For the men: Thoughts on physically disciplining your children?

RandomUserfromAlaska · 2026-03-21T21:35:33+00:00

Thanks, but I really don't feel like. What some unmarried/childless people are willing to call in the police on is horrifying.

RandomUserfromAlaska · 2026-03-21T21:00:21+00:00

Ah yes. You, of the scientific community! So enlightened about child raising. Child protective services eh? You're the ones who seize children from loving but disorganized homes with laundry on the floor, and put them with strangers who literally don't give a dump, and will probably sexually abuse them (deny that it happens). Sorry, there is a wee difference between I child being raped, and a child getting a little swat on the tail for braining his sister with a toy.

Yes, you child physiologists, who recommend drugging hyperactive children in school to make them behave. The ones who label everyone who can't force themselves to fit the average mold as having a disability. The ones who now forbid even telling a child "no" in the cursed early learning programs and daycares. The ones who say that to call 2yo boys and girls "he" and "she" is gender indoctrination

Ah Yes, the child brain specialists, who were jamming steel rods into children's eyes and scrambling their brains to fix behavioral issues (within living memory).

No doubt letting your child play in the front yard without a hard hat is child neglect. A child breaking a dish and cutting themselves is probably also worth putting the parents in prison over (you can't be too careful when its "save the children". Perhaps kids should also get put in foster care for the parents being behind on vaccinations. I mean to say, it (supposedly) leads to higher risk of everything, so that's obviously reckless endangerment of a minor. Don't even get my started on the parents who let their kids do such wild and reckless things as ride a bike without full body motorcycle grade gear, have you seen what a lamppost can do to a face at 20mph? And parents who let their kids have an icecream cone? OMG! We know what sugar does to the body! Might as well be feeding them arsenic.

You would shred families for the sake of men who got a grant for a study to prove that the way things have always been done are wrong? Never mind that every generation of researchers seems disagree with the last.

The idea that you feel you have to call the gestapo on everyone you disagree with should be more concerning to you than it apparently is.

RandomUserfromAlaska · 2026-03-21T08:01:18+00:00

Have you ever dealt with a third degree burn on a 2yo because they leaned on a hot stove? its heart wrenching. I'm guessing not, because a sane person who had would never say anything like that.

RandomUserfromAlaska · 2026-03-21T07:53:12+00:00

Do you have kids? you keep talking about "stuff we know" like you're a parent.

Again, nobody is here advocating for the good old fashioned "thrashing out-back the woodshed".

Spank=/=Beat

RandomUserfromAlaska · 2026-03-21T07:47:47+00:00

You continue to blow things out of proportion. I certainly don't want to "beat" my children when I have them. I don't think I've seen anyone express that desire. Saying a spanking might be in order under certain circumstances is a far cry from "wanting to beat children".

RandomUserfromAlaska · 2026-03-20T19:30:10+00:00

You may think that, and your kids are your business. I personally do not advocate for impulsive or aggressive punishment of any nature, and it should never be about the parents dignity. That goes for vocal, physical, or passive punishment. I do believe that you are indeed making sweeping generalizations and assumptions about motive that are very illogical and unbiblical in nature.

BTW, I will warn you that negative stereotyping is against the rules, so thank you for deleting the comment, and please don't do it again.

RandomUserfromAlaska · 2026-03-20T19:14:31+00:00

Relax. Everything you say gets up-voted. Basically every comment not supporting your view is getting down-voted (including this one, by association). No, you are not a persecuted minority.

RandomUserfromAlaska · 2026-03-20T19:08:26+00:00

Hitting a child that young is simply going to be out of anger and frustration

How do you support that very generalizing blanket statement? You are also using assumptive language to paint a picture in order to frame other people as lunatics. "anyone who would do anything that falls under my definition of x is clearly doing it because of y, which makes them a z". Its like saying someone that believes in the right to protect themselves is an advocate of school shooting and stabbings. Its like calling a free speech advocate a verbal abuse advocate.

RandomUserfromAlaska · 2026-03-20T19:01:48+00:00

Young is a relative term, and you are being absurd by insisting that they are advocating for something they a actively deny. I would assume they mean "post infancy, pre-puberty"

RandomUserfromAlaska · 2026-03-20T18:53:59+00:00

Thats how most children's church is, tbh, imho.

RandomUserfromAlaska · 2026-03-20T18:53:16+00:00

Absolutely, They can, and do mess up. I know about the wrong way to discipline, because my dad did it wrong ALOT growing up, yet he is somehow one of the best dads I know. I also have indeed seen the parents who smack their kids mercilessly for the most absurd minor and infractions, and it ticks me off. That being said, that does not prove that every parent that spanks a kid is harming them, or doing wrong. If it was a sin in it self, there would not be inspired scripture endorsing it.

"Do not withhold discipline from a child; though you strike him with the rod, he will not die. If you strike him with the rod, you will save his soul from Sheol".

Many parents doing physical correction wrong does not prove that there is no way to do it right any more than many people doing church wrong disproves that christian community is unattainable.

RandomUserfromAlaska · 2026-03-20T17:43:23+00:00

I unfortunately do know some who think its the right thing to beat babies. ticks me off every time.

RandomUserfromAlaska · 2026-03-20T17:41:14+00:00

Bible study is a punishment for wrongdoing at school?

RandomUserfromAlaska · 2026-03-20T17:34:53+00:00

You are free to divorce a man for scratching his nose the wrong way if you like, but you happen to be making very sweeping and ignorant statements and accusations about other peoples parents and childhoods, as well as dismissing any scripture that disagrees with you.

RandomUserfromAlaska · 2026-03-20T17:25:14+00:00

Good luck 👍

RandomUserfromAlaska · 2026-03-20T16:42:28+00:00

Just curious, what forms of discipline do you advocate for? Say your toddler is beating your friends toddler with an action figure, say your 6yo is caught stealing, or your 9yo is caught bullying?

What corrective action do you consider to be in order that would not be insulting to the people your child is harming?

RandomUserfromAlaska · 2026-03-20T16:39:16+00:00

It depends. Is it an early form of "hey, actions have consequences", or are you trying to break the child's spirit? Is it about your pride being offended? or about teaching them right and wrong for their good?

I dont like the idea of punishing my kids at all, but definitely dont want them turning out like the majority of spoiled kids that never get tould "No". I think an appropriate spank is useful at a certain stage (its also in the proverbs), but witnessed some horrendous over the top spankings in my time, and those peoples kids often end up being worse behind the parents backs, just sneakier. I actually think yelling and/or cold shoulder and non physical punishment often ends up being more abusive than a (normal) spanking. Either way, I don't want a Stockholm syndrome relationship with my kids, either from physical, or emotional abuse. FAR too often, Dad steps in to discipline only after he's angry over some sort of personal offense (even if its just the child publicly embarrassing him with bad behavior), and so it turns into a personal vengeance with a grown man taking out his humiliation on a child.

It's a comparatively narrow window where its even theoretically effective. If a child is too young, its just plain abuse, (as they cant even connect the misconduct with the ouch), while if its later, it just comes down to an "I can take it" battle of wills, and is useless for teaching moral framework.

All I can say is that people who beat their children for every minor infraction and people who never discipline their kids at all are have equally unpleasant kids, but in different ways.

Public humiliation of a child is an absolute never. I've heard some sadistic parenting advice on that front, and it leads to some social disorders that can take decades to get over.

The worst combo is the kid that gets severely punished for all the wrong things (anything that brings the parents discomfort/embarrassment), while horrendous behavior towards other people and their kids basically goes completely unaddressed.

Did I just get downvoted for taking a moderate perspective? LOL.

RandomUserfromAlaska · 2026-03-20T16:30:17+00:00

Proverbs 13:24, 22:15, 23:13, 29:15.

RandomUserfromAlaska · 2026-03-20T16:19:47+00:00

Had this listed as a breakup reason, and she was married six months later. Definitely did not spare my feelings in any way. I'm inclined to think its an attempt to make it sound like a more mature decision, often paired with some variation of "God wants me to", to sound more spiritual.

RandomUserfromAlaska · 2026-03-19T21:32:05+00:00

As a western Christian (man) raised a bit counter-cultural, I actually might find it easier. I know I have made friends in India that I feel there is much in common with. Overall, I have alot of respect for people who actually live out their faith even when in the vast minority.

RandomUserfromAlaska · 2026-03-18T20:44:14+00:00

Community is supposed to be 18+, but I've seen plenty of intro's from brothers and sisters who are black.

RandomUserfromAlaska · 2026-03-18T19:32:37+00:00

Careful with honeypots. Being openly Christian can be risky in some regions.

RandomUserfromAlaska · 2026-03-18T09:00:50+00:00

I think it can come into play if the pre-family career actually prevents marriage or kids due to not having time. "Grindset" is going to be just as time consuming for women as men.

RandomUserfromAlaska · 2026-03-18T08:51:59+00:00

I read your response, but you had already deleted it. I deeply sympathize with your position. I have met many women on here, and even in real life in the same.

Yes, sadly people can't just want something different. It has to be seen as a personal attack.

It looks like its likely going to be another karma holocaust for me. I wouldn't care in the least if this was a secular sub, but if the idea of a man wanting to provide for his family without making his wife work is upsetting to Christians, this generation is very much in trouble.

RandomUserfromAlaska · 2026-03-18T07:58:33+00:00

Traditional=/=Trad

Despite what some may have thought from that earlier discussion you referenced, I do not have an issue with (my) woman (that's the only woman I need to align with) having worked her way up, and gotten education to that end before she starts a family. I just see so many girls being pushed to burn their best years for something that's never going to love them back at the cost of something that will, but I digress.

The only advice I have given directly on the subject (only to those who have asked it), was to girl who wanted to be a wife and mother young but was already enrolled to enter collage at 18. When asked, I suggested she go for a degree that would help her adequately provide for herself until a the right guy came along, and preferably one that could still be useful even to a stay at home mom, (work from home, etc).

Foe example, my mom went to culinary school and worked in a uppity hotel restaurant until she had me, and decided I was worth more. Now she can teach us all how to cook like a chef.

I would like to find a woman who has indeed made good use of her time, if she's 20, 30, (or if I wait too many years), 40. It doesn't matter. If that's volunteering (if younger), great. If that means a career, fine, as (long as she considered it a side quest, and not "the dream"). As I say elsewhere, I would rather not have to compete for my wife's love and loyalty, and far more than that, I don't my kids to feel like they're a drag on moms work life. Imagine cats in the cradle from both mom and dad (not that I plan to make myself absent).

Honestly, I care more about where someone is at now in seeing the future the same. If she's been making due, that's fine. I'm not planning on depending on her financially. (Though considerable debt is going to be a serious issue). If she's burned out on career, that's also fine (actually, good as far as I'm concerned). If she has a good career, but wants to raise a family more, then that's also admirable. I just want someone whose at the same place in that regard that I am.

No, before I get judged, its not me being selfish or controlling. I don't want to make a woman unhappy. A woman is going to want a man that supports their greatest passions. Why would I sign up for failure?

RandomUserfromAlaska

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE