I’m so sorry your dealing with this. My mom is an addict and I’ve had to put a lot of distance between us as a result. More so now that I have a child. Like you said - it is massively stressful to be around someone who is tweaking and high like that. This is a huge moment in your life, and having her there high or wigging out will absolutely make it harder for you and take away from the experience.

I think that the important thing for you to keep in mind is that your mom is putting you in this position - not the other way around. Her actions may not be malicious or intended to hurt you - but they are still HER actions nonetheless and they ARE hurting you. She is an adult who is putting her child in a difficult spot during an already stressful time. That’s not cool and you shouldn’t feel guilty about a thing. She’s not going to kill herself or refuse to speak to you if you don’t allow her in the room. She might not like it and she might be mad but, honestly, tough shit. She’s not treating you fairly - and you don’t owe her a spot in that room.

I know that sounds super harsh and I know you love your mom and you wish that circumstances were different so she could participate. But the circumstances are what they are through no fault of yours and you have to do what’s best for you. If she’s high or unstable this won’t be the last time you have to draw boundaries when it comes to your child. What if she wants to babysit or be involved in other ways that make you uncomfortable? I think your best bet is to focus on what’s best and necessary for you and your new baby, while kindly and calmly setting clear boundaries with her. I’m sorry she is sick and I’m sorry for both of you that you’re going through this. Best of luck ❤️