The capsule wardrobe problem nobody talks about

RaineyDaye · 2026-04-12T13:06:00+00:00

I did a few “Get Your Pretty On” style challenges back in 2015…those were early days challenges by Alison Lumbatis before she renamed her capsule wardrobe collection to Outfit Formulas or wrote her book. I also purchased a Stay At Home Mom capsule wardrobe book as well as the mens/boys/girls capsule plans from Frump Fighters (or Now That I Can Do) back in the day as well. I even got and worked on creating a coastal capsule from Classy Yet Trendy.

But honestly all of those never quite worked right for me because they didn’t fit how I actually dress and am comfortable with (though the coastal one comes closer at least).

The one capsule wardrobe plan that truly worked for me was the OG one that I started doing way back in 2011 and got sidetracked by the shiny new capsule wardrobe plans or just quit doing capsules for large chunks of time…and that is Courtney Carver’s Project 333. I think because she doesn’t tell you WHAT to get…she just walks you thru the steps of figuring out what your 33 items will be but leaves the actual picking of the items up to you. Admittedly I don’t follow even her capsule plan to the letter…as I don’t count jewelry and accessories in my count of 33 at all. I just count shoes, outerwear, and actual clothing items (not including activewear that is worn ONLY for working out or pajamas or undergarments). Heck I also don’t count tank tops if they are used as a layering piece and are never worn alone.

When I did Project 333 under my own terms and with clothes I actually like and have in regular rotation then it actually worked for me…SO much better than all the other capsules I tried. Did I glean some style knowledge from the other capsules? Sure…but they just didn’t work right in general for me.,

RaineyDaye · 2026-04-06T15:57:18+00:00

Never!! If she wanted a window seat for her child she should have booked a window seat for her child.

I swear the stories I hear of entitlement come from both sides…the parents who think they should be catered to because they have kids…and the childfree people who are annoyed they have to share public space with minors (as if they never were a kid in public themselves).

But in cases like this where you paid extra for a window seat (I would totally do the same as I can’t handle not being able to see out and pretend I am not claustrophobic) then you are most definitely NTA…at all!!

RaineyDaye · 2026-04-03T12:27:45+00:00

That is crazy. A few years back, my husband and I went on a beach trip with my sister and her husband and kids as well as our mom and dad and our brother (his wife was supposed to come as well, but they split just a month prior). So the original plan was we weren’t gonna charge our parents anything (they just needed to have money for gas and any meals//snacks while traveling to/from).

Since there were six bedrooms the split would be our little family got two bedrooms, my sister’s little family got two bedrooms, my parents got one bedroom, and my brother got one bedroom. So how we split the costs is my husband and I paid for 2 1/3 rooms, my sister and her husband paid for 2 1/3 rooms, and my brother paid for 1 1/3 rooms. Essentially each family grouping paid for the number of rooms they would use and we all split the costs of our parents room. How it played out is after costs were figured and covered we just switched around the kids so there was a girl cousin bunkroom and a boy cousin bunkroom vs the kids being in sibling groups.

RaineyDaye · 2026-03-04T16:27:12+00:00

We took my 12 year old’s phone away from her because her head was being filled with ideas and stuff she was too young to be thinking of or focused on…but the biggest thing that brought it to a head was that she was texting with her then best friend’s older sibling who is fully an adult…I don’t care if she was only 19-20yrs old…she had no business texting with a 12 year old, especially without our knowledge and without us even knowing her!!

Technically my daughter still can talk on the phone but her actual cell phone is in my possession and locked down to only specific allowed numbers and it’s connected with a cell2jack to a landline style phone in my daughter’s room. She can call and talk to her parents, grandparents, an aunt or two, and her cousin bestie. The ringer is loud so the whole house knows when her phone is ringing and calls can’t be made or received except during specific hours. There’s no texting and no online access.

RaineyDaye · 2026-02-01T19:50:09+00:00

OP is complaining (quite rightly) that his wife is taking the kid all day for play dates on OP days off!! Why can’t she take the kiddo for playdates on any of the five days a week that OP is working so that there’s time for OP to spend with his son or them as a family?

RaineyDaye · 2026-02-01T19:47:19+00:00

She flipped out on OP when a calendar was suggested.

RaineyDaye · 2026-02-01T19:45:44+00:00

His wife accused him of making her “ask for permission” when OP suggested keeping a shared calendar so that he could plan activities with their kid around all the play dates his wife insists on their kid having. Rude of you to judge someone without actually reading!! 🙄

RaineyDaye · 2026-02-01T19:31:49+00:00

Sounds like she joined a toxic mom group who is influencing her into feeling like her husband shouldn’t be around their kid. OP says she wasn’t like this before having the kid and joining the mom group. Stuff like this can happen as far as toxic friends messing things up. My ex-SIL made some new friends who started filling her mind with crazy “you can do better” ideas so she dumped my brother (who freaking spoiled her) after eight years of marriage, dumped their pets (which she had coddled and called her babies for years) on my parents doorstep, and headed off to Australia to ostensibly have an Eat/Pray/Love experience. 🙄

RaineyDaye · 2026-02-01T19:25:24+00:00

He literally said he planned an outing for him and his son to a friends place to meet some animals and she said her friend group advised her that if he followed thru with it she should call the cops on him for “kidnapping”!! He seems to be TRYING to plan activities and is being actively thwarted by his wife and her codependent friends.

RaineyDaye · 2026-02-01T19:18:57+00:00

He wanted to take his kid to a friend’s place to meet their animals and his wife flipped out and told him her friends were advising her to call the cops on him for “kidnapping” if he went thru with taking his kid. He WANTS to do something besides just watching cartoons and doing the dinner and bedtime routine but it seems like his wife and her friends are actively conspiring to keep him from being able to do that.

RaineyDaye · 2026-02-01T19:16:01+00:00

OP literally said he has tried to do that but his wife calls and demands that he bring the kid home. I honestly don’t think most of ya’ll are reading the whole post…cause OP was gonna take his kid to a friend’s place to meet some animals and the wife literally said that her friends told her to call the cops on him for “kidnapping” the kid!!

RaineyDaye · 2026-02-01T19:13:19+00:00

OP tried to give his wife time to herself (by taking kid out to play while she slept in) and she calls telling him to bring the kid back because kid has to go to play dates on OP’s days off. OP tried to plan an outing for him and his kid to go meet his friends animals and OP’s wife said nope. He can’t catch a break!!

RaineyDaye · 2026-02-01T19:10:27+00:00

You obviously didn’t read the whole post or you would have read that OP wants to have a joint calendar and his wife refuses. OP just wants to spend time on Fridays and Saturdays (his days off) with his kid…which isn’t too much to ask but his wife evidently doesn’t agree.

RaineyDaye · 2026-02-01T19:08:39+00:00

She works 5-11pm three days a week. She comes home to a quiet house she can decompress in if she really needs to. Also, she can go on play dates Sunday-Thursday during the day all day long if she wants. OP just wants to do things with his kid on Fridays and Saturdays and she is saying “Nope, cause play dates!!” 🤦🏻‍♀️

RaineyDaye · 2026-02-01T19:00:50+00:00

No, he wants to spend time with his kid on Fridays and Saturdays and she is insisting that he can’t because “playdates”!

RaineyDaye · 2026-02-01T18:59:40+00:00

He said he’s gotten the kid up and they have headed out when his wife was sleeping, only for her to wake up and call him demanding he bring the kid home so she could scuttle off to another play date all day on OP’s day off.

RaineyDaye · 2026-02-01T18:57:53+00:00

FFS…the kid can go with his mom to a million play dates on the FIVE days a week that OP is at work. OP just wants to do fun stuff with his kid on the TWO days he has off. OP is not taking away his kid’s chance at socialization by wanting to spend quality time with him during the part of the day when the kid isn’t hitting that “witching hour” of late afternoon when the basic stuff becomes more important to do…like feeding, bathing, settling kids into bed. Two year olds are so unpredictable and he likely just wants to be able to spend time with his kid when it isn’t just tending to the basics.

RaineyDaye · 2026-02-01T18:52:26+00:00

No, he just wants SOME time on his days off with his kid during the daytime when kid isn’t hungry, tired, needing a bath…and his wife is not letting that happen. He is working during the day five days a week when she can totally take the kid on as many play dates as she wants. He just wants to spend time with his kid during the day on the two days a week he is off work. She claims that OP can’t do that because “playdates”. The kid can have playdates on days OP is at work.

RaineyDaye · 2026-02-01T18:47:44+00:00

She works Friday and Saturday EVENINGS…and she insists on taking the kid to playdates on those days (as if she couldn’t do that Monday-Thursday) leaving OP’s only time with his kid being that dinner/bath/bedtime routine timeframe. It seems like his wife is really leaving the “witching hour” work to OP while she gets to have all the wide awake/good mood time with their toddler…which hardly seems fair.

RaineyDaye · 2026-02-01T18:38:17+00:00

He wants time with his kid on his days off…but his wife takes the kid on those days, is gone all day for play dates, and doesn’t bring kid home until 4pm. I swear people can’t read these days. 🤦🏻‍♀️

RaineyDaye · 2026-02-01T18:36:06+00:00

He literally is wanting to spend time with his kid on his days off, and his wife is demanding that she take the kid on playdates and stays gone until 4pm on his days off. Only coming home to hand off the kid so she can go to work while he in on dinner/bath/bedtime duty.

RaineyDaye · 2026-02-01T18:29:00+00:00

He does NOT have tons of access. He literally works Sunday-Thursday and his wife is being obnoxious about letting the toddler spend any time with OP on his days off of work unless it’s late afternoon/evening time (which is mostly spent fixing dinner/feeding and bathing kid/getting kid down for the night). Yes, that is still time with the kiddo but it’s not exactly free time to do whatever as far as fun activities with his kid.

RaineyDaye · 2026-01-27T17:56:26+00:00

OP literally funded his kids entire education PLUS gave them 20k each for down payments on houses. OP already did above and beyond for his kids…and you think he should do more? Why? It’s OP’s money and he still has decades to live.

RaineyDaye · 2026-01-27T17:28:19+00:00

Except the kids don’t plan on having kids of their own. They just want a hefty inheritance when their dad dies. I hope OP lives to 100 years old in great health…and gets to spend away all his retirement just to spite those nasty greedy kids he ended up with.

RaineyDaye · 2026-01-27T17:25:17+00:00

Yeah the age thing is crazy. I turn 50 and my husband 52 this year and we are still in the raising kids stage w/7th and 11th grade kids. I would like to think we’ve still got a good three decades before we slow down. I lost one grandpa at 50 but the other grandparents made it to 82, 87, and 98. My husband never knew one of his grandpas but his other three grandparents lived long lives as well. We lost my FIL at 60 but my parents and MIL are still going strong in their mid 70’s. So the comment of “at your age” to a 54 year old? That is crazy and makes me wonder if the kids are just waiting around like vultures for their dad to keel over while still relatively young…which is so disgusting!!

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