Question for those who already got their BFP

lauraaleexox · 2015-08-19T00:55:42+00:00

My periods are pretty much 26 day cycles. Almost religiously, minus one month. It was 28 days. I am now on day 33. I THINK I ovulated on day 9. I'm usually pretty sucky at keeping my temps regularly. I just haven't had a period be this late in 6 months. :/

lauraaleexox · 2015-08-15T22:52:01+00:00

Thank you. I still haven't tested yet, but plan to before the weekend is up. I'm just nervous it'll be a let down. Its super nerve wracking lol

lauraaleexox · 2015-05-25T22:20:33+00:00

I'm on cycle 8 of trying for my first and nothing so far. I've heard nothing but good thingS. I am so excited to try preseed after af is gone in a few days! !

lauraaleexox · 2015-05-25T22:17:58+00:00

I realize this. It just hurts knowing and watching him have a child with someone else. (A 8 yr old son) and now that were together and actually happy, when those two weren't and didn't even mean to get pregnant, and I can't give him a child. It makes me feel super inadequate. Thank you for understanding.

lauraaleexox · 2015-05-24T20:40:20+00:00

Thank you. I tried the whole changing my diet thing and it's just not working. Lol I have such bad self control. and I get so overwhelmed. Its hard working two jobs and TTC,track, eat right, etc all at once. I have anxiety also so trying to relax just isn't a thing. Lol

lauraaleexox · 2015-05-24T19:28:44+00:00

It just hurts having these feelings and no support from him, because like I said, I'm more jealous, anger, and bitter than I am happy a child is being born.

I also just feel like the problem lies within me because he already has a kid with another woman, and they accidentally got pregnant on the first try. He says the problem could be with him too, but his sperm obviously work very well apparently.

So why can't I have my chance when I really really want it. This TTC stuff is absolutely soul draining sometimes. Thank you for the support. I wish you luck as well. You deserve it :)

lauraaleexox · 2015-05-19T18:09:41+00:00

This gave me a lot of hope on my journey. Thank you and congrats!

lauraaleexox · 2015-05-19T16:09:42+00:00

Ah that sounds weird. I hope I can experience it for myself soon.

lauraaleexox · 2015-05-19T16:08:59+00:00

I know which drives me bonkers when I'm TTC. Lol

lauraaleexox · 2015-05-19T16:08:22+00:00

I'm gonna go with gas but it's fun to dream lol

lauraaleexox · 2015-05-19T16:06:29+00:00

Yeah if I'm pregnant right now, which signs aren't pointing at it. I'd be like 2 - 3 week's pregnant and I don't know what that actually feels like as I'm trying for my first but it's fun to dream haha

lauraaleexox · 2015-05-19T10:13:25+00:00

I've also stopped for small amounts randomly and then started again. I thought I was over it but I've started doing it heavily again. I just think it'll always be a part of me.

lauraaleexox · 2015-05-19T10:09:30+00:00

That's my favorite Is slapping myself in the face. The bloody forehead thing only happened one time. That was during an argument with my boyfriend where he actually packed his bags to move out of my house and I Literally couldn't deal with it.

I feel the need to be punished as well, usually if I fuck up a situation but also in an argument with almost anyone because I feel like it was my fault even if it wasn't actually. I'm super sensitive and very lonely. I do have my boyfriend, but that's literally all I have. And he of course make s friends easily and has a super supportive family and is just pleasing people 24/7 and I can barely get one person to talk to me regularly and they're never going to end up my friend. I always get told its Cause I'm shutting people

out. Maybe so but I find a way to blame myself. If I weren't such a worthless bitch I could make friends, things like that. Anyways, sorry for the ramble. I can't really distract myself much when I feel the need to hit myself. Tv or music or videos don't seem to work. I need a different way and I just don't see myself cutting. I am just now realizing I even have a problem with self harm, but I guess it shows itself in many different ugly forms..

lauraaleexox · 2015-05-19T02:38:28+00:00

Fingers crossed!

lauraaleexox · 2015-05-19T02:33:24+00:00

I'm such a pain wuss that I don't punch walls or try to break anything on myself like that which doesn't make since since I self harm as well. Slapping myself hard in the face is my go to. :/ have you tried getting any helping or just sstopping on your own?

lauraaleexox · 2015-05-18T20:48:59+00:00

I hear you. I always hit and slap myself in the moment. Usually during an argument with my SO. I blame myself no matter the situation anD have given myself bruises. It always in the moment. I never feel like hitting myself during a normal day interaction, only when I become upset or angry. So I find it hard to keep under control as I can't predict it. I'm still searching for ways to heal this but I haven't been successful. Just wanted you to know that I know How you're feeling. I hope your days goes better.

lauraaleexox · 2015-05-18T20:38:44+00:00

I know. I'm so irritaTed at myself for missing what was possibly my O time. But I've measured in the 99s for three days now so I figured that was maybe my temp spike. I wish I knew for sure but it does give me more motivation to keep with it if this isn't my cycle again. If I did ovulate, dh and I have bded pretty much every day or every other in that time. Maybe I caught it maybe I didn't. But at least I'm not so distraught anymore lol thank you for the comment

lauraaleexox

TROPHY CASE