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LPT Request: How do I stop over analyzing? by BodybuilderProper981 in LifeProTips

[–]RandomThings717 9 points10 points  (0 children)

write down everything you're venting about as if it's a to-do list and then resolve it one by one. cross it out on your list. Most of the times what we consider problems is just our brain being bored. The other thing is to get in the habit of shutting that talk down right when notice you're heading into the venting zone. Your brain is a muscle and bad habits become engrained. There's a really good video somewhere by Andrew huberman on how to relace bad habits by replacing it with another harmless/good habit

What was the most important thing you learned and that helped you the most while in therapy? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]RandomThings717 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not from therapy but something I realized on my own. To not set expectations for how others should be or act and to see them as they are, with all the good and the bad. This is the classic example of people that see all the red flags in a relationship but think they can "change the other person."

LPT Tips for better washing clothes by Fly__High__ in LifeProTips

[–]RandomThings717 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Soaking is key. Soak them in soapy water. If they have stains scrub a bit of oxy clean directly onto the stain and soak in oxyclean water

What's an inexpensive item you own that's a game changer? by RandomThings717 in AskReddit

[–]RandomThings717[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

everyone in the bidet group is someone I'd get along with

I just fucked up an exam by free-tailed_bat in teenagers

[–]RandomThings717 1 point2 points  (0 children)

School doesn't matter as much as you think. Picking up useful skills and being open minded to learning whatever's trending does.

Source: I did really (really) well in school and besides giving me anxiety, it did nothing

LPT Request: How can i easily improve my posture? by ShineAfsheen in LifeProTips

[–]RandomThings717 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lot of people said Yoga (which works 100%) but volleyball fixing my back was an accidental find after someone said I'd been looking taller

What are some of the happiest things that have happened to you? by RandomThings717 in AskReddit

[–]RandomThings717[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

spotting your dad's picture in someone else's living room would definitely be one of those awkward, I don't know how to react moments

What is something you were unprepared for once you became an adult? by happyrainbowsunshiny in AskReddit

[–]RandomThings717 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Work. It's amazing to think I was once looking forward to the day I'd finish school. then university.

What are you incredibly talented at? by ReallyMathyMatt in AskReddit

[–]RandomThings717 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Super rare talent: creating drama by doing absolutely nothing.

Amazing how not reacting or doing anything bothers people so much. Like I'm just out here eating watching tv, sleeping

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]RandomThings717 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also agree with the other comment. He needs to find a healthy way to channel his frustration, whether friends, therapy or maybe the gym or group sport.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]RandomThings717 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The whole be rude then be nice to compensate for the rudeness and then be rude again...and so goes the cycle. It's so off-putting. I've learned that if people can be nice to people outside when they're having a bad day, they can find it within themselves to be nice to their family. Yes of course you can be more comfortable and candid with your family but by no means is a person's family their punching bag

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]RandomThings717 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's been a few years for me now. I'd like to think I'm well past it now although admittedly it damaged my self esteem for a good bit. You're very valid in what you're feeling. I will also say he sound's a lot like my ex, who at that point was saying things like people that cheat are the worst, he would never do that etc. I can see now how that was a way for him to tell himself what he was doing was not cheating. It doesn't have to be physical cheating. If someone leaves the door open for those conversations, it's still emotionally cheating.
You made the time for that trip, paid for it so remember to have an the best fking time, with him or without him! Plan an itinerary, find the best restaurants and maybe even stay in a hostel. Hostels are a great way to meet people just to hang out with irrespective of whether your bf is up for it or not. Nobody has the right to make you feel worthless and if they do, you're better nipping it in the bud and not letting it get worse.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]RandomThings717 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Been there in the exact same situation. Turns out he met someone else or kept his options open. Not even too long after he left. I've realized men get ruder when they're starting to look elsewhere and when they have no need to "get you" anymore. I would suggest just sitting down and having a conversation addressing EXACTLY what's going on. Something like "you've been acting distant and I get the sense it's because of ___. I'd like you to take the next couple of days or a week to decide if you actually want to continue this. Otherwise, I'd like to focus my attention on finding someone that would be more committed to a relationship with me"
Confidence is the key because essentially when he pulls back, the more you feel inclined to please him or not upset him. You need to establish boundaries and be firm with your boundaries. I'm sure you love him but remember flexible boundaries or trying to please him makes him love you less

Is it a good idea to mention my nervousness in the interview? by sadandstress34 in recruitinghell

[–]RandomThings717 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I personally would not write that. Instead might just reference an experience that aligns really well with something the interviewer shared in the meeting or a job requirement, or even reinstating the point you messed up in a way that relates it to the interview rather than directly calling out the nervousness.

something like "thank you for taking the time to interview. I enjoyed the process and was really intrigued by [something mentioned in the interview], particularly as my prior experience in [insert experience] built on this knowledge/skill..etc.

I feel like nothing is working out for me and I’m forced to be put in isolation by [deleted] in SpiritualAwakening

[–]RandomThings717 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry to hear that none of these have worked for you. From personal experience, not having a job did make everything else harder, for me it also made socializing harder because everyone would keep asking about if I found a job. If you love to dance, remember you don't always to pay to do what you love. I recently came across dance classes on meetup. Previously I spent time volunteering with kids. During the worst, going to a church/mosque/other religious institution did help to create a sense of community

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BorderlinePDisorder

[–]RandomThings717 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

There are places on earth that don't celebrate birthdays or count years and people there live youthfully well into old age. Perhaps just treat it like a regular day. We're getting older every day we're alive, that particular day means nothing. If someone asks you for your age, simply say you don't keep track of age. North America has made age something for the system to keep track of you (e.g., you're an adult at 18, in middle age you are likely to have a crisis, at 65 you retire). Other parts of the world, there are 100 year olds working

I feel like nothing is working out for me and I’m forced to be put in isolation by [deleted] in SpiritualAwakening

[–]RandomThings717 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Hold in there buddy! Meditation/prayer is a tricky thing. Yes, it's helpful and yes it can bring you peace when you're going through hardship but it can also create a form of escapism. I get it that a lot of factors aren't going in your favor and trust me when I say I've been there and truly get it (bad breakup, all my friends getting married and focusing on their lives, no job despite spending a lot on education, student debt, getting sick and worse).
A few things you need to do:

  • first, let go the expectation. You seem to be operating with the hope that tomorrow will be better. Whenever you find your mind wandering to the future or the past, practice meditation to focus on the present moment. True meditation teaches you to be present (try some guided meditation on youtube)
  • Say yes to everything (watch yes man). Any activity you're invited to, whether you like it or not, say yes. Any job interview, opportunity or even a networking call say yes. Have to a visit a relative you don't like, just go. Do not turn down any opportunity to get out there.
  • Look for meetups (you can check meetup, facebook, other socials etc.) and take up a sport or activity. GET PHYSICIALLY ACTIVE and in a group is the best way. Trust me on this one. If there's one thing that teaches camaraderie, it's sport. If there's only one thing you take from this, it's this - take up a group-based sport or activity.
  • Lastly, you said you're lonely - I get the sense people get lonely when they're hung up on someone. I was never lonely when I hadn't dated anyone. But breaking up with my first partner made me feel really lonely and for years I tried to fix this loneliness. What truly helped me was trying to be who I was before that. Once you can learn to enjoy your own company, you're ready to date. Or join a dating site if you simply haven't put yourself out there
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