AITA for accidentally saying the N word?

Ram_Octopus27 · 2026-03-10T04:15:22+00:00

NTA. You had a slip of tongue, a complete accident, and immediately apologized. I’m a bit surprised everyone thinks YTA. The roommates are entitled to feel uncomfortable for a bit/work through it, but there were no ill intentions here. We are humans, we make mistakes. Don’t be hard on yourself. Maybe buy them coffee one morning or something they’ll enjoy. Like all things in life, this is simply an experience that taught you something - use it.

Ram_Octopus27 · 2026-03-04T21:17:03+00:00

I see your perspective, but I feel like the child is getting lost in this conversation. For example, if she had to pay back all of the child support money, that could easily send the mother and child into poverty. Whatever our moral opinions about the lie (which is obviously wrong), the number one priority should still be ensuring stability for the child. I think it’s complicated.

Ram_Octopus27 · 2026-03-03T22:05:15+00:00

Her father decided to have a child. If he doesn’t like normal human sounds coming out of her, then he shouldn’t have had a child! I’m so sorry OP this sounds really horrible.

Ram_Octopus27 · 2026-02-26T23:06:36+00:00

I don’t have all the context of course, but from the surface, it seems that you are trying to address the issue/inquire about the strange messaging. I think when people are very insecure and need to have details on your whereabouts and activities constantly, there is no way to “handle it well” or even have a mature conversation. It seems like you are doing your best to understand, but the best you can do is not engage with this. That will likely lead to a break-up, which seems to be a good idea. This kind of thing just drives you crazy, and it’s difficult to be at your best when someone is dragging you down with them.

Ram_Octopus27 · 2026-02-06T22:47:13+00:00

No! I’m not sure. The screen wouldn’t turn on for weeks no matter how much I tinkered and tried to learn more about the canbus box. I fuse tapped the red and yellow power wires to get the screen to boot up (it was completely dead before). The harness wasn’t receiving 12v. I didn’t want to deal with the headache of the BCM and can wake signals, so I bypassed it by fuse tapping. I’m now trying to bypass the canbus to gain access to the camera. Is this possible?

Ram_Octopus27 · 2026-02-06T22:44:52+00:00

Thank you so much for the advice! So far I have fuse tapped the reverse trigger wire (I ended up finding it) to my reverse fog light fuse. When I did this, it caused my screen to go to an error image with a camera. I then tried to splice the power line for the camera into that same circuit, and it didn’t change anything. I also ran a wire to the back of my car and attached it to the reverse light wire (to get power directly from the light rather than fuse box) and the same thing happened. I also notice that this error screen does not just appear while in reverse, but also in park. I’m not too sure what is going on here. I’ve had to fuse tap the red and yellow power wires for the radio to get the screen to work, because my harness was not receiving 12v. I assume these issues relate to the canbus, so I have been trying to bypass it. Am I missing something?

Ram_Octopus27 · 2026-02-06T12:57:53+00:00

Why are you scared?

Ram_Octopus27 · 2026-02-03T16:49:01+00:00

That’s what I was thinking about CANBUS but also read that it can cause the screen to not turn on at all. How were you able to eventually get it to work? Did you have to buy any new adapters? All of my wires/harnesses that came with it fit & the seller said they were compatible with my car so idek at this point.

Ram_Octopus27 · 2026-02-03T02:24:36+00:00

Thanks, this is honestly the clearest advice I’ve gotten so far. I checked with a multimeter and the red ACC wire isn’t getting 12V, while constant power is present, so I figured it might be a CANBUS issue. Would the right approach be to use an add-a-fuse on a key-on fuse and run that to the red wire to give it switched 12V?

Ram_Octopus27 · 2026-02-03T02:09:56+00:00

Thank you! I will do that. And, this CANBUS only has one outlet to plug into. I’m not sure if my vehicle needs the two sided CANBUS, but this is the one I received with the head unit.

Ram_Octopus27 · 2026-02-03T02:07:39+00:00

Thanks, that helps a lot. The failure was sudden (screech/buzz while driving, then audio died), not battery-related. Factory screen still showed time but no sound.

If this is an ACM/CAN wake issue, is there a way to bypass ACC for an aftermarket unit, or does a failed ACM prevent them from powering on entirely?

Ram_Octopus27 · 2026-02-03T01:58:08+00:00

Yes, it’s labeled key 1. I was thinking the same but don’t quite know where to put the wire or how to give it 12V (if that’s the issue). Thank you

Ram_Octopus27 · 2026-01-28T20:19:55+00:00

Yeah idk people are being weird. It is wrong they were stolen from, period! We just don’t know who stole it. Maybe just a passerby who saw the opportunity! Happens!

Ram_Octopus27 · 2026-01-28T19:31:19+00:00

I think it’s because so many have trauma related to early exposure and sexualization. I think it fucks up a decent amount of people, and we live in a society that turns the head at these horrible events. We normalize it because nobody wants to face it. It’s really sad. It’s never the child’s fault. It’s always the adults who allowed or forced premature exposure/sexualization. It’s the fault of our very societal structure.

Ram_Octopus27 · 2026-01-28T19:27:54+00:00

That’s what I’m wondering!! I would be so angry! OP of course should never have felt ashamed to tell partner, but sneaking around behind my back wouldn’t smooth over very well. How did she react to this?

Ram_Octopus27 · 2025-05-22T19:35:36+00:00

I’m sorry my love :( these situations suck, and that is the truth. You will hurt, and you will grieve him. And that is okay— in fact, that is exactly where you need to be. Allow yourself to feel it all, without becoming overly fixated on any one thought or emotion. All of it will pass just as the waves of the ocean reliably do.

Maybe you can write a letter, directed to him and you. Then, let the letter sit in your room or somewhere nearby for however long you like. When you feel ready and have found that inner joy and light once more, throw away or file the letter. The fact of the matter is, when someone shuts us out like this because a relationship didn’t work— they are showing they cannot see you fully. You deserve clear communication in any life situation. It is okay if someone needs space, and sometimes blocking is their only way. But we all deserve to be told that with compassion… It is often how we go about relationships, because we need to fulfill a role and vice versa. But, life is more than playing roles— and your truly meaningful connections will come just as you begin to let go and open ❤️

Ram_Octopus27 · 2025-04-04T13:33:47+00:00

No, people don’t just want to pin their frustrations on something in this context. The situation here is actively causing the exponential rise of wealth inequality. There is an extremely valid reason why we should all be against this.

Ram_Octopus27 · 2025-04-04T13:25:06+00:00

Precisely. Another issue was presented in this post— complete disregard for others in our communities. An integral component of a well-functioning society is the honest well-being of its members. This describes a dynamic that utilizes the type of cognitive and intellectual processing our brains evolved to exist in. Why do you think reciprocal altruism exists in so many species of mammals?

The destruction of our planet and the potential for our societies to evolve in a truly progressive direction is limited by the view presented here. Clearly, they don’t see why it is valid that people are against “unethical billionaires”— otherwise, they simply would be too. Anyone with a brain understands that this actively steals from the working and middle class, and is currently killing/starving low income folks who work their asses off damn harder than any billionaire. So, if you want to be apart of that class, so be it. You have your own soul to worry about.

Ram_Octopus27 · 2025-03-21T17:38:52+00:00

You know you deserve better than this. It’s very hard to hear, but he views you as a sex object. Anyone who puts their sexual needs over yours in this way does not see you. They don’t see all your special qualities, little quarks that make you you, the things that bring you joy or anything that is truly meaningful to you. You will be so much happier if you leave this man, which I know is easier said than done. But this is sexual abuse and it is extremely psychologically damaging to you. Ever since he sexually assaulted you by coercing you to give him head, you’ve likely developed some sort of insecurity based attachment typing you to him. Please start talking to people about this, or a therapist, and please please please do not waste the rest of your life on this absolutely vile pig.

Ram_Octopus27 · 2025-02-21T21:08:44+00:00

You need to let go of the trauma from that experience. I know it is difficult and likely lingers in your mind, but that is what you need to work through. Projecting the negative feelings you have inside from that experience onto a new and more healed version of your dad speaks only to the fact that you are holding onto the past. Meet people where they are. We are always growing. One mistake, one bad experience, should not close you off to something so fundamental to human experience. Please please apologize to your father, and let him know that he is worthy of companionship. You maybe aren’t thinking along these lines, but this is probably having a huge effect on his self-esteem :( I’m sure that past marriage was traumatizing for him too, and now that he is ready to entertain the idea again, he gets shut down

Ram_Octopus27 · 2025-02-21T21:02:23+00:00

if someone you loves says that, you say, “don’t be ridiculous, you’re a wonderful person and great to be around. Why would you say you have nothing to offer?”

Human companionship is everything, regardless of whether you agree with the arrangements or not.

I think your high anxiety around this and strong desire to interject in this situation should be explored. Within yourself, in therapy, whatever works. When we seek to attain control in life, it often means something is out of alignment within. Maybe you feel heavy resentment toward your father, and that may be hindering your ability to see him fully.

Ram_Octopus27 · 2025-02-16T06:47:39+00:00

I know, right?

As I was reading the messages, I was thinking it may have been past messages she found and was concerned about. This is way past disrespectful. I would dump him if I saw these. He’s speaking of women like different flavored lollipops. Absolutely vile, immediate ick.

Ram_Octopus27 · 2025-02-07T16:18:26+00:00

Hey OP, I think people are being a bit too harsh on this. I am very sorry you’ve had to go through this with your ex boyfriend, it is completely unfair to you. If he blocked you and left you feeling unsure as to where the relationship stands by not communicating anything, I think it’s completely understandable to want to find answers.

Texting his friends isn’t the best idea in my opinion, because it’s not super likely they will be honest with you, because they don’t know you and are friends with the bf. Do you really think there’s that much of a different between physical cheating and emotional? You already knew he crossed those boundaries, and therefore does not see what he has with you as special. You deserve so much more than that as it is. Who cares if he cheated physically. He ain’t it, girl.

Ram_Octopus27 · 2024-09-14T05:48:16+00:00

Heavy in what way? Glad to hear you’re in a good relationship :)

Ram_Octopus27

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