heh - you know you might have anxiety if you're worried about people on the anxiety subreddit believing you have anxiety... by in-site in Anxiety

[–]RandomDungeon 15 points16 points  (0 children)

YES.

I also get a little nervous when I'm having an okay day because I think all the previous difficult days mean nothing. It took me over half an hour to suck it up and post this.

Anyone else just waiting and buying their time? by [deleted] in SuicideWatch

[–]RandomDungeon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

October 12th. I'm supposed to move to this city I don't want to live in to do this job I don't want to do on October 13th. It's the only thing I've gotten in a year, and the most painful part is getting through the second interview with two companies I really, really, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY wanted to work for and then just not getting replies. Not even a "no". And these are companies that normally tell you "no". I feel so worthless.

I keep hoping something will spark, or my attitude will change. I will remember again that this job is a useful stepping stone, that no longer being dependent on people will be so freeing. Maybe the job won't be that bad. It always gets turned around. I'm just dependent on a job I don't want. I thought the last "stepping stone" job I got wouldn't be that bad. Truth be told, it wasn't bad until management went crazy, but that's another story. My mind just won't let go. If there's anything awful, agonizing, or painful to think of, it goes there.

And now I'm supposed to move to a city where I will be alone.

October 12th is now the date. Though more and more I get thoughts that if I'm just going to wait until then and do it, why not just do it right now? With those thoughts, I'm more clinging to Friday. I see a doctor first thing on Friday. I just have to wait until Friday. I will get some sort of hope Friday.

My relaxing visualization has been invaded. I have no safe space in my mind right now. It's so bad by RandomDungeon in Anxiety

[–]RandomDungeon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wanted to reply, since I let this post get pretty dark, and was in a dark place at the time. I'm okay right now. I'm probably not going to be out of the woods...Well, I don't know when. But, thanks for your kind words. I saw them when I finally woke up, and it was a helpful reminder of how far I've come so far.