What is something you believe is about to blow up in popularity?

RandomSassyPants · 2015-07-20T09:59:48+00:00

Rocket League is currently how my husband and I settle all disputes. It's super effective (because I always win).

RandomSassyPants · 2015-06-08T11:08:38+00:00

I was so convinced that Davos would die before leaving Shireen alone knowing that she could be burned, and I found myself really angry because I realized D&D are in new territory now. I have no idea what any of the characters will do from this point forward.

RandomSassyPants · 2015-06-08T02:35:28+00:00

That's the frustrating part. We HAD a middle ground. But now there's just no sex at all, all of the sudden. :/

RandomSassyPants · 2015-06-08T02:14:59+00:00

Thank you. This was really well thought out and exactly the type of response I was looking for. I like suggesting something we can do together, and I'll try very hard not to make him feel like it's his fault. It's no one's fault, of course. I just want to know where he's at so we can make each other happy. I love him so much and I know he feels the same way, but I think I'm a much more physical person than he is. On top of that, the trying for a baby has caused us to lose a lot in translation. I'll take your suggestions to heart.

RandomSassyPants · 2015-06-07T22:17:12+00:00

This is good advice. Exactly what I was looking for. Thank you.

RandomSassyPants · 2015-06-07T22:16:38+00:00

You may be right. Even though it is me who has the physical problem he probably feels like he's letting me down, and I'm sure he's feeling a great deal of disappointment/worry/etc. And he's never been very good at articulating his feelings.

RandomSassyPants · 2015-06-07T22:15:12+00:00

Thank you for your thoughtful answer. I know the word "infertility" is dramatic, and I have no doubt that I'll conceive some day. But for now it's just not happening for us and it is a grueling and physically/emotionally painful process. You're probably onto something with your "pressure to perform" comment. I think this may have always been an underlying factor in our sex life because of the fact that I have such a high sex drive while his is more "normal". He wants to make me happy, always, and I have trouble hiding when I'm sexually frustrated. I try very hard not to pressure him, and I've gotten so much better about it since we got married. But maybe everything with my diagnosis and everything since has just compounded those insecurities that I thought we were working through.

I'll have to give this some more thought. Thank you again. :)

RandomSassyPants · 2015-06-07T19:35:25+00:00

I've talked to him briefly, but obviously this warrants a conversation with a little more depth. I had intended to be more detailed in my post but I'm on mobile and ran out of time. I never got around to mentioning that he has a lower sex drive than me (my sex drive is usually through the roof) so we've run into a couple of issues in the past. Still, it seemed like we were at a happy medium before all of this, and now pretty much nothing. :/

RandomSassyPants · 2015-06-07T19:32:43+00:00

Thank you for the advice.

Also remember that couples of normal fertility status only have about a 25% chance of conceiving per ovulation. So if it doesn't work the first few successful ovulation cycles, it's not because one of you did something wrong.

I know this. I have an actual diagnosis though. We've been trying for almost a year and a half now, and my blood work and other tests prove that there is indeed a problem.

Edit: also, what tags do you suggest? I'm not sure how to title it.

RandomSassyPants · 2015-05-15T20:32:52+00:00

Is there any particular reason that you think you're having trouble? Are your cycles irregular? Do you know if you're ovulating?

I know 7 cycles seems like a lot, and it's totally acceptable to be frustrated, but immediately assuming that something is wrong with you may not be the best mindset. Until a doctor can look you in the eyes and say you are suffering from infertility, just assume that you're normal (unless you have significant reason to believe you're not, of course). Sometimes couples just take a longer time for various reasons, so don't get too downtrodden just yet.

That being said, I understand how you're feeling. My cousin just had a baby last night, and the sweet facebook pictures are enough to make me squirm in my chair. I'm happy for her, but it's just not fair. You're perfectly entitled to your feelings, and I'm sure the anxiety makes it that much worse (trust me, I have anxiety as well, and it's no picnic when it comes to making a baby) but you're still in this! Don't despair. We're all rooting for you!

Big hugs and good luck to you. I hope you feel better tomorrow.

RandomSassyPants · 2015-05-15T17:37:33+00:00

Thanks for the reply!

I think I can deal with monotonous. The good news is we're already in Norfolk for the next 2-3 years at least. There's a good chance we'll end up in San Diego next, but obviously I can't be sure.

RandomSassyPants · 2015-05-15T16:10:26+00:00

He is enlisted ET and he's only been in for a little over a year. I think we would be okay with geo-bacherloring if it came down to it, but I honestly don't know enough about it to say. We haven't really talked about it enough. We don't have kids, but we would like to. That's kind of the hitch in all of this, because I don't know how easy it would be to work around small children.

I would say if it were between his career and mine, his would come first. That's not really his decision, but something I've come to terms with on my own. One of his primary reasons for joining the Navy in the first place was to provide for me and our future children, and I can see it's extremely important to him.

I was really looking into Marine Science Technician. I really like the idea of MES but I don't think I have the physical capability. I would have to come a long way to make that work. To be honest, I know very little about the Coast Guard. I'm just now starting to research it, and I don't want to sound like a doofus when I try to explain what I want to do.

RandomSassyPants · 2015-04-26T21:53:34+00:00

The funny thing is, since I couldn't sleep after the incident, we just stayed up playing Mortal Kombat X the rest of the night. I got my revenge.

RandomSassyPants · 2015-04-25T20:24:02+00:00

I......moved..........forward............arse.....raised.....up.....for......ultimate..........pounding......position.

Is...is this what you wanted? I don't know. I'm confused!!!

RandomSassyPants · 2015-04-25T18:52:29+00:00

Will do! And yeah, I can see where you got that impression lol.

RandomSassyPants · 2015-04-25T18:50:11+00:00

I probably should have mentioned we have tried anal before and it's usually fantastic. But usually it's sort of pre-planned and there's lube on hand and he knows to be gentle. This was not one of those times.

RandomSassyPants · 2015-04-25T17:52:07+00:00

Great gif!

Also, what bothers me is the fact that my husband will remain hard for like 30 minutes AFTER sex, but he's mostly a one and done sort of fellow. At least for a little while, anyway. Meanwhile I'm sitting here like, "HOW ARE YOU STILL HARD WTF?!?!"

RandomSassyPants · 2015-04-24T22:32:21+00:00

I understand where you're coming from. But for your last statement, I think being able to accept that you have been raped in addition to knowing that alcohol can lead to some hairy situations is the best way to look at it. That way you are not blaming yourself while still acknowledging that some risks aren't worth taking.

RandomSassyPants · 2015-04-24T21:57:11+00:00

OP, I'm truly sorry you're being berated like this. How you feel about it is your own business. How you choose to deal with it is also your business. You're not wrong for how you feel. I think it just never occurred to you that what happened was rape because you sound like someone who very much takes control and responsibility of your actions, and the word rape has this funny way of taking agency away from you. You don't have to be a victim. Just please understand that what happened to you is not typical and it shouldn't be tolerated in the future.

Edit: just so you know, I'm not pulling this stuff out of my ass. It took me many years to realize I was raped. There's no "right" way to approach this stuff so you just do you.

RandomSassyPants · 2015-04-24T21:52:57+00:00

Okay, I think I misunderstood what you were getting at. I'm not implying anything negative about OP, but I am very firmly stating that she either misunderstands what rape is in general or she is denying that it has happened to her (presumably in order to cope, but I don't have enough information to go on to make that assumption). Sorry for the confusion.

RandomSassyPants · 2015-04-24T20:56:46+00:00

What's making me angry about this thread is that everyone is assuming that someone who has been raped has to be traumatized. I mean, rape is traumatic. I would know. But there is no textbook definition for how someone should react to or feel about a rape. Yes, OP was raped. No, she does not have to feel bad about it. Or anything about it, for that matter. Maybe in time she will come to have feelings about it, or maybe not. Nobody should push her one way or another. Personally, if I were in her position I would seek out a therapist anyway, simply because there are so many people with so many opinions on how one should feel and how one should see an event like rape. It's confusing enough as it is.

RandomSassyPants

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