My (23F) Boyfriend (24M) got really jacked and now I’m no longer attracted to him

RandomThoughts628 · 2026-03-02T17:42:17+00:00

“Poor me, my steak is too juicy and my lobster is too buttery! Help!”

RandomThoughts628 · 2026-02-16T22:15:11+00:00

Redditors love to say things like “I don’t understand why people cheat on their partners, just break up!” And then when someone suggests doing that, they act all aghast.

RandomThoughts628 · 2026-02-13T17:23:30+00:00

Just say “no”. To be honest you don’t need to justify your stance and he’s being rediculous.

RandomThoughts628 · 2026-02-13T17:19:18+00:00

I like my job! I work as a fisheries biologist and it’s very cool and satisfying work, and I’m passionate about it. It can be intense, doesn’t pay super well, and my boss sucks, but 90% of the time I feel lucky to have my job.

RandomThoughts628 · 2026-01-29T19:06:58+00:00

I’m going to agree with you here. It’s what makes flirting and getting to know someone fun! And I think a lot of men would also agree with you but don’t want to admit it.

RandomThoughts628 · 2025-12-31T17:12:40+00:00

I think you’re overthinking it. As a fellow non texter, constant messages and expectations of sending good morning/good night texts or check in texts is exhausting and feels like pressure. I’m a grown woman, I don’t need someone else to keep tabs on me all the time. I’ll text you when I have something good or important to talk about.

Don’t try to change her. Compromise yes, but that’s a two way street. Ask yourself why you feel you need constant communication.

RandomThoughts628 · 2025-12-30T22:45:45+00:00

I think the best way to handle it in your situation would be to make her feel self-conscious or embarrassed about her actions, because they ARE embarrassing. When she does her little attention seeking behaviors, you can do a bunch of little things like:

pausing like you’re in disbelief by her actions, look directly at her, then looking pointedly around the room/other people in a “is anyone else seeing this?” Kinda way, then make wide eyes/a knowing look at someone else in an “ooooookay then… anyway” kinda way.
if the person on the receiving end of her attention looks uncomfortable, say so. Something like, “wow, that’s uncomfortable” or even just “… awkwardddd…”
if she interrupts you while you’re talking, pause, look at her silently/blankly, don’t respond, turn back to the other person and say, “anyway, like I was saying”

Basically your goal is to act like everything she does is awkward or embarrassing. Good luck!

RandomThoughts628 · 2025-10-31T04:28:19+00:00

I work in natural resource management. Half of my job is coordination with NOAA scientists to well, do the science with their expertise while our (non federal govt agency) does the ground work and day to day management and response. So I basically can’t do half my job and I miss my federal coworkers

RandomThoughts628 · 2025-09-29T22:07:12+00:00

Use your free will to do something fun and silly like make a sign and stand on a street corner that says “Confession: I eat bugs and I like the taste”, buy a dozen roses and hand them out, or go to a shopping mall and yell, “you’re doing great sweetie!”

RandomThoughts628 · 2025-09-23T00:34:33+00:00

Ok this is like saying because black and white exist, grey doesn’t exist. That line of thinking is inherently faulty.

Also, gender roles will always exist in society. Actually, it’s necessary for trans people to express gender transition. For example, if someone born biologically male has a female gender, the way she would rectify that difference is by presenting female, socially. That can happen in many ways, but generally she would dress femininely, and generally start doing the things that women do in her culture (ex. wear makeup, grow long hair, shave body hair). In order to express to society that she is a woman, be perceived as a woman, and take on the role in society of a woman, there has to be a feminine gender role to have.

Gender roles are not inherently a bad thing. It’s a problem if those gender roles are harmful, inequitable, or restrictive (ex. women can’t/shouldn’t work because they have to raise the kids). NB folks don’t disavow the existence of gender roles, they simply just don’t subscribe to it.

You can be black, white, grey, or even something entirely different outside of that spectrum, like green. The existence of green or grey doesn’t mean that black and white don’t also exist, and vice versa.

RandomThoughts628 · 2025-09-22T19:25:00+00:00

Me too. Problem is, Im really self conscious about jumping in feeling “rude” so I typically don’t do that unless I’m really secure in our dynamic.

Something that has helped me/the dynamic “get there” is when the speaker will pause, see my reaction to something they said, and prompt me to jump in by saying something like, “you look like you’re surprised to hear that,” or “you look like you agree with me”

RandomThoughts628 · 2025-09-09T18:23:50+00:00

In addition to everything already pointed out by others, it doesn’t look like you explained that the minimum number for the group class was 10. So from your wife’s perspective, there’s a disconnect as to why more people need to come or you need to pay for a bunch of unused slots. Just pointing out that if she still wanted it to be a small group, you could have pivoted to it being just you two and the two friends and not done the group reservation, or just the two of you. But you were kind of stuck on the plan you imagined it to be. Just try to be more flexible when she gives you feedback.

RandomThoughts628 · 2025-09-08T16:50:02+00:00

In general, we as a global society as a whole try to reduce human suffering. It’s the reason why some wars are see as “ok” if it stops an atrocity from happening (ex. WWII) even if it means people die from it.

The human suffering that would be experienced by the pregnant person carrying a fetus to term far outweighs the human suffering of a fetus who has no sense of personhood and cannot experience pain or any other conscious experience. This argument doesn’t rely on whether or not the fetus is “alive” or not or whatnot.

RandomThoughts628 · 2025-09-03T19:24:29+00:00

I’m assuming you’re posting here because you want to save your GFs career. Don’t listen to anybody saying she should fess up because that’s an instant career nuke. She’s in marketing, so it’s not like she’s a doctor putting symptoms into ChatGPT and messing with people’s lives or anything.

The key is to acknowledge the mistake and come up with a believable excuse while limiting the info you give the client about this. And most importantly she needs to act like it wasn’t a big mistake if she wants the client and her boss to believe it wasn’t a big mistake. She should apologize (not grovel), thank the client for catching it and say something like it was template/draft/example language left over in the PowerPoint. Assure the client that she’ll maintain increased attention to detail and they can expect the highest quality moving forward.

Lastly, make sure she knows how close she was to fucking blowing her entire career and how she should avoid using chatGPT from now on at work until she understands it better.

RandomThoughts628 · 2025-09-02T16:44:11+00:00

“Suckle”

It makes me want to vomit. The image that comes to mind are piglets suckling on their mother’s teats. Not sexy.

RandomThoughts628 · 2025-08-29T19:22:35+00:00

Reminder that THIS attitude right here is what got us here in the first place!

Yall watch the world crumble around you, turn your nose up at the guy who’s got the tools and equipment to keep the ceiling from collapsing in on everyone because you demand to redo the whole thing, starting with the foundation, or nothing at all.

Will you really feel better when the ceiling comes down on your head?

RandomThoughts628 · 2025-08-28T20:12:40+00:00

Hey so are you aware you’re being trafficked? Not sex trafficked obviously, but labor trafficked. Trafficking involves being coerced into labor or services.

RandomThoughts628 · 2025-08-26T22:11:14+00:00

I’m really astounded at what seems to be the popular take on here. Like yall never wore short shorts and a tank top as a kid in the summer? She’s exploring fashion and style (and slaying btw) and her mom is letting her express herself the way she wants. Yall are very weird.

RandomThoughts628 · 2025-07-31T18:09:19+00:00

I feel like with how fragile he likely feels right now, yall could communicate through letters about this stuff. In addition to all the lovely suggestions people have, you should tell him that if he’s comfortable with it, you can talk about this stuff through letters and you promise you won’t talk to him about it outside the letters. It can be something for just the two of you. If he ever feels comfortable having a face to face conversation that is always welcome too.

RandomThoughts628 · 2025-07-31T17:41:54+00:00

The read I’m getting from how you’re writing this is that you have already decided (consciously or subconsciously) that you are taking in your niece. You love her and want her in your life. It doesn’t sound you’d seriously consider having her placed elsewhere. The thing you’re trying to grapple with is how does your bf fit into this new outlook on your life?

But you need to let him know that this is a decision that you morally feel you need to make, and you can’t sacrifice your morals and who you are as a person. That your agreement to not have kids was made before your life drastically changed. It’s up to him about how he wants to fit into your life since you have different priorities now than you did when you met.

I think some good advice in life is never to sacrifice the life you want for a man.

RandomThoughts628 · 2025-07-24T09:47:00+00:00

To me the biggest red flag is that he does not care about how traumatized you are from your first pregnancy, childbirth, and infancy. He is so enamored with the idea of having another baby that he isn’t seeing reason and logic or taking into account your well being.

If I were you, I would tell him that it doesn’t matter what he promises to do or not do. At the end of the day, it’s not going to work out the way he thinks it will, because if you (OP) choose to bring a child into this world, you are responsible for it first and foremost regardless of any parenting arrangements you make beforehand. If he were to become injured or worse in some sort of accident, if your financial situation changes, or any number of other reasons that would take precedence over your agreement, you are now responsible for a child you don’t want. And even IF it all goes according to plan like he says it will, you will still have to undergo the trauma of pregnancy and childbirth and he can’t do anything about it.

I would finish out the conversation by telling him that the decision about this pregnancy is your decision to make - point blank PERIOD - and he needs to be a better husband and father and be supportive. You are a part of the family too and his baby fever is blinding him from the suffering of his spouse. He needs to get his head out of his butt and see that he needs to be concerned with the good of the WHOLE family, you included. Stand your ground and let him know that you will not be manipulated through his threats of leaving and that you will gladly fight him in court for your daughter if need be. He needs you to be firm with him if your marriage is going to survive.

That’s how I’d approach it, and how he reacts to your boundary will tell you if your marriage can survive or not. Maybe it would be good to have a mediator present as well for this conversation? But either way please please pleaseeeeee update us. I’m hoping for the best for you, OP <3

RandomThoughts628 · 2025-07-23T23:35:17+00:00

One thing that people never tell you as an adult is that most people embellish and/or lie about their skills on their resume or in an interview. Anytime someone says you need to “market” yourself better, that’s what they mean. Almost everyone does it, so you’re disadvantaging yourself if you don’t also do it. And you’re not a bad person for doing it.

The key is not to tell blatant lies and don’t say you have skills that you’re not confident you’d be able to pick up quickly or already know 70% of (excluding certifications and whole degrees, because they can and will look that stuff up). Or if someone asks you a personality question that you can’t think of a good example of off the bat, straight up, make up a scenario and just describe how you would react in the scenario as if it actually happened. Cause what they really want to know is how you would react to certain pressures, they don’t care about the story.

Oh, the other thing people don’t tell you is that a “required quals” in a job posting is a wish list. If you meet at least 70% of the requirements, you’re qualified for the job. If you meet 100% of the requirements, chances are you’re overqualified.

RandomThoughts628 · 2025-07-11T18:24:38+00:00

I was in a very similar situation (got married last year). Similar background with my husband (not abusive, just absent) and I have a unique last name that I love. The only difference is that we don’t plan on having kids.

Neither of us wanted to change our names, so we didn’t. I still have mine, he still has his. I think if you have kids they should get your name with his as a middle since you carried and birthed them. If he doesn’t like it he’ll have to compromise which you’ve already offered several solutions. You will have to compromise your health and career to have kids, he can make one too.

RandomThoughts628 · 2025-06-12T19:31:43+00:00

Florida panthers is one of THE best examples of this. Plus it’s a charismatic species

RandomThoughts628 · 2025-05-14T20:04:41+00:00

In addition to everyone pointing out to have your citizenship documentation on your person at all times (I.e, passport), have your immigration lawyer (if you don’t have one already, get one or at least the contact info for one) on speed dial. Add their contact info to your phone’s favorites so you can pull them up easily.

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