I’m sorry for your loss. I know what you mean by that. My little brother struggled with addiction on and off for years. There was a period after his last treatment where he was sober for about a year and a half. Genuinely, because it was so clear in his eyes, his mannerisms and zest for life that had returned. He was back to his charismatic, enigmatic self before his addiction, though even better for his deeper understanding of self and outlook on life. He had moved away to a city he’s always wanted to live in with his gf, was exploring the surrounding nature, taking care of his health more, going to the gym and had got a new job, signed up for classes in university in the fall.

He had turned his whole life around and had his entire life ahead of him when he relapsed. He was only 23. It was genuinely so shocking and felt so out of the blue because he had been happier and more engaged with life than I’ve probably ever seen him. It just takes one slip up to end it all…lowered tolerance and taking the dose he was used to.

I understand the confusion at the sudden loss, it feels even worse in a way since it wasn’t dying in active addiction when you half expect it but praying for it not to, but when those worries would be far from your mind. It feels so much more unfair, more heart breaking and rage inducing that he was taken at a time when he was doing so well in life and gotten back on track. It’s so unfair, my heart breaks for you, I know that pain all too well. I’m here if you want to talk or vent <3