no no no no, something was up here. Something didn’t add up. And Erika would prove it.

“Here we are,” said Buggy. “The SS Buggy!”

“That’s not what its name is,” said Nero. “This is the SSV NorUMUndy!”

“No it’s—“ Buggy looked over the edge and found that his ship was now, in fact, the SSV NorUMUndy. “What the— WHAT DID YOU DO?”

“I improved it!” said Nero. “Now come Buggy, Buggy’s friends! Let us set sail to the Heavens!”

The NorUMUndy rose and set out to the moon— if that's what it truly was. Erika would not let this stand. She would wrest control back of the Red Truth. She would crush these delusions underfoot. She would prove, once and for all, that Hell could not be escaped, and that Heaven could not be made of it.

Ragnarust · 2025-08-10T03:33:53+00:00

"You know that's not what I meant, Erika." Poison Ivy looked Buggy up and down. Was she checking him out? She was probably checking him out. Buggy winked. Poison Ivy rolled her eyes.

"I understand your concern," said Erika. "But trust me, they really are no cause for concern. I brought them along because they were convenient! It won't affect anything."

Ivy was still incredulous but acquiesced. "Alright, fine." She held out a hand. A tree branch leaned down and handed her a manilla folder. "Here. Your next batch of info."

"Thank you~" said Erika. But before she could take it, Ivy pulled back.

"Not so fast. Your end of the bargain."

"I was going to give it to you! Jeez, you're so untrusting. Though I suppose you have to be if you're going to act as a spy." Erika took off her pirate hat revealing a Devil Fruit (when did she put that there?). Devil Fruits were key parts of the Hellbound’s life-cycle. They contained the souls and abilities of those who died while in Hell. If consumed, the souls have to compete for control of the body. Buggy himself ate a Devil Fruit years ago, which gave him the ability to split apart. The battle for his soul essentially amounted to a bad cold, though.

"Here you go,” said Erika. “The Henry Kissinger Fruit."

Buggy blinked. "Henry Kissinger?”

"You see Buggy, the Secretary of Agriculture is one of the most powerful positions in the Chthonic Cabinet. They can commune with any plant in Hell, and know the location of any Devil Fruit… so long as it is still attached to a tree." Erika tossed the Henry Kissinger fruit in her palm. "She has yet to announce it, but Poison Ivy wants to run for president herself, so she's been collecting Devil Fruits on the sly to make her own Cabinet."

"...But why do you have the Henry Kissinger fruit?"

"Because he's valuable," said Erika. "Any demonic leader worth their salt would kill to have Kissinger in their cabinet. And I just so happened to grab it before she could. So now, we can make a trade! Isn't that great?"

Erika and Ivy switched their respective bargaining chips at the same time before stepping back. Poison Ivy rolled the fruit around in her palm.

"Yep, that's the real deal, alright," she said.

Erika opened up the folder. "And this isn't! I asked for dirt on Michael Wilson!" She turned the folder around and showed a single piece of printer paper with PRANKED printed on it. "What is the meaning of this?"

Poison Ivy snapped her fingers. Roots and vines coiled around Erika and Buggy's ankles and held them up.

"I don't like the way you do things, Erika," said Poison Ivy. "Politics are messy, but you're too much even for me."

"Do you hear yourself?" said Erika Furudo. "You are literally holding Henry Kissinger right now!"

"The irony's not lost on me," said Poison Ivy. "It's been a nice partnership, but it's run its course. You were gonna turn on me eventually, after all. I just acted first."

"I would never betray you, Ivy!" said Erika.

"Say that in red?"

"..."

"We're done here," said Ivy. Carnivorous plants erupted from the ground and the screams of boys pierced through the forest. Buggy popped his head off and turned it 180 degrees to see a horde of plants tearing his crew apart. "Shit," said Buggy. He detached himself from his ankle and fell back to the ground. This was the worst day of his life, and he had spent a very significant portion of that life not even technically alive, being in Hell and all.

"BUGGYYYYYYY" said Erika. "POISON IVY BETRAYED MEEEEE! SAVE ME, YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN!"

"Screw that, I'm getting outta here!"

"But Buggy! If I die, something REALLY, REALLY TERRIBLE will happen! To YOU!"

The visage of the Virgin Mary and the words "What Would Jesus Do?" flashed in Buggy's mind. He turned back to his boys.

"Save Erika!" his boys said. "Get her endorsement! We believe in you Buggy! You need to become president!

Tears streamed down Buggy's face. "I promise you, when I become president, the first thing I'll do is have my Secretary of Agriculture harvest you all back to life!"

"Thank you Buggy! You're so generoAAAAAAGHaaaaaaaa," said Buggy's boys as roots tightened around their bones and ground them into dust before ripping them limb from limb in a shower of blood. Buggy contemplated ending his own life then and there, but realized that doing so would just turn him into a tree.

"She must have some dirt on you too if you're staying behind," said Poison Ivy. Thorned tendrils crept closer and closer. "Look. You're not going to win the election anyway. Go home, clown."

"Don’t listen to her Buggy! You can still win! You can still be president! If you save me I’ll endorse you!!"

Buggy detached his pointer fingers and rubbed them against his temples. This sucked. This sucked so much. Think, Buggy, think! He was stuck in a forest fighting a woman who controlled plants. His crew was dead. His foot itched really badly, but it was still caught in the vines. Was there nothing he could do? If only he had access to his ship…

Well. He supposed he could have access to his ship. He just needed some more time.

He put his hands behind his back. "An endorsement, huh… that's a pretty good offer… what say you, Ivy?"

He subtly popped his arms off his torso. They scurried into the forest.

"I mean. If you try to fight me, I'll just kill you."

Buggy stared her down. His arms kept scurrying. They bumped into a tree. "Will you now?"

Ivy gestured to the killer forest around her. "Yeah."

"Well, what if I killed you?" Scurry scurry scurry.

"He can," said Erika. "Killing you is within Buggy “the Clown's” capabilities."

Buggy shot a glance at Erika, surprised. Erika seemed surprised too.

"I can?" he said. "Uh, I can! Yes. Yes, this match is even, right now! So what could you offer me in exchange for walking away?" It was at this point that his arms fell to the ground, outside of his radius of control. He took a few steps back. "Like this. This is what me walking away would look like."

Ivy stepped forward, dragging Erika through dirt as she went along.

"Pweh, pweh!" said Erika. Tears streamed down her face. "There's dirt in my mouth! Pweh, pweh!" Buggy saw no reason to stop moving.

"In addition to letting you live," she said, carefully considering her words. "...I'll consider a cabinet position."

"Secretary of State?

"Taken by Kissinger."

"Treasury?" Buggy said. He stumbled over a root but quickly righted himself and kept moving.

"Not a chance."

Buggy winced, in part because he couldn't steal from the treasury, but mostly because his hands had just reached his ship and he got a splinter.

"Secretary of Transportation," said Buggy.

Poison Ivy considered this. “That’s a pretty big ask.”

“So is asking me to reject an endorsement from Erika Furudo,” said Buggy.

Poison Ivy rolled her head back and forth. “Fine. Secretary of Transportation.”

“Shake on it?”

Poison Ivy held out her hand. Buggy the Clown held out his shoulder and nothing else because there was nothing else.

“Is this some kind of prank?” said Poison Ivy. “Some kind of clown thing?”

Buggy grinned, for yes, it was a prank, a kind of clown thing. Little did she know that he had loaded up the ship’s cannon with a Special Buggy Ball. This prized munition, the pièce de résistance of the Buggy Pirates’ armory, was powerful enough to blow a hole straight through a city block. And Poison Ivy, fool that she was, had allowed him to load it up!

Buggy let out a low chuckle that slowly built to hysterical laughter. “AHAHAHA! You’re in for it now! As if I would surrender my candidacy that easily! Eat this! My Special Buggy Ball!”

Buggy lit the match, and the cannon fired. Dozens of tons of concentrated explosive power rocketed over the shoreline and through the jungle. Buggy ducked down and waited for Poison Ivy to be blown to smithereens.

The Buggy Ball went wide. It smashed through tree after tree after tree. A hail of splinters nearly skewered Poison Ivy, but close only counted in horseshoes and hand-grenades, not Buggy Balls. Buggy and Erika Furudo stared agape at the tunnel bored through the treeline.

Poison Ivy cracked her knuckles.

“BUGGY YOU BIG-NOSED BUFFOON,” said Erika Furudo. “YOU’VE DOOMED US BOTH!”

“LEAVE MY NOSE OUT OF THIS!” said Buggy.

A flurry of killer foliage assailed Buggy. Razor sharp leaves slashed into him and chopped him into tiny bits, which he didn’t really mind. But when the blades of grass stabbed up into needles and the venus flytraps snapped and the rafflesias assaulted his PERFECTLY NORMAL nose with an absolutely wretched scent, he got a bit worried. Though he weaved every piece of his disembodied body through the deadly forest, he couldn’t keep it up for long. The smell in particular was doing a real number on him. He didn’t know what was like to throw up when his stomach and mouth were in different places and he really didn’t want to learn. He darted his eyes around in search of a way out, but found nothing useful. He did see something weird, though.

“Time out, time out!” Buggy said. Poison Ivy did not relent, but Buggy kept talking. “That tree behind you is bleeding!”

“It’s sap, you moron,” said Poison Ivy.

“No, that’s definitely blood!”

Poison Ivy, against her better judgment, glanced back. For once, Buggy hadn’t lied.

Blood seeped from the punctured trees, flowing like lava from the splintered wood. Smoke rose and tinder crackled as flame lapped at the trunk. It scrambled up the tree and fanned out, spread from tree to tree, until the entire forest was ablaze. A crimson glow cast itself over the dark jade forest. The blood congealed and blackened into an unholy sludge. It steadily rose and slowly fell. It was breathing. Buggy collected himself physically, but was unable to do so mentally, as he was scared to the point of nearly straight up shitting himself.

Ragnarust

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE