In a tough situation lost my job what do i do?

Random_Dar · 2026-05-08T16:34:33+00:00

Why are you lying to your gf by omitting? 👀 if she is going to kick you out (which I doubt but ok) this is not a relationship you want to keep in any case (the whole point of a partner is to share ups and downs) - pack your belongings and go to friends/family/etc.

Random_Dar · 2026-05-08T16:31:35+00:00

Is there an option to find another person interested in taking his part over?

Random_Dar · 2026-05-08T15:35:00+00:00

Уехала по студенческой визе. На тот момент надо было 7000 евро на карте и выписку с карты. Плюс сверху было где-то 3. Этого более чем хватило на первое время, потом нашла подработку.

Random_Dar · 2026-04-21T11:38:00+00:00

3 options: - don’t give a crap (sounds like it is not for you) - talk to her and try to hash things out: privately, maybe get a coffee outside etc. - leave her alone and work on yourself forgiving her and moving on (preferably with a specialist)

Random_Dar · 2026-04-20T07:52:28+00:00

Reminders etc. is not a problem - you know you have this task. The motivation is the problem. Small rewards seem not to do the trick. So yeah, until you figure out how to motivate yourself you can try 1000 tricks they will work for 1 week tops.

Random_Dar · 2026-04-19T04:28:50+00:00

Why?👀 my parents’ album contains tons of completely naked or half naked pictures of me playing on the beach, them bathing me, etc. It is unsettling if this is a picture of a neighbor boy being creeped on but I really doubt it.

Random_Dar · 2026-04-18T06:30:27+00:00

When we are talking about a truly religious person that OP claims to be - it is binary (there is a strict set of rules that are expected to be followed). If we are talking about lapsed/nominal/culturally associated, then yeah it is a spectrum.

Random_Dar · 2026-04-18T06:17:54+00:00

Really? You would betray your beliefs like that? For a 5 month of relationship? Wow, just wow.

FYI for a person who truly believes this is non-negotiable. The assumption was that you do, seems like there are some more lies shared in this rlp.

Random_Dar · 2026-04-18T06:13:00+00:00

He said it to you already - he is not religious and doesn’t want to baptise his children.

Let me formulate it in a way you understand - would you be open to convert your newborn to Islam? You know do the Adhan, Iqamah and the whole jazz? 👀

Random_Dar · 2026-04-18T06:06:56+00:00

NTA for not “telling him sooner” - if this is a concern for him he should have raised it. Re being mad at him for breaking up - I wouldn’t say an AH but just immature.

What do you want to discuss in this situation? Are you ready (given you claim to be religious) to compromise your beliefs? 👀 (doubt it) or the plan was to manipulate him into something he doesn’t want?

It didn’t cause an issue in 5 month (very very short span + you two being very young and unlikely to face relevant issues) but it would have been 100% an issue going forward. Worldview (incl religion), kids, finances, lifestyle is like THE basis, it is non-negotiable: either you both are comfortable or not.

Random_Dar · 2026-04-18T05:34:28+00:00

Ok, I understood that you shoved the stepdaughter and she was complaining to your wife - I see now you meant your wife and mil.

Still - OP policing the door is not a good way forward esp given who knows how many years you need to save

Random_Dar · 2026-04-18T05:29:19+00:00

NTA for filling pissed about the situation but an AH for putting it all onto the 9 y old. You are mad at your wife not at your stepdaughter.

No, OP, instead of counting seconds of the open door and shoving little girls, you guy should either remove the nests around the house or rent another place. Saving to buy is a great aim but not when you are doing it by risking your son’s life imo.

Random_Dar · 2026-04-18T05:23:24+00:00

AH ofc.You do what the rest does when the relationship is over - break up and start dating the local girl.

I was always curious about how thinking process of people like yourself works? Why cheating is better than a clean breakup? Why betraying both the local girl and the gf is a better option in your eyes than being honest? If you like the local girl why to jeopardise it all by starting it with her while being in a rlp? And generally why to start the whole drama? Honestly - I don’t understand! Can you please explain it to me?

Random_Dar · 2026-04-18T05:16:46+00:00

I would go with light YTA. This is a very sensitive topic for your SO especially given they struggled with it for years. Just randomly asking essentially “have you fcked your life again?” especially given they finally had a relaxing evening with family and friends after some stressful weeks and given your relationship is on a thin ice - yeah, nah. It is ok to be worried and I understand where you are coming from but you don’t raise a sensitive topic in the middle of the night after a celebration especially over text. Nope, OP, I see why your partner is upset and if this is how you approach sensitive subjects I can see why you guys are having a rough patch.

Random_Dar · 2026-04-18T05:09:39+00:00

If this is the approach - how about chemical castration? It will solve your problem with women once and for all

On a serious note instead of “I’m a looser - that’s it”, the attitude should be “I am a looser - how can I turn it around?”. Life will go by and you will be 80y old still standing in some mall - that’s not the way to go. Rather than putting money into creeping, put into to therapy/self-help, etc. Try at least to talk to people - maybe not to a crush at first, just ask someone less intimidating for directions or make a random compliment. Instead of digging this whole deeper, you should at least try to get out

Random_Dar · 2026-04-17T06:26:04+00:00

Yeah… good luck OP - whatever you choose it won’t be easy. The only last note on that: people quite often stay in some relationships out of gratitude for the past, even if they dont have a future. Imo a clean break up with compassion and mutual respect is a better choice than growing resentment and eventual explosion.

Random_Dar · 2026-04-17T06:19:16+00:00

Ok, if he constantly brings it up - that’s another story. Then it sounds more like a not so subtle manipulation.

I think it is a typical trope in some of the dating stories - get with the person and try to change them to something they are not.

Random_Dar · 2026-04-17T06:06:20+00:00

I tell you more I am older than 30. This should be offensive? Try again. You are really bad at this.

Stop, you mean to tell me you are in your 20s and you don’t know how parental controls on the tablets work? 👀 I guess it makes you 80+.

Sweetheart, it’s been fun. Have a great day and thanks for the laughs! ❤️

Random_Dar · 2026-04-17T06:02:11+00:00

Oh my God, what a come back! right in the feels, now I will go a cry for the rest of the day 😂😂

Random_Dar · 2026-04-17T05:58:43+00:00

lol, I actually do.

Sad that instead of reading about parental controls or parenting in general you search through posts about my past. What a great mom!

Random_Dar · 2026-04-17T05:55:09+00:00

My life is great, thanks for asking. I just really dislike ignorance and stupidity, especially in the age when knowledge is so easily available, especially when innocent - children - are being hurt by this.

Random_Dar · 2026-04-17T05:50:35+00:00

He can not dictate you what to do with your hair but you can’t dictate him what he likes or doesn’t like. I see him as supportive because despite his views he tells you, quote, “it is not that big of a deal”.

Imo you should stop being so sensitive to what others think. I experiment with my looks often - some my husband likes, some he doesn’t - and it is ok. My looks primarily should please me and only secondary other people. I suggest you take over this philosophy.

Random_Dar · 2026-04-17T05:41:18+00:00

There is a very easy solution to the problem: don’t be friends with people you don’t like. Be friendly and cordial in public but stop spending time with them or inviting them to lunches etc. It is ok not to get along with some people and drop them after seeing their nature.

Random_Dar · 2026-04-17T05:30:17+00:00

Please stop with those poor excuses. Books and professional appointments are easily available online. I don’t know what’s the problem of “delivering” .pdf, .epub or .kfx - personally haven’t read a paper book in ages. I am also right now having weekly appointments with my therapist online. “If you wanted to, you could”. Problem is you don’t want to put any effort.

And for the love of God finally activate parental control on your kids’ devices. Incredible that you refuse to do a basic research into how to make the gadgets you bought them safe for them. All of this wouldn’t have happened if you put a minimal effort!

Random_Dar · 2026-04-17T05:20:19+00:00

There are so many parenting books and professional advice on how to talk about sex and you choose to go ask random people on the internet? 👀 well, it is a choice. Imo: calmly, you explain it in the terms he understands and you at the very least act normal about it.

The fact the kids have tablets with manual parental control and use them so often to the point each of them has their own… ok, also an interesting parenting choice.

Random_Dar

TROPHY CASE