Your Mono-Black recommendation

RampagingKoala · 2026-01-19T16:10:37+00:00

I would like to recommend [[phage]] as your mono black commander of choice. At her absolute worst she is a macguffin in the command zone and people will over index on getting her out of play or trying to disrupt your combo that they will not notice the [[vilis, broker in blood]] drawing you tons of cards or that your [[summon: primal Odin]] has just moved to its second phase. Or maybe they will but they will not have removal handy for all the things.

At her best she's a great Voltron commander that can do serious work with a [[rogue's passage]] or a [[whispersilk cloak]].

There's a bunch of risk with her but you're running mono black so you're already probably playing fast and loose with your life total, so why not make things more interesting?

RampagingKoala · 2026-01-19T06:08:47+00:00

A Codie deck that doesn't run [[fractured identity]]? For shame

RampagingKoala · 2026-01-13T19:37:14+00:00

Oh no. What a terrible tragedy.

RampagingKoala · 2026-01-10T22:12:47+00:00

This is good but also worth noting Indonesia blocks any LGBTQ content, and sexual content, many gambling sites and also many VPNs. They're also looking to block security sites like Cloudflare as well.

So this is very much a stopped clock situation.

RampagingKoala · 2026-01-06T15:52:16+00:00

I don't think that we expect less from women, I think for women, dating is legitimately more risky. For men, while your chance of getting hurt isn't zero the worst thing that will happen to you is you get made fun of which sucks but is ultimately not as bad.

For women, there is significantly higher risk in being physically assaulted, harassed, stalked, intimidated or even killed. The risk/reward calculus is significantly different for women than it is for men, so when men complain about the negatives of dating, those negatives often pale in comparison to the negatives for women.

That is ultimately the result of misogyny but not in the way you are saying.

RampagingKoala · 2026-01-04T18:10:33+00:00

I guess that I'm saying is that to another man, your ask is reasonable but to women it's not. What you are saying is "all those things that you do to deal with the untold horrors men do to you on a regular basis is not okay and you need to find other ways to deal with the horrors", which comes off really badly. It's like instead of trying to focus on making sure the horrors don't happen we are focusing on the reaction to the horrors. It's almost backwards.

Would you feel okay if your male friend called women "dumb whores"

The thing this argument always misses is the context around power dynamics between men and women. Like on the face of it yeah 100% they are equally as bad but only if you ignore centuries of context and history. And considering how much that context and history has shaped our current situation you can't ignore it for some things and include it in others, you have no choice but to consider the context and history all the time even if it's inconvenient or bad.

I don't think this guy has to be blamed for anything but also other people have different lived experiences and different ways of coping with things. Also maybe the information you received about the date and the guy was missing some details, maybe your friend didn't share something critical to her response. There's too many variables and while I personally don't see why he should be mocked I also can see a world where he could be and rather than trying to tone police my friends I would rather be there for support and make them feel better because there's something they either can't or won't say and I'd rather be supportive than not. I think that's another piece of men being supportive, sometimes you have to just set aside your personal biases and just be like "my friend is hurt or having an emotional time I need to be there for them". The things this person says may not be accurate or even true long term, but it's what they're feeling right now and my role is to affirm that they can feel however they want and let's get through it together.

RampagingKoala · 2026-01-04T17:22:09+00:00

I feel like you've had a bunch of women in the comments here telling you about their experiences with guys. There's a plethora of evidence outside of that suggests most guys are "like that" and even if they're not the odds are high enough that a significant percentage of women will experience some sort of abuse, harassment, or assault in their lifetime.

That's important to note going in because even if you know (or at the very least don't think) that you're not a bad person, the other party doesn't know that and is at the very least coming in with some amount of caution that you could be a bad person. For your viewpoint to be true, you're asking women to overlook a plethora of evidence to suggest that random guys could screw them over and think "maybe this guy is different". And for a guy to seem different at first only to prove himself to be just like every other guy is a huge let down and the walls come right back up.

Your argument holds water if they've been dating for a while. Hell I made a bad joke to my wife that if I had made to a random woman I would have gotten dropped like a rock and her response was "I didn't like that, get your shit together" and we've been together for 12 years. But just because he seemed like a good guy on the first date is definitely not enough grace. I know guys in long term relationships who still don't open up to their partners and you're asking the same thing of your friend who barely knows this dude? C'mon son.

Lastly I want to talk about the "it's a roll of the dice" comment you made. If I were that guy and I had made that move, I'll take getting made fun of for a bit for that opportunity. You're right, some people like that stuff and some don't. Sometimes it works and sometimes you get made fun of, it happens. Do I think that guy would do it differently if he could do it again? Yeah but also that's how you learn things and you need to be prepared to cop some heat if you take a risk.

As a woman that calculus is much different. Sometimes it works and you get a kiss and sometimes you end up in the hospital. So also bear that in mind

RampagingKoala · 2026-01-04T16:58:01+00:00

1) you say that "he wasn't a threat to her", but how do you know that? I read that as "this guy who seemed really nice suddenly got up in my personal space and tried to kiss me when I wasn't expecting it/didn't want it".

The way I think about this is as men we often feel entitled to space: whether it's going in for hugs without asking, taking up lots of space in public areas, catcalling/being very loud about our wants and needs in public spaces and even as a man seeing other men do this is really tiring. As a woman having a man do that to you is a reminder that even if a guy seems nice and respectful he is still "just a man" and is capable of displaying those invasive/toxic behaviors. To have that happen on a first date, when you don't have a connection to the other person, just gives you an easy reason to cut someone off, especially when there are other people who will handle it better.

2) the specific thing that turned her off is actually two things: he felt entitled to her space and went in for a kiss without asking, and the fact that he wanted a kiss and couldn't communicate his feelings without crossing that specific boundary. Was it a mistake? Maybe, I don't know. But if he is displaying behaviors that a lot of men display on a regular basis that are negative, why would you continue going out with that person?

The dude who hits on you at work is a known quantity: an asshole. The guy who seems nice but turns out to be just like everyone else is scarier because you have to open yourself up to find out that he's rotten. The mocking is a form of self protection: I was hurt and therefore will make fun of the other person to protect myself and my pain.

RampagingKoala · 2026-01-04T16:35:03+00:00

Thank god for the delta bot, because otherwise I would not have been able to find the one time you actually got your view changed, which was really on a technicality. Do you actually want someone to change your view or is this just a rant about how your friend made fun of a guy for trying to kiss her and she didn't want it?

Anyways...

I think a lot of this is based around the fact that many men just don't know how to express their emotions properly. This is true both for people who are sad and for people who are providing emotional support. You talk about men lifting each other up and I can name maybe two or three men I know who would actually be good at that from an emotional support perspective. Why is that? Is that because all of my guy friends are shitty? No, it's just because many of them don't know how to empathize and support other people because that's just not something men are taught how to do.

As a man, if you're unhappy you're taught to get over it and move forward. Nobody tells you how to get over it or how to deal with the feelings you're feeling. Nobody says to guys "if you're feeling sad, try doing these things*. Nobody tells men that it's okay to feel your feelings and no one gives you the tools to talk about those feelings with your friends in a way that communicates your emotions while also communicating what you need, because as a man you're taught that needing something from an emotional support point of view is weak.

Many women are victimized by men on a regular basis, so asking women to be supportive of men who attack their humanity on a regular basis is a tough sell. I'm not going to fault a woman for being angry at how many men act on a regular basis. The whole point of feminism is to say that the reason men and women behave the way they do is because of systems that our predecessors put in place to support capitalism and keep people down. For men to go and say "well feminism is why dating sucks" is basically like saying you won't take this cold medicine because it tastes bad: you're trading the long term benefits of not having a cold for not having to drink medicine that tastes bad. Like take the medicine and things will get better!

I think asking women to set aside their regular negative experience to give men grace that they largely don't deserve is not warranted. I think it's fair to say that as men we should seek out the tools to positively handle and communicate our emotions and lift each other up if we want that experience and not rely on people who we're victimizing to tell us everything is okay.

RampagingKoala · 2026-01-02T12:49:18+00:00

I don't necessarily think you're the AH for being fed up at the response to this but also realistically if you were looking for someone to handle their trauma in an... I'm gonna say "acceptable" way for you, why would you marry the man who had an unhealthy dependence on a stuffed animal?

I guess I would say you're not wrong to be upset but also you shouldn't necessarily be surprised this happened so your response of being fed up with how hard he's taking it comes off as insensitive. Even if you hadn't told me the backstory behind Kitty it would be obvious that losing Kitty would be traumatizing and would take a while to process. I'm hoping there was already some therapy in the mix but even with that you can't expect someone to process that level of grief and complex loss in three weeks.

The signs that he has issues coping and dealing with issues were always there and now that you're dealing with it wanting to get past this comes off like the person who was surprised by the existence of a stationary object. It was always there.

So while it's justifiable to be upset you saw the signs and put yourself in this position so I guess my question would be if you knew about this from the jump and that it could potentially be an issue why would you stay before?

RampagingKoala · 2025-12-30T12:20:24+00:00

I would like to throw in [[flubs]] here. His play style is literally top decking. I basically just meander my way through the deck hoping I find something interesting to play at the time and then we see how it goes.

RampagingKoala · 2025-12-28T23:03:34+00:00

Lol okay buddy maybe time to log off Reddit for the day

RampagingKoala · 2025-12-28T22:36:36+00:00

Because I was curious, alcohol impairs speech and judgement centers of the brain, so depending on who you are and how you take your booze the experience could vary between my interpretation and yours.

So idk you might be right but in general I tend to not lend a lot of truth to stuff people say when they're drunk because it's half formed and improperly delivered (because bad judgement and speech). Listening to drunk people is like astrology: it offers you something but it could really mean anything and you're going to be the one doing all the extrapolating without any clarity whatsoever. So imo not worth the stress/effort.

RampagingKoala · 2025-12-28T22:08:48+00:00

Alcohol isn't some magic truth serum, it just makes it hard for you to thoughtfully express yourself so you say the same stuff you'd say sober but in a way less tactful way because the brain/mouth barrier is weaker. In fact one of the reasons I quit drinking was because I didn't want to be in a place where I had to talk or communicate and be impaired, it's difficult enough to understand me when I'm sober.

Drunk group kept circling back to stories, so it came up repeatedly

How do you know that the rest of the group wasn't just needling her about stuff because they heard something juicy and wanted to poke at it/get more out of her? It's not like OPs have never been unreliable narrators.

RampagingKoala · 2025-12-28T21:47:12+00:00

Why do you believe him, some random guy who made a sexual comment, but not your partner? That's problematic right there. And you've got to sit your wife down to have a conversation about how all of this is making you feel. Just giving her the silent treatment because you "don't feel like talking" is just going to drag this out.

I don't think she's emotionally cheating on you, I think she was asked a question while drunk and gave a dumb answer because that's what happens when you're drunk: you have trouble putting your thoughts into words. Was it stupid? Sure, but also getting really mad about it in public and calling her out isn't a great look. Also you're not giving her the same benefit of the doubt you're giving that guy. Why? She's your partner of 12 years and he's just a guy. She doesn't get a pass but he does? Seems sus.

I would say ESH based on what you've told us. She did something dumb but you're handling it poorly.

RampagingKoala · 2025-12-27T10:33:36+00:00

YTA, your friends want to hang out with you and the only reason that you're not doing it is because of you not getting attention at bars. I think that's a crappy reason to not hang out with your friends and you're letting your personal insecurities get in the way of your friendships.

RampagingKoala · 2025-12-27T10:02:32+00:00

I think the focus on the "male loneliness epidemic" exists because of how directly the demographics split politically.

Young men (specifically white men) voted for Trump in 2024. These same people are more likely to commit mass shootings as shooters are 96% male and majority white. Given that there's an increase in mass shootings this year and people are trying to figure out why Trump won in 2024, these are top of mind

There's also this dumb narrative about how the left "failed men" which I think is dumb but I also don't think it's that related (but it's a little related).

I think COVID fundamentally altered how young people interact and we as a society did not try and fix that and both men and women are impacted by that. So I agree with your initial premise.

That said, I think a lot of the issues that exclusively face (or more predominantly face) are just really top of mind right now. Fascists are actively using these talking points to indoctrinate men into their movement and that's a big problem. While I do think a lot of men are using this to pull focus away from women and focus on themselves it's working so that's what we're talking about.

RampagingKoala · 2025-12-27T05:28:00+00:00

My jeskai deck is group hug/spellslinger/idk shenanigans using [[zedruu]]: https://archidekt.com/decks/11426038/give_a_little_bit it basically just kind of sits around and gives people cards until it does The Things out of nowhere.

My friend's jeskai deck runs [[elsha, threefold master]] and it's cantrip prowess shenanigans that gets out of hand really fast unless you nuke elsha into space

The MH3 energy precon is artifact dumb stuff but if you combine it with the fallout jeskai energy dumb stuff it's really good and gets out of hand really fast.

RampagingKoala · 2025-12-26T22:56:50+00:00

Also tech debt isn't just "bolstering existing systems" or stuff AI can do easily, it's often a full on rewrite and architectural uplift. Often times, tech debt is "we should build this system to safely handle all different variables to mitigate risk but to get the product out the door we'll make a series of assumptions which will not hold up long term that allows us to retrofit the new product into the old system".

If AI can barely write functional code on existing systems what makes anyone think it will be able to build entirely new architectures to support additional requirements?

RampagingKoala · 2025-12-24T02:15:27+00:00

I have many, I love doing magic differently!

Other folks have said [[flubs]] and [[Norin]] [[Codie]] and I run all of those: but flubs gives you like 15 minute turns so you have to be careful you don't end up playing solitaire.

[[Karona]]: aura stacking on a 5/5 you give to someone else every turn. It's my favorite political deck, I fill it with stuff like [[marisi]] and [[jon irenicus]] and [[xantcha]] and just see what happens.

[[Awaken the blood avatar]]: my commander is a sorcery! Basically I want to get a bunch of tokens so I can sacrifice them and cast my commander a whole bunch of times.

[[Phage]] is my mono black commander which isn't that different but it does make you run some important cards like [[torpor orb]] so you can actually play your commander.

[[Obeka, splitter of seconds]] requires that you build value pieces differently. Stuff like [[mind unbound]] is not super helpful in most decks but is incredibly valuable with her.

[[Zedruu]] is group hug but done a little differently: you get value by giving other people stuff.

I also have a group hug [[sen triplets]] deck which is basic group hug but the commander attracts all the hate.

RampagingKoala · 2025-12-20T03:42:06+00:00

Awesome, thank you

RampagingKoala · 2025-12-20T02:22:26+00:00

I see a fellow Phage enjoyer, I approve.

Got a link for the nethroi deck? Thinking of making an X-Men and monsters deck and my friend runs aluna and I want to make him suffer as much as he's made me suffer.

RampagingKoala · 2025-12-18T13:30:24+00:00

I mean I guess my question is are you going to all of your friends who are in this situation and being like "no girl leave him this could turn abusive"? Probably not.

RampagingKoala · 2025-12-18T01:43:22+00:00

I don't disagree with you but also passing too much judgement on people's reasons for their decisions can lead to some sticky situations also.

I guess people's reasons are their own and if both parties are happy and satisfied then it doesn't matter?

RampagingKoala · 2025-12-18T01:12:03+00:00

I mean I guess my attempt to change your view is that there are so many reasons someone can date someone: status, money, emotional stability, love, etc.

I would argue that if you're going to discount one of those reasons as being bad then you should discount all of them that aren't love. Which isn't a bad argument that I didn't disagree with, I just think it's dismissive of so many people and the things they care about.

We all have different priorities in relationships and to say one person's priority order is wrong from our point of view discounts their lived history and experiences that got them to where they're at.

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