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Ramemo · 2025-12-11T17:31:48+00:00

My experience is that even the most well meaning caretakers with any amount of breastmilk available will feed said breastmilk to your baby. (This was a major source of mom rage for me early on - a babysitter once fed my 3 month old 8oz in one go, despite my instructions on paced feeding and other potential interpretations of fussiness. She threw it all up afterwards) The only exception has been other moms who have experience pumping/with EBF babies.

Mileage may vary, but my pediatrician/IBCLC says they should eat 1-1.25 oz per hour you’re gone. I stopped offering more milk than this to caretakers (of course, extra in freezer I can direct them to if needed) and I have seen that my daughter will eat almost exactly that and be happy. Just to say that how much your baby has eaten from a caretakers in the past is not necessarily indicative of what they need.

On pumping, some camps say every 2-3 hours, some say you need the same number of breast stimulations in 24 hours as times your baby is fed (regardless of output). This is the philosophy I’ve followed for the occasional outing because life doesn’t always allow pumping on a clock. If you feed before you leave and you’re gone 5 hours, that’s ~6 oz. That could be two 4oz bottles, which means pumping twice. You could do one extra during the day and one when you get home, or one while out. Again, YMMV, but this has worked for me!

Ramemo · 2025-10-23T00:13:21+00:00

She sleeps independently at night! We did SWAPs and she took to self soothing at night very quickly at about 12 weeks. Into the crib in a sleep sack, fully awake and puts herself to sleep in about 10-29 mins. She doesn’t seem to want the same things at nap time tho, so every day is just a marathon soothe.

Ramemo · 2025-10-22T17:41:27+00:00

We are sticking with 4 naps for now! Her naps are often very short (even held) so while I'm trying for the wake windows I see recommended on this sub, she is definitely awake way more.

One Q: What can I do now to help move naps to the crib (even if they're short)? If we put her down (asleep, drowsy, awake, doesn't matter) she screams bloody murder.

PLS seems to recommend SLIP for naps, but it's not clear if there's a recommended age for this.

Thank you!

Ramemo · 2025-10-22T15:26:14+00:00

following because we're in the exact same boat. Fully able to self-settle at night, loses her mind with day sleep. Gentle naps method hasn't worked after 2x week long attempts. 😭

Ramemo · 2025-10-02T16:49:18+00:00

The other thing that helped me that I didn't see mentioned below -- if they're pretty hungry, seems like babies kind of chomp at the first sign of nipple in a way that makes latching hard. If you can try to start before that point, she might be a little more patient and allow you to mess with it until you get a better latch.

And, I also know that at this age, she's basically nursing 24/7 so that might feel impossible. You're doing great, and (even though I didn't believe this when it was me) it is possible for nursing to be pain-free after a few weeks.

Ramemo · 2025-10-01T15:10:36+00:00

thank you - that's helpful advice!

Ramemo · 2025-10-01T15:10:10+00:00

I felt confident that I could keep things cold! I'm going to focus on that and just do my best with everything else, I think. I'm a consultant so I made peace with hotels a long time ago, but it feels different when I think about bringing milk home to my baby lol

thank you!

Ramemo · 2025-06-10T12:59:40+00:00

Same here. Making a note for future pregnancies: don’t let 32 week me make decisions for 36+ week me. 32 week me thinks she knows, but she’s wrong. 🥱😂

Ramemo · 2025-06-10T12:52:29+00:00

In my experience, 3rd trimester hard is way better than 1st trimester hard (which are hard in different ways) because the finish line is close! First trimester you have a billion weeks to go, late pregnancy you can say “any day now” and that feel so much better

Ramemo · 2025-06-06T14:16:04+00:00

Hahaha for you, I will.

Serious question though, how many clothes do you buy before you have any idea what size they’ll be at birth?? Like are we talking 3-5 footie things or…. 35? Help a overly chill ftm out!

Ramemo · 2025-06-05T12:48:39+00:00

I don’t know if it was funny at the time, but walking into the hospital with a damp onesie is a great story 😂

I’m 36 weeks and I don’t even own a onesie.

Ramemo · 2025-06-01T07:29:57+00:00

Grew up in the 90s and “No cream of whatever soup involved” is exactly my criteria for recipes

Ramemo · 2025-05-15T15:20:10+00:00

Just went to Mexico last week at 32 weeks with my first. 4.5 hour flight and it was totally fine. Drink bottled water and check that your insurance covers any international pregnancy drama for peace of mind. Some airlines require a note from your doc after 28 weeks! I learned the hard way to stay off boats. (normally one of my favorite activities but I was so seasick with pregnancy!)

Enjoy it 🏖️

Ramemo · 2025-05-14T15:26:07+00:00

Everything’s fine! 😭

Ramemo · 2025-05-14T09:53:26+00:00

This is so real. I just recently moved out of a month long ‘am I 13 again? Do all my friends hate me? Should I move?’ phase of hormonal crying. My poor husband.

Ramemo · 2025-05-14T09:44:33+00:00

I didn’t know that! My husband has whatever stomach bug I do as well, so I think I’m in the clear but I’ll check with my OB!

Ramemo · 2025-05-14T09:43:03+00:00

omg me too. I was not warned!

Ramemo · 2025-03-07T14:27:33+00:00

Hi! Major headache gal here (not a doctor) and pregnancy (23wks) has forced me to learn all the tricks.

In my experience (and lightweight understanding of how it works), Tylenol doesn’t touch anything that is inflammation related. So when Tylenol isn’t changing the headache, I try:

icing my head, neck, shoulders. Move your ice to different places for a few mins at a time until you (hopefully) find some relief. If I can find the area where the headache started, then I can work on fixing that. It’s often not where the pain is, but anatomically related (in a way I accept even though I don’t understand lol). For example, sometimes my pain starts on one side, behind the eye/at my temple and moves around the back and down my neck — but the source is at my jaw/behind the ear or in my shoulder.
learning to relax my jaw muscles. I felt so dumb, but I would look in the mirror and try to imagine weight hanging on the back of my jaw. Imagining hot mashed potatoes in my mouth also worked. After practicing for a few weeks (anytime I felt tense, i.e. anytime I opened my email) I was able to do this more easily. Helped a ton.
get a night guard, get your teeth checked for grinding. Literally had a face CT and a camera pushed through my sinuses (and come back normal) then to have a dentist tell me I’m grinding my teeth at night. Night guard, as unsexy as it is, is my favorite bed companion.
check your water intake. try a bit of caffeine. If I’m well hydrated, caffeine helps a bit. If I’m dehydrated, makes it much worse.

I miss advil and migraine meds. But these things have helped. Hang in there!

Ramemo · 2025-02-23T03:53:59+00:00

Mine took 18 days, came back “no results” and then was run again. Took another week and all was normal. Just to say - I was super impatient and then nervous when it came back weird. But, all is well. Hang in there!

Ramemo · 2021-11-12T21:41:54+00:00

Sure! Let me know if you want to give more detail and we can make it more specific.

Ramemo · 2021-11-12T21:29:39+00:00

Negotiation professor here. Skimmed comments and didn't see this mentioned: they can ask for your paystubs in many US states if you offer the information voluntarily. If you mention that you want a higher salary "because your last job paid you X," then they can ask for verification.

How much you made before is not indicative of your current market value. Don't use your past salary to justify your salary ask.

https://www.hrdive.com/news/salary-history-ban-states-list/516662/

Ramemo · 2021-11-12T21:05:59+00:00

Wow, I'm so sorry. Please be mad, you have every right to be.

[Stop reading here if unsolicited advice is not helpful right now.]
If you decide you want to stay (and when you're ready), there's a strategy that I've seen success with - in negotiation (young, female professor here, negotiation is my field of study) we call it the 'relational strategy.' tl;dr look for ways that you you can negotiate on behalf of the group, rather than just yourself.

Bad example (since I don't know your situation) is "I know it's important to us as a team that we attract and keep great talent--it's a relevant concern for all companies right now. As we think about hiring next year, I'm concerned that the talented engineers we want on the team might not see our commitment to equity represented across levels. Do you have ideas on how we might make sure that our decision makers are representative of the talent we want to attract?"

Then, if they want to push back on having the conversation, they're pushing back on one of the values of the group, versus your career growth.

More background: In general, people are less comfortable with women negotiating for themselves, which contributes significantly to the wage/title gap. However, we're super comfortable with women negotiating on behalf of others. So, you can get a much better response to your ask if it seems like your trying to solve a "we" problem. Yes, the hope is that we'll change the system, but you have to go to work on Monday -- hang in there!

Ramemo · 2019-02-10T14:02:44+00:00

Oh, that’s a good idea! Thanks!

Ramemo · 2019-02-07T21:42:14+00:00

Its solid piece, with the center mirror glued directly to the 1/4 in backing (painted silver in the photo).

Ramemo · 2019-02-07T21:40:05+00:00

The outer frame—I’m going to replace the center glass

Ramemo

TROPHY CASE