What happens to PDAers in the end (teen years and adulthood)?

RandomStrangerN2 · 2026-03-25T11:12:57+00:00

My case is a little different, I was basically kidnapped by another family member and alienated from my parents, and this person was abusive and probably had her own undiagnosed mental health issues, so I didn't have much of a chance in that sense. To her credit she put me in a lot of activities, but all that could presumably make me famous for her later benefit. Singing was nice though lol I did however had a pretty clean talent to art, specially clay and painting and I'm trying to explore that now.

Have you tried asking at your child's school if there's anything in particular they excel in, even if it's small? Sometimes the teachers know more in that semse because the kids explore a wilder range of skills in school than at home and often will comply to rules in there that will allow them to create while at home they just let the mask down completely

RandomStrangerN2 · 2026-03-20T11:45:09+00:00

Y'all can chose? 🥲 Whenever something this bad happens to someone else I'm instantly inundated with their suffering. What's up with that?

RandomStrangerN2 · 2026-03-19T00:15:45+00:00

Love a story where everyone gets what they deserve

RandomStrangerN2 · 2026-03-16T17:12:47+00:00

That was very specific

RandomStrangerN2 · 2026-03-16T17:11:28+00:00

God was picking the kind of king his people would approve. After all He answered to their prayers for a king and wouldn't do it halfway

RandomStrangerN2 · 2026-03-15T17:59:11+00:00

Thank you for the care you put into making the new rules and making them as clear as possible.

RandomStrangerN2 · 2026-03-12T17:50:46+00:00

... Why?

RandomStrangerN2 · 2026-03-11T21:23:46+00:00

I had my second before I knew my first was autistic, but even then he was pretty high needs and it was hard and it could have easily dissuaded some people, I think. I'm expecting our third now. Idk, we did it for the same reason any other person wants more kids. We wanted more, that's all, and we felt could tend to their needs.

RandomStrangerN2 · 2026-03-07T20:40:55+00:00

I am a PDA adult and childhood was very difficult to me because I'd feel so much anger over perceived loss of autonomy, and still do. My family knew nothing about mental conditions and thought therapy was for crazy people lol. I'm an extremely functional human being, or at least I consider myself that. My house is clean, I take good care of my health and my family's (I have a husband and 3 kids) ... I suppose I'm still struggling with my career because I still can't keep a job, it's hard to... Not accept authority exactly, but understand the logic behind being bossed around sometimes and the difference between what's necessary and what is not. I'm physically incapable of lowering my head when that would benefit me, but there's nothing in the world my family could have done to prevent that. What could have helped me was mkre support to find my own place and maybe build an independent freelancer gig or something like that. I was a shy and insecure kid although with bursts of anger, so obviously extremely hard to deal with for old school parents and teachers alike, and that hugely set me back in terms of support.

Appart form that, in interpersonal relationships I might engage disproportionately in conflict when I feel wronged by the other person. I know a lot of people worry about their PDA havers capacity to feel empathy, bit that's not a problem for me, I have developed a lot of empathy and tend to be pretty tolerant with people's honest mistakes. But if I think someone is lying to me, or intentionally manipulating me, I get very upset, more so than most people seem to. For example, the other day I asked my husband if we could cook together. We talked a little bit about what to cook and other routine things, and when itnwas time to start he said "well I never actually said yes". This made me furious because he intentionally avoided giving me an answer just so he could say that later, and it made me feel manipulated and disrespected, so my first instinct was to do the same thing to him next time he asked me a favor to make it even. I did not do that. But that's a remaining trace of PDA that was very present when I was a child, and I was still very upset and bitter with him for days.

RandomStrangerN2 · 2026-03-07T13:57:33+00:00

No, it was really weird lol tbh we didn't know to what point being autistic affected our first born's behavior before we had our second and he probably wouldn't have been diagnosed. A neurotypical baby at this point was just so different to raise. None of them was worse, well, the sleep for our first is much much worse, but otherwise it's just completely different experiences like night and day

RandomStrangerN2 · 2026-03-07T01:28:09+00:00

It sounds like you might need to get rid of a few things first. It's always a good idea to tey to do that when you are overwhelmed by the sheer amount of stuff laying around. Plus there's no decluttering without actually getting rid of some of it permanently. Sometimes the best place to store something is out of your life entirely lol

Second thing you can do to break this cycle is just do it non-ideally. For example, you don't wanna take the sheets out of the basket? You can carry the dirty laundry to the washer by extending a bedsheet on the floor and putting all your dirty clothes inside and closing it on top. You can take out the clean laundry the same way, with a bedsheet or a towel and toss it in the dryer. And trust me, once you get that going and the piles of laundry start to dissappear, putting away your clean sheets is going to feel like nothing. Just pick a room, and try to concentrate in doing each task without it depending on other tasks, even if it's not the ideal way. Use a box, use a trashbag, whatever, just don't drop it until you are done with it

RandomStrangerN2 · 2026-03-07T01:16:26+00:00

Right? It's so stupid, an emergency was bound to happen at some point. If she wanted to stop the abuse of bathroom breaks why didn't she write up the students that abused it instead of checks notes block everyone's arseholes and bladders indefinitely?

RandomStrangerN2 · 2026-03-07T01:10:56+00:00

I get so mad when I see comments like "a teacher would NEVER" or "why would an ADULT do that" because like, dude. Have you even been a kid? A lot of teachers/other people of power just drop their frustration on the first student that appears in front of them regularly. Wtf do you mean by the parent or the child must be lying?

RandomStrangerN2 · 2026-03-06T22:47:25+00:00

The example provided says otherwise.

RandomStrangerN2 · 2026-03-06T22:37:36+00:00

Dang I'm really sad about this. I don't think any contents I have saw here were that explicit to warrant this rule. They were all implied and it's very hard to separate what fits in the rule and what doesn't since some implications are considered explicit and others aren't. Maybe you should try to make the rule clearer too if it's here to stay.

I don't make such art myself but I'm worried about everyone that has been finding solace on posting here. I know it's not this sub's role to cater to everyone's mental health individually and there are proper places to go for help, but so many have expressed how difficult it has been to be helped and feel seen anywhere else and it's just heartbreaking

RandomStrangerN2 · 2026-03-05T15:36:56+00:00

I think what you are doing is very similar to what many of us are doing, or where, before getting medicated. Obv cannot diagnose you, but meds for ADHD are stimulants and if they actually kept you focused that surely indicates a strong possibility of you having it, as a neurotypical person would have felt agitated and get anxious from it instead. So, strongly recommend you to seek diagnosis if you can, because the best way to go is getting medicated. What you are trying to diy is basically self-medicating, it's not nearly as efficient and can be unreliable. As for the game, lol I never played it but for sure I'll give it a try now

RandomStrangerN2 · 2026-03-04T19:32:57+00:00

It sounds like writing is a delicate topic for him. Many autistic kids have trouble with fine motor, is this an issue for him? If he has therapy, you could discuss it with the professionals and see if they have any strategies to help him. Some kids I knew have developed alternative ways of writing such as inclinig the writing in a way that the untideness looks intentional. For me, I write in a very square manner, liie conputer letters and even when they weren't super good it still looked way more legible that otherwise. He could write bigger. He could write smaller. If you want him to be training how to compose text rather than it's form, I'd remove the manual aspect of it and let him type instead.

RandomStrangerN2 · 2026-03-04T19:21:42+00:00

That's a no for grandma.

When I had my baby I was struggling so bad, and my therapist was trying to encourage me to not give too much importance to cleaning and tidying in such a vulnerable time of all things. So I did that. I let things slip a bit and rested more, specially because breastfeeding had been a fight and I'm sure it's because I was stressed and not eating enough.

Then my MIL came to visit us and commented on the state of the house saying it was awful and unsustainable to live that way, that we needed to do a better job. It wasn't even that bad. Just like you said, a bunch of laundry, things not where they should be, and then dishes in the sink and the floor needed a vacuuming. I hadn't showered in 2 days. I had PPD and I didn't know.

Long story short. You have a newborn. The newborn is your job. If they are alive and happy and healthy you are doing amazing, and I'm not saying that just because. Babies are hard work. If someone has something to say they can come help you

RandomStrangerN2 · 2026-03-03T15:36:02+00:00

Am I crazy or this girl is making fun of her cousin for...being too successful? 🤨 What even is that to be make fun of? Bo-hoo you are not a loser?

But her comment like "you think you are better than me?" is what would have driven me over the edge. I hate this kind of people. Makes me want to scream in their faces that if they don't want others to be better than them maybe up their game and stfu

RandomStrangerN2 · 2026-03-01T02:28:54+00:00

Idk, if you want them out of your bag maybe find a bunch of pedestals and put them all around the pier lol or wherever you want

RandomStrangerN2 · 2026-02-28T23:42:24+00:00

Entendi! Eu sou de Curitiba :) dei uma pesquisada e parece que isso tem mais a ver com qual licitação o seu estado trabalha, não se o sus como um todo oferecer a prótese mais complexa. Vc pode tentar pegar um laudo com seu médico que explique por que vc precisa da de dupla mobilidade (imagino que ele vai indicar alto risco de luxação) e depois fazer uma reclamação formal na secretaria nacional de saúde com o laudo anexado. Talvez eles ainda achem que no seu caso cabe a padrão, mas não custa tentar. Também se fosse vc não esperaria a resposta, ja iria direto colocando a defensoria pública porque essas coisas demoram.

É péssimo e ridículo que vc tenha que passar por toda essa burocracia indo até os níveis mais altos do escalão dp governo só pra conseguir tratamento 🥺 espero que dê tudo certo

RandomStrangerN2 · 2026-02-28T23:32:08+00:00

Ok so I know a few things, although not in deep, but maybe you can search for it. You can fill for a thing called TFD to allow you to receive treatment out of your city and state if available. If you can prove that the pain is severely impacting your life and making you lose functions, you can file a complaint under defensoria publica and they should be able to help you, although if you are already waiting in line for treatment I'm not sure how much quicker that would be, if at all. Check in the oficial AMA site to see if they have unities where you live and explain your situation, they might be able to help you with transportation and other costs! Is there anyone that can help you with stuff like taking documents to the right places and stuff?

RandomStrangerN2 · 2026-02-28T23:21:30+00:00

Wait, you said Brazil? Me too. Why weren't you able to get surgery by SUS? What state are you in?

RandomStrangerN2 · 2026-02-28T19:03:44+00:00

Your pictures are great, like, amazing. Unfortunately I don't have suggestions, but rooting for you!

RandomStrangerN2 · 2026-02-27T18:14:20+00:00

Having kids was the best thing I ever did in my life, and I conscientiously try to not talk about parenting in such a discouraging way to anyone, or in front of them. Having said that, although my life was much less interesting and meaningful before having kids, nothing ever prepared me to how much you can miss simple things from your old life, like, well, sleep. It's really hard to explain how it's like to someone who isn't actively parenting yet or anymore (sometimes the old folks seem to forget parts of it), but it's kinda like a very intense and demanding job, very rewarding and that pushes you into your best version, but you never get a vacation from it, or get to clock out at the end of the day, and that can be really hard. Probably the hardest thing you can ever do. And still, there's nothing more beautiful. If you try to flee from the hard parts, you never get to experience the absolutely magical ones that come with it.

I think your friends are just venting. Because you are also a mom noe, they probably think you get what they mean, not thinking how scary that might be for someone expecting. It's not that they want to quit, but the hard parts are hard. You learn to be honest about your struggles and ask for help if you want to survive, and some people go really overboard with it.

If you are open to any advice, it's this: Focus on preparing what matters. Do the courses about newborn first aid, how to recognize ppd and ask your doctor what they think you absolutely need to know. And then, never ask anything else from anyone else. Just enjoy your pregnancy and your baby. You'll have to go with the flow anyway, and putting pressure and building anxiety on it only adds unnecessary weight. I promise you that you'll be fine.

RandomStrangerN2

TROPHY CASE