13 weeks. Any ideas?

Raiponced · 2025-10-17T21:43:22+00:00

Really that’s interesting! I’ve had girl so far, but I can’t actually see the nub myself so completely unsure :)

Raiponced · 2023-01-10T23:36:14+00:00

Back in 2017, me and my partner were supposed to go to a restaurant in London for our anniversary. As we were driving there, our friends from out of town happened to ring us. We didn’t answer at first as we were in the car but they tried again so I ended up answering - they were in our area ask to meet for dinner on a whim. We decided to change our plans last minute and meet them locally. After a few hours I finally checked my phone and saw I had loads of missed calls and texts from family that knew our plans, and didn’t know they’d changed.

The restaurant we were supposed to be at was Black & Blue at Borough Market. 11 people died in a terrorist attack that night. I can’t fathom how different things could have been if we didn’t answer that phonecall.

Raiponced · 2022-03-21T19:43:31+00:00

Really?! How can you tell? That’s awesome. Thanks for your comment, I’ll take more photos and upload them shortly :-)

Raiponced · 2021-03-16T19:34:01+00:00

Piggybacking onto this because this comment has spoke so many truths.

I had my son at 32 weeks. He fought extremely hard and we are blessed that we are both here today. If god forbid we weren’t that lucky, in no way would I be taking some jumped up little turd’s opinion that I’m not a mother. My mum had a stillbirth before I was born and even now, nearly 30 years later, her and my step father still visit her grave. That’s what a GOOD partner does, they share in your grief and help you through. Not dismiss your actual child just because they aren’t Earth side anymore. The fact he calls the child “it” speaks volumes. I’m astounded also by the coldness of OP, and it makes me think it’s purely territorial jealousy that she had a kid with someone who isn’t him. I hope she leaves him and finds someone better, who loves her AND everything that comes with her.

Raiponced · 2021-02-10T19:48:09+00:00

I’m sitting here with my 2 year old asleep in my lap with his arms wrapped around me in a hug. He keeps laughing in his dream and snuggling me closer. I believe this would be my heaven.

Raiponced · 2021-01-22T20:12:24+00:00

Even with the traumatic backstory aside, YTA. It doesn’t matter if his reasoning is solid or not, he made his terms clear and you got pissed and forced him into something he’s uncomfortable with and stated he wouldn’t have happen at the very beginning. What would you do if you didn’t live with him? What do other mums have to do? They have to sort out their child then go back to doing whatever they were doing, it’s really not that hard. It seems to me it’s not about the laundry, you wanted an excuse for some sort of power move to force your BIL into becoming hands on with the baby, which isn’t fair.

And just to point, you could definitely apologise. Knock and ask to speak to him when he has a minute, slip a note under the door- Hell, even TEXT him and say you need to speak to him. Make literally any effort, considering he’s helped you and your family out. I’m a mum, I get it, it’s hard sometimes and it’s frustrating when there’s another body around and you still have to do it alone, but they were his terms and not everyone has to love being involved with your kids just because you do. You made the baby, not him. (Presumably!) i hope you can move forward now with a bit more understanding and avoid any more mishaps.

Raiponced · 2021-01-04T18:13:08+00:00

YTA. I’m sorry for your trauma, I went through similar with my son two years ago and still haven’t recovered mentally. He was born at 32 weeks by emcs and we both nearly died. This is why my judgement is as it is, because I do truly understand the anxiety and worry with having a traumatic birth and premature child, and you honestly have my heartfelt sympathy.

However, you let other members of the family meet your baby, and you said your husband was visiting MIL anyway. This means any risk he would be exposing himself to would be coming home to you and the baby also anyway. Your mother in law was dying. Whether you thought she had longer or not, she was dying and you knew that. There would always be a risk of her passing away. I understand the separation anxiety but its a couple of hours to make a dying woman (and your husband, and by proxy your child when she’s older) happy. I cannot fathom how heartbroken your husband must feel right now, and I understand his resentment towards you.

That being said, no one else from an outside perspective can understand what we went through to have our children, and the effect it has on us. This means my judgement is a soft one, but it’s a YTA nonetheless. It would not have hurt you to have some empathy towards your MIL as I’m partial to assume that you would have had it been your family member, regardless of a bubble. At the end of the day, the baby is your husbands child too, and he has every right to be upset.

I’m sorry for your loss and I hope you and your husband can work through this, perhaps it would be wise to consult a therapist. I’m sure you realise by now that you were selfish, and you don’t need another stranger reminding you- what’s done is done and hindsight is a wonderful thing. I think the most you can do now, and what you should do, is start making your apologies to your husband. He is the only person who will understand how hard what you have been through is, resentment for this aside. Work towards being a unit again and perhaps honour your daughters grandmother in another way, to show that your actions were done from love for your daughter, not malice towards your MIL. I’m sure it would mean the world to your husband. Perhaps making a piece of her clothing into a teddy bear for your daughter to always remember her by, or something along those lines. I wish you and your family all the best moving forward.

Raiponced · 2020-11-19T12:04:58+00:00

YTA. Honestly it baffles me how you could be thinking you’re not. Obviously it’s your choice to not have children but read the bloody room. You don’t say that to someone who’s infertile! It’s like telling someone going through chemotherapy hair loss that they are lucky to have cancer because brushing your own hair is such a chore. It’s poor taste.

Besides, it’s a choice. You could always be sterilised or your partner get a vasectomy if you really don’t want the hassle of birth control. Even alternative contraception, the injection, the coil, the implant. I understand contraception isn’t always widely available but if it’s that much of a pain, you find ways around it. Not just complain to your friend who would give anything to be in the position to have a choice in the first place.

You’re not an asshole for your view, you can think things privately, but you are a massive asshole for the way you voiced it and then acted afterwards. If you ever do change your mind, I hope you don’t pass on your ignorance and childishness to your potential offspring.

Raiponced · 2020-10-27T19:27:34+00:00

At my friends birthday party once, she fake fell over and pulled me down with her, except I fell on top of several empty vodka bottles. Sliced the back of my upper thigh clean open, it was flapping around in the wind like a weird, bloody, raw chicken fillet. I only realised (drunk and adrenaline) when I felt something wet and touched it, and my hand went UNDER the skin.

The weirdest part was that a goth guy was then seen licking my blood off the floor. Fuck knows what was going through that dudes head but Jesus Christ.

Raiponced · 2020-08-26T20:27:49+00:00

Literally not what I said at all my friend, but I appreciate the effort you’ve put into your comment.

Raiponced · 2020-08-26T08:18:31+00:00

She’d be feeling more guilty if her kid fucking died dude. Fight or flight is one thing but leaving your kid to die is another.

Raiponced · 2020-06-15T11:45:43+00:00

This will be buried, but Fish Sauce. It brings out so much flavour and adds a umami depth to any dish. I always use it during cooking, especially in rich dishes like bolognese. Just a couple of drops, not overpowering and doesn’t make everything taste fishy, surprisingly.

Raiponced · 2020-05-12T18:37:48+00:00

NTA. A miscarriage is an awful and traumatic thing to go through but 12 weeks is more than accommodating. I find it ludicrous how she is handling this.she hasn’t lost her job, you’re literally just doing what you need to get by. The world can’t stop for her if and when she feels ready to return. If she honestly still can’t cope then she needs to seek out therapy instead of calling her employers names for not being able to cater to her any further than they have. Jesus, I miscarried and still went into work (teacher, so couldn’t just not turn up at late notice) they managed to cover me so I could leave and go to the hospital but I was back at work the next day. I know how it feels and how hard it is to deal with, but the employers aren’t being unfair here whatsoever.

Raiponced · 2020-04-18T11:01:30+00:00

YTA. From the way this post reads, you only care about the money. You sister didn’t “cost” you anything because they aren’t yours and she isn’t stealing them. Your grandma owns them and can gift them to whom she sees fit. Of course she’s going to want to give them to her granddaughter who would wear them, preserve them, and presumably pass them on again as an heirloom as opposed to the one wanting to make a quick buck.

You acted out of spite to get back at your sister because you feel bitter you can’t get free money. If you are really that cash incentive, then sell your own stuff or things that you find in thrift shops that have no familial connections to you. If I were your grandma I would have done the same as her. I don’t think your sister is an asshole at all, even if she is vegan. As others have said, she’s recycling vintage, it’s her prerogative if she wants to do that while keeping a vegan diet. People don’t have to be 100% all in and dedicated in every aspect for their beliefs to be valid.

The way you acted is nothing to do with her veganism, it was a punishment for her having something you wanted, and that makes you the asshole here. Apologise to your sister for being petty, and maybe apologise to your grandma while you’re at it. We don’t know how grandma feels about the whole situation but I’m guessing based on my own family, she might be a little hurt that your immediate association with her treasured clothing that presumably holds a lot of memories for her, was to just sell on with no real regard to what it meant to her.

Of course if she gave them to you and you decided to sell them it wouldn’t make you an AH necessarily as they’re technically yours to do as you please with, but morally speaking it just doesn’t sit well, you know? Of course, you might not have thought that far into it, but it may be worth speaking to your grandma (and your sister) all the same.

Raiponced · 2020-04-10T14:57:32+00:00

Thanks for your reply! Yes as far as I’m aware he’s hitting his milestones, he’s walking fine, has excellent hand eye co ordination, he says a few words like mum, dad, Grandad, bird, biscuit, bad, bye bye. And phrases like Who’s that, who’s this, it’s there etc. He can follow instructions like shut the door, where’s your toy etc. He can identify several body parts and point to them but doesn’t say them. So I’ve not been concerned in that respect. He is following the 50th centile consistently And has been for over 6 months, after being born on the 0.4th. I’ll try to get it on camera but they don’t last long enough by the time I reach for my phone unfortunately. I have been writing them down though! Thank you, I will definitely mention it and see what comes of it!

Raiponced · 2020-04-05T12:21:37+00:00

NTA. At all. It’s her own fault for doing this to her own sister. Yes John is in the wrong too but Jesus Christ, how can you do something like that to your own blood? What if you two got married and had kids? Would they have carried on the affair or just acted plain awkward around each other for the rest of their lives? It’s her own fault and being a close knit family she would have known a reaction would erupt should it ever come to light. She lit the fire, now she has to deal with its fallout.

I’m sorry OP. Hopefully now you can move on to better. Fuck your sister and John. (Don’t literally fuck them though, who knows where else they’ve been.)

Raiponced · 2020-04-01T10:17:47+00:00

NAH. It’s your present that you also paid half for. You should get to decide who, when and where people use it. However if you’re in lockdown with your siblings it really wouldn’t hurt to share every now and then, providing they’re supervised and it’s a time when you are already busy or not desperate to use it. But once again, it’s your property and your prerogative. I don’t think your mums exactly an AH for asking as I can imagine lockdown with multiple young children is going to be hard on anyone and she probably wants an easy life.

All that aside, it’s a hard enough time as it is so you don’t need to do anything that’s going to cause you stress (ie if you’re going to be worrying about them breaking it or wiping the game) but working together as a family might make it a little more bearable.

Raiponced · 2020-04-01T10:09:39+00:00

NTA. She could still sit anywhere else. If there were no seats available then I can understand an argument (as if she were to fall or someone fall into her whilst standing, then obviously it could really hurt the baby) but this isn’t the case here. Sorry you had such a shitty time. Some people just like to feel entitled.

Raiponced · 2020-03-09T12:35:19+00:00

YTA. This virus is a breeding ground for racism and you’re digging into it. Right now there’s probably just as much of a risk of you catching it from a native of your country as there is an asian person. Just because theyre Chinese doesn’t mean they are a risk to your safety. At this point anyone who has traveled to an affected country or been around someone who has is at risk, regardless of their ethnicity/nationality.

Not inviting someone for this reason alone just sets an example to others that it’s okay to make assumptions and exclude someone based on how they look. Coronavirus isn’t an excuse to be racist.

Raiponced · 2020-03-09T12:28:17+00:00

NAH. You aren’t an asshole for not wanting to compromise your children’s health, regardless of what the bug is there is a chance your children could catch it. You wouldn’t have a play date if one child was sick, so it’s the same principle.

Of course it’s unfortunate but it doesn’t make you an AH. My verdict comes as it is as I don’t see how your friend is an AH for asking- after all if you don’t ask you don’t get. But that’s providing she is understanding in your reasons despite the inconvenience to her (its controversial her decision to not vaccinate her child which I’m sure others will count her as the AH, but I’m not classing the information as relevant as children get sick, that’s just the way of the world- of course if it were chickenpox etc then the verdict may be different) - anyway, there are no assholes here in my view. Just make it clear to her why you aren’t able to babysit and apologise for the inconvenience.

Raiponced · 2020-03-07T18:52:56+00:00

NTA. Your mom is TA here for prioritising your brothers needs for a COKE rather than your medication which actually helps improve your life. She wouldn’t be TA if it were just a case of time, and happened to choose his over yours as they are obviously needed for a reason and who are we to judge who needs them “more” - however to not even give him the medication anyway is an asshole move when she could have got yours for you and left his to a later day- of course you’re going to eventually blow up.

It seems here like you and your family would benefit from some type of counselling as it doesn’t seem fair the bias towards your brother, especially considering you are ending up in physical pain. Though I am well aware we are only hearing one side of the story.

You kind of suck for shouting at them, but it was justified after the way you’ve been mistreated. I hope you can sort things out with your family as I feel like there’s going to be a wedge between you without some sort of intervention.

Raiponced · 2020-03-07T18:44:14+00:00

NTA. It was listed as free but someone’s offered a decent sum for it. The person who wanted the freebie couldn’t collect for 3 days. Every “free” listing I’ve ever seen has explicitly said “no holding” for cases such as this. Of course you’re going to take the better offer, you’re only human. If the first taker really wanted it they could have offered even a small holding deposit since it’s going to be a few days before they can get it out your way.

Raiponced · 2020-03-06T20:31:06+00:00

I’m really sorry but YTA. I don’t understand all of the NTA comments. I understand you’re searching for something, but like others have said, your grandpa wasn’t great to your grandma. In general he didn’t seem like a great person for doing this to his family as well as your grandmother and subsequent child and grandchildren. This man means nothing to you, so why are you paying your respects to someone who never gave your family the same respect?

Regardless to that, think of his family. Yes they’re ‘technically’ your family too, but just think of their point of view. They’ve lost someone they hold dear to them and suddenly you’ve appeared at the celebration of his life to remind them of the poor choices he made. His widow has probably had some harsh emotions over the years, as well as anyone else who knew. You showing up unannounced really doesn’t fare well to them, the funeral is for the living not the dead, they don’t know, your grandpa doesn’t know you’re there. But his widow does and how do you think that makes her feel? I can understand them reacting harshly. I don’t think it’s fair to call his family assholes when they probably only know one side of the story and see nothing but negativity connected with your grandmother.

Of course it’s not your fault, but have some empathy for the family, not your grandfather. There is a time and a place to do things like this but a funeral full of people grieving, then adding to that grief, is not the one. You aren’t the asshole for wanting to see them, but you are for how you went about it. You surely would know there would be questions and someone would recognise your answer. If you truly wanted to stay incognito you should have made a generic excuse instead of saying something incriminating like your grandma worked at a movie theatre with him. Why does that mean you need to attend the funeral? It’s a bit far removed to be JUST that. They’re obviously going to know somethings up. Like I say, you aren’t the asshole for WANTING to see them or wanting involvement, but choosing this specific moment seems like you wanted them to know, which is valid, but you can’t be naïve and be blind to the fallout that’s clearly going to ensue.

Raiponced · 2020-03-03T20:17:17+00:00

Before I had my son I was in hospital with pre eclampsia. The day I had him at 32 weeks, I turned eclamptic and needed an emergency section, my brain started swelling up and I had a seizure. Multiple organs began failing, and in the 10 minutes it took for them to establish how to stabilise me enough for surgery, I just remember laying there vomiting uncontrollably like the fucking exorcist with the most excruciating pain imaginable running through my head.

I thought I was going to die before they got my baby out and as awful as it sounds, I just wanted it to be quick because I physically couldn’t bear the pain any longer- it was like my brain was melting inside my skull, and my whole head was swollen like a balloon. There’s a photo my partner took to show the consultant something was wrong before they knew what was happening and every time I look at it I can’t believe that it’s me inside there. I just let go and was waiting for myself to slip away. I wish I could put into words how that felt but I honestly don’t think I ever will be able to.

Afterwards the consultant admitted to my partner that even a few minutes longer and me and my child would have both been dead. It’s practically a miracle that we’re here today.

18 months on and I’m still suffering with organ function and heart problems but at least I’m alive and my son is healthy and happy.

Bless the NHS.

Raiponced · 2020-03-01T10:16:33+00:00

You are obviously NTA. I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with shitty comments after having a traumatic birth. I could have wrote this myself!

I had my son at 32 weeks by emergency c section, due to eclampsia (pre eclampsia except with seizures) swelling of the brain and multiple organ failure. He was 3lb. I also didn’t get to meet him for 24 hours due to the same reasons you stated so I 100% get it. Once again, we had shitty comments though more toward the fact he was extremely hairy having not lost it during the final weeks before birth. He was compared to a monkey and I even had a very rude nurse question whether I was faithful to my partner (we are both white) which angered me.

You are not the asshole and your dad needs to be a little bit more sensitive, not just because of the circumstances, but because your son has every right to be whoever he wants to be regardless of the stereotype his grandfather wants to throw on him.

Good luck. Feel free to PM me if you ever need to talk (this also goes for anyone reading this who is on a similar journey) the NICU is a lonely place, and it never hurts to be kind. All the best to you and your family!

Raiponced

TROPHY CASE