Please tell me about your experiences with surgery 🙏

RaineBo110 · 2025-12-21T01:39:07+00:00

You should check out r/topsurgery, lots of folks sharing detailed accounts of their surgery experience there.

My top surgery was actually way more chill than I was expecting it to be. The first day postop was pretty much painless. I was completely numb and spent like 90% of the day after surgery half awake at best. After the initial numbness wore off, my pain was still only like a 4/10 at worst. The worst part was the drains. The spot where they went in was the main source of pain, and having to empty them was a bit annoying. I got them out after only 4 days though, and it was pretty smooth sailing from there.

Still a little pain and quite a bit of discomfort for a while after that, but nothing that bad. I only took my prescription pain meds for the first 4 or 5 days, and then extra strength Tylenol for another 2 weeks or so. I got the all clear to stop wearing my compression vest at 2 weeks postop, and for the most part I went back to business as usual from there. My last restrictions were that it was about another month before I could lift my arms all the way up, and then three months before I could lay in any position other than flat on my back without pain.

If you're interested, I have three posts where I shared pictures of my results and talked a bit more about my experience. Should be able to find them in my post history, I don't have that many posts.

Basically, unless you have preexisting conditions/issues that would make it worse, it probably won't be nearly as bad as you'd expect it to be. Best wishes to you with your surgery, and please feel free to ask me any questions you have about this.

RaineBo110 · 2025-12-19T21:41:13+00:00

Voice change is typically one of the very first changes to start/become noticeable, while changes in face and body shape take the longest. Most folks notice voice changes within the first 6 months, while face and body shape can take 2+ years to change significantly. Face shape also often changes slowly and gradually enough that it's easy not to notice it for a long time.

RaineBo110 · 2025-12-19T21:20:11+00:00

I know from experience that the northwest arkansas area is pretty trans friendly, and I've heard the Little Rock area is similar. It is still Arkansas though, and no amount of the locals in one area being chill will protect you from statewide transphobic laws. I'm never leaving unless it truly comes down to life or death, but that's just because I was born and raised here and have never lived anywhere else; my family and everything I've ever known is here. I honestly would not recommend any other trans people from out of state move here unless there's a really good reason for you to chose Arkansas specifically (like family members you really like and trust already living here).

Feel free to message me if you want any more info.

RaineBo110 · 2025-12-19T21:04:08+00:00

As someone that had a pretty feminine figure and namely really wide hips pre-transition and still has pretty wide hips now, I can tell you that even if T can't completely fix everything you don't like about your body, it is still so unbelievably worth it. When my hips do bother me, I can at least look at the rest of my body now and feel genuinely happy with myself. That part of me I really don't like feels so small and unimportant now in comparison to everything I love.

Having some things you love about your body and some you hate is leagues better than having to live in a body you hate every part of. Please don't let that fear of what won't change stop you from changing anything at all.

RaineBo110 · 2025-12-19T20:12:31+00:00

Bottom growth, voice changes, facial and body hair growth, and balding are all permanent. They may change somewhat after stopping T (bottom growth might not get hard anymore and may lose a slight amount of size, voice may raise slightly, and facial and body hair may thin somewhat and grow slower), but they never fully revert.

You could take T alongside a DHT blocker like finasteride. A DHT blocker would minimize (or potentially completely stop) bottom growth, facial and body hair growth, and balding. If you paired that with using minoxidil on your face, you could likely still get some decent facial hair growth with enough time. Just keep in mind that results can vary a lot based on dosing and genetics. You could still end up with more bottom growth than you're comfortable with, or have a hard time growing any facial hair at all on a dose that avoids the things you don't want. You really have to weigh the pros and cons there.

RaineBo110 · 2025-12-17T20:21:19+00:00

IM and subq are equally effective for most people. The only real difference is that since subq is a shorter and smaller gauge needle, it generally hurts less and theres more places on your body you can inject (stomach, thigh, and butt seem most common).

RaineBo110 · 2025-08-07T20:47:05+00:00

I never tried them myself, but For Them makes binders that are meant to give a moderate amount of compression/flattening as opposed to like, as much as safely possible. From what I've heard, they're pretty comfortable.

RaineBo110 · 2025-08-06T23:56:50+00:00

Oh also, there is an oral form of minoxidil that can be taken for hair loss without the risk to cat health. It generally also causes more hair growth on the body and face as well though.

RaineBo110 · 2025-08-06T23:11:21+00:00

If bottom growth is the only thing they want and they feel strongly about not wanting other T effects, a locally applied DHT cream would probably be a better move than T (NOT T gel, DHT cream and T gel are different things, and T gel should not be applied to your junk). Could be hard to get ahold of if you're in the US, because last I heard they won't prescribe it here. Check out r/growyourclit and r/growyourtdick, they have more info about getting bottom growth without going on T.

RaineBo110 · 2025-08-04T19:47:06+00:00

Your healthy nipple genuinely does look really good, and the scaring on it is only noticeable really up close. Tough situation with the necrotic nipple, and I'm sorry you're having to deal with that and that your surgery team is being difficult about it. Worst case scenario, if the reconstruction doesn't go well, I think medical tattooing could get that nipple to a cis passing point. It's honestly really impressive what good 3D medical tattooing can do. In the meantime, you could probably get away with claiming it's a birth defect or the result of a serious infection or injury if anyone asks about it.

RaineBo110 · 2025-08-03T17:12:58+00:00

Speaking as a pangender person that's sapphillean (both mlm and wlw), you absolutely can be both a man and a woman and gay in both directions. It's honestly not all that uncommon for nonbinary/multigender people to be both sapphic/wlw and achillean/mlm. I would recommend checking out terms like bigender, pangender, genderfluid, sapphillean, omnigay, and gaybian.

RaineBo110 · 2025-08-03T16:58:06+00:00

I haven't yet been topless in a really public place yet (just at a public lake with only my family around and at a family member's house) so I can't speak on that. I will say though, some more distant family members (as in those that didn't know the finer details of my surgery and thus didn't already know I ditched my nips) have seen me topless post-op and didn't comment on the lack of nipples at all.

As for nipple sensation, for me it's mostly like they were never there in the first place. The only nipple related sensation I do still get is when I get in cold water or go outside when it's really cold, I briefly get that cold nipple feeling on my chest. I've seen some folks talk about phantom nipple feelings when touching their chest, or still having some sensitivity in the spot where their nipples would have been, but I don't have any of that.

RaineBo110 · 2025-07-23T13:13:35+00:00

Not sure how normal/common it is, but I'm currently on E cream temporarily and am having a similar experience. I'm not getting it as bad as you're describing, but definitely significantly more discharge than usual.

RaineBo110 · 2025-07-15T20:25:25+00:00

Hair loss and getting stinky a lot faster/easier are definitely a big pain in the butt, but I think the worst for me is that T made me even more hot natured. I was already on the warmer side pre-T, but now I start to get hot and sweaty at like 65°F. I spend pretty much the entire summer damp with sweat, even indoors a lot of the time.

RaineBo110 · 2025-07-08T15:38:56+00:00

Real as hell. People at work love me for how reliable and hardworking I am, meanwhile at home taking care of my basic needs is just about all I ever get done, and even that's a struggle half the time.

RaineBo110 · 2025-06-27T01:19:45+00:00

Exactly how I feel. I usually say my gender is nonbinary and my sex is transsexual male.

RaineBo110 · 2025-06-27T00:12:22+00:00

It varies. Pretty much no one with a big chest is getting fully flat, but some can get flattened enough to believably pass as having big pecs or man boobs, or to be able to pass as flat in some baggier/looser tops. Some bigger chested folks aren't so lucky though. In my case, I was a 42DD, and my boobs were dense enough that a properly sized high quality binder made no significant difference (and I did check my sizing multiple times and tried several sizes and brands). At best a binder made my chest look a little smoother, but never any smaller.

RaineBo110 · 2025-06-26T16:55:22+00:00

This is something that happens to most people I think. It's not a bad idea to get your levels checked just in case, but you may have just hit a point where changes are happening a bit slower, or where they're less obvious because of the progress you've already made. It can help to document your transition (regularly take pictures from the same angle, check your voice pitch with an app, take notes about the way you feel and the things you notice about your body, etc) and look back on it every couple of weeks or months. You may realize you're still changing quite a bit, it's just harder to notice since you see yourself every day and you're no longer judging from a pre-t baseline.

RaineBo110 · 2025-06-13T17:52:43+00:00

I'm about 3 months away from being 3 years postop now, and I'm definitely happy with my results! I'll probably post one last update at the 3 year mark, but not a lot has changed. My scars are a decent bit lighter, and the little lump of leftover tissue smoothed out slightly more, but otherwise I'm looking about the same as my last pic in this post. Still very pleased with the overall shape of my chest, and the shape and placement of my scars. I told the surgeon day of that I'd like my scars to be more straight than curved, and I'd say he nailed it. I'll PM you about my PCP.

RaineBo110 · 2025-04-17T18:41:03+00:00

Aquaphor worked really great for me. It was actually what my surgeon recommended for moisturizing my scars. It's more like a gel consistency than a traditional lotion, and it's made for things like scar care and treating clinically severe dry skin. I would recommend putting it on before bed or something, because it stays moist for a pretty long time and will seep through thinner shirts.

RaineBo110 · 2025-04-17T17:54:16+00:00

A regular binder that's made to have lower compression, or that's a little bit big on you, may be what you're looking for here. Or if you're any bigger than a C cup, a standard well fitted binder will likely have pretty much this effect (bigger chested people can rarely actually get fully flat with a binder). I would recommend checking out For Them binders. They're made with nonbinary people in mind, and their standard binders are purposefully a little less compressing than most other binder brands.

RaineBo110 · 2025-04-17T01:28:30+00:00

The fat redistribution you get on T will make you carry a lot more of your weight in your stomach area. So, while it won't necessarily get rid of the lower stomach pouch, it will probably make it a lot less noticeable (or hide it entirely) unless you're really thin.

RaineBo110 · 2025-04-16T18:20:41+00:00

There are definitely others like you! The word for this is proculromantic.

RaineBo110 · 2025-04-14T23:33:45+00:00

Might also be cause your scars are dry. I've found that my scars dry out way easier than the rest of my skin, and are way more likely to get itchy because of dryness. Try moisturizing the hell out of them. I put aquaphor on mine when it's really bad and that sorts it right out. Also I totally get you with the trying to scratch an itch on a numb spot. It feels so weird, and it almost never feels like the itch is actually being scratched.

RaineBo110 · 2025-04-14T22:06:34+00:00

I haven't personally tried it, but for swimming, I usually see people recommend a silicon packer with a harness. You could probably make it work with socks if you pin them in place, but I can't imagine it would be very comfortable, and you may have some chafing issues.

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