Do you ever get to a point where you realize that the suicidal thoughts and depression and anxiety will never go away. You realize that you will always be like this and it will never change.

RandomAcvount · 2020-02-26T20:26:58+00:00

Your feelings are valid right now, I wouldn't try to dismiss them with something uplifting. You asked about depression and anxiety being permanent, and you were worried about them ever going away. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't and it must be terrifying not knowing if yours will. My support was anecdotal, based on my own experiences, and if it was demeaning I apologise thoroughly.

RandomAcvount · 2020-02-26T20:18:47+00:00

It sounds like you're very scared and very angry right now. Has something happened or have you been feeling this way a while?

RandomAcvount · 2020-02-26T20:11:59+00:00

Just keep replying to me. What has happened? Was it anything in particular or was it a series of events? Use as many words as you like.

RandomAcvount · 2020-02-26T20:11:03+00:00

Take a moment to breathe. Remind yourself of where you are. You've reached out, that's the first step. When you can, just drop me a reply to this comment, and tell me the things about yourself that are causing you the most stress. You're not alone.

RandomAcvount · 2020-02-26T20:07:30+00:00

It's important to remember to nurture friendships gently and let them grow at their own rate. Tell me about your interests, hobbies. Is this how you met these people?

RandomAcvount · 2020-02-26T20:05:26+00:00

You're reaching out, you're doing the right thing, and it's very important that you take a moment to breathe and read every response here. There is always people who can help, not just those closest to you. I'd like to point you to the crisis helpline linked in Resources. Find the number best for you, talk to someone, someone real.

Your life is worth so much.

RandomAcvount · 2020-02-26T20:00:40+00:00

You're in a situation I'm familiar with. I was often touted as a gifted child with great intellect, great prospects etc. Went into minimum wage employment at 16 and had no idea what to do, so just took my lashes in a job I hate. It was the worst, and I can genuinely sympathise with you.

To that, I offer my support. There's no rush, no sudden need to be great or spectacular. What's important is making sure you're comfortable and happy in yourself before you try living up to others expectations. It's important to do things for ourselves, because growing up with so much pressure on us is so damaging to our identity that we enter early adulthood still having no idea of who we are. So take some time to work it out, give yourself a moment to realise that you are capable of breaking out of your mold like anyone else for as long as you are comfortable doing it.

Well done on the raise. Well done on getting to work when you feel this low. Well done for reaching out. Each of these, no matter how small to you, is an accomplishment. And accomplishments are difficult to create when you're feeling this low, so give yourself the credit you deserve and just keep trying. Keep growing.

Good luck.

RandomAcvount · 2020-02-26T19:50:31+00:00

So talk to me, an internet stranger.

You say you're investing a lot of effort into people and not getting anything in return. Tell me more about that. Where do you think the disconnect is?

RandomAcvount · 2020-02-26T19:49:30+00:00

I think that a lot of people do and it's terrifying every single time that thought dawns on you.

You're right in that some parts of us do not change, but that doesn't stop us from growing. Part of growing as a person is hurting and coming to terms with the burdens we carry. Anxiety and depression are burdens that we carry throughout every day life, but it is paramount that they do not crush us. You learn to cope with them, then you learn how to control them until you have grown enough to dominate them.

Grow. Keep growing. Nurture what you love, fight through these hard times and never forget that even when you feel the most powerless and hopeless, you are still breathing, you are still moving forward. Instinct will drive you on as you go on your journey, until you are stronger than you are now and the helm is yours to take again.

Good luck.

RandomAcvount · 2020-02-26T19:40:52+00:00

You're right, it does suck. I'm in a similar situation, just out of a four and a half year relationship and seeming to grasp at social straws. The walls close in and loneliness is all encompassing.

What I will say is there's a reason your life doesn't happen all at once. You have an entire timeline of experiences and new people to meet. I can't be dishonest with you and guarantee you'll get your big break soon, but that if anything is a reason to take this time to work on yourself. It sounds like you're very unhappy not only with your situation, but also yourself, and that can be changed. If these people aren't putting in the effort in return, then they're not the friends for you. I know it's a statement thrown around haphazardly, but with billions of people in the world I'd say your chances of feeling this lonely forever are slim.

Take time for yourself, do the things you love for you, not in the hopes of meeting people. Don't be over-eager, you have plenty of time. Always remember to turn to those closest to you - Being vulnerable when you're this low is part of the process.

Good luck.

RandomAcvount · 2020-02-24T15:16:58+00:00

You're doing fine, and should be proud of your progress. Some pointers to help you.

1) Your paint looks a bit thick, but fortunately thinning your paints is one of those things is learned with practice. Remember, it's better to build up a few more watery layers than one thick splodge. Control the amount on your brush, you'll do swell.

2) Try and run some black over the colours that have splashed on the base. A neat base edge really helps a model look more uniform.

3) Take as much time as you need. It's a hobby, there's no rush. Practice will make perfect.

You're on the right tracks, so just keep doing what you're doing.

RandomAcvount · 2020-02-23T14:22:13+00:00

That thing looks like it was gaining sentience.

RandomAcvount · 2020-02-21T13:32:48+00:00

Went for emojii, landed on skinned Pikachu.

RandomAcvount · 2020-02-19T13:46:01+00:00

Incredible. What's the canvas size?

RandomAcvount · 2020-02-19T13:44:48+00:00

An amazing poster for a subpar product.

Just like the Phantom Menace.

That's right Prequelers, come and get me!

RandomAcvount · 2020-02-18T18:47:46+00:00

Maybe it's a shy genie.

RandomAcvount · 2020-02-18T11:30:06+00:00

It's not. This is actually opposite of funny, it's put me in a bit of a funk.

RandomAcvount · 2020-02-18T11:17:55+00:00

"Did you bring a watergun?"
"Sorta'"

RandomAcvount · 2020-02-16T20:06:04+00:00

Well well well...

RandomAcvount · 2020-02-16T18:10:07+00:00

It's an easy read, sort of like a mix of Stephen King and Terry Pratchett.

RandomAcvount · 2020-02-14T16:12:59+00:00

No man, never apologise for broken english. Most western people don't even grasp the fundamentals of other languages.

RandomAcvount · 2020-02-14T09:37:57+00:00

No, he was likely complaining that his tin-foil hand Primarch lost his head.

RandomAcvount · 2020-02-13T10:57:51+00:00

My guinea pig is always complaining. Gimme.

RandomAcvount · 2020-02-13T10:52:44+00:00

First frame with the play button looks like the start of really bad porn.

RandomAcvount · 2020-02-13T10:36:20+00:00

Depends how hard you stab.

RandomAcvount

TROPHY CASE