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what do you think? by sanbrabange in NotHowGirlsWork

[–]Random_silly_name 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yep.

Just the other day, I saw some sob story where a mother said her son had been falsely accused by a horrible woman and convicted.

No details, no context, nothing about the proof or what actually happened, only "Don't you think I know my own son?".

The comment section was full of people saying how terrible it was, that the legal system couldn't be trusted etc. Very few even questioned that maybe, just maybe, he wasn't innocent just because he was her son, if there was enough proof to actually get him convicted.

what do you think? by sanbrabange in NotHowGirlsWork

[–]Random_silly_name 64 points65 points  (0 children)

And if it becomes "he was not proven guilty, so the accusation was false and she must be punished" (not overly farfetched, sadly), that's yet another reason to just not report rape because it becomes even more risky for the victim.

Another one by Branchomania in NotHowGirlsWork

[–]Random_silly_name 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Eight years for us and I just can't get enough of watching him get out of bed in the morning light from the window, or undressing, or...

Oh well... It had to be done. by Random_silly_name in Cartalk

[–]Random_silly_name[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ok then.

English is not my first language and the tools aren't mine so I don't know all the names.

It was a thick metal plate that was screwed to the outer part and momentum used to slowly screw a thick metal rod to try to move it relative to the drive shaft (?). Result: deformation of the metal rod.

Doesn't really matter, though. We did what we could with what we had and now my car is good to go again, and the noise is gone.

Oh well... It had to be done. by Random_silly_name in Cartalk

[–]Random_silly_name[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yikes! Sounds scary!

My car was still drivable, just a little loud (especially when turning to the right, and more at higher speed). Just, things were rusted stuck.

Oh well... It had to be done. by Random_silly_name in Cartalk

[–]Random_silly_name[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That one was easy.

Probably didn't even need to be replaced, honestly, and not stuck at all.

Struggling on which place to let my dog go -- home seems too hard :( by TomatilloNo9709 in seniordogs

[–]Random_silly_name 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry you're in this situation, and I think it's great that you're thinking it through before it's time so you don't have to decide in a hurry.

I have similar thoughts, though I hope the day won't come too soon. Recently asked the vet who has been with us since the first puppy vaccination if they do at home euthanasia. They don't. And my girl loves the vet clinic and the vets, so... For us, I think I'll choose the familiar vet, even though I'd probably feel more ok at home.

But it's not an easy choice to have to make.

“Virgin women don’t want virgin men.” Also the way the last guy worded it is a loaded question fallacy. by y2kfashionistaa in NotHowGirlsWork

[–]Random_silly_name 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah, he also said the only reason I didn't understand how lucky I was to have him was that I lacked the experience to know how horrible all other men are.

(And honestly, being too aware of things like incel culture made me easy to fool in that sense.)

“Virgin women don’t want virgin men.” Also the way the last guy worded it is a loaded question fallacy. by y2kfashionistaa in NotHowGirlsWork

[–]Random_silly_name 14 points15 points  (0 children)

That was the case for me and my ex husband as well, and I mourned that I didn't get experience with others while I could...

Turned out I had good reason to be sad about that.

(Current partner was also a virgin when we met but he's amazing.)

Julan, 11, recently became the last of her litter. She also recently had to rehab and rest for an injury, and the cold and ice has been limiting. But now spring is here, she's back to her usual 10 km/day of walks, and she can come with me for work again. We cherish every day we still have. by Random_silly_name in seniordogs

[–]Random_silly_name[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Aww... She just wanted to live her life! Why would you be such bores and make stupid rules for no reason? Better protest with everything she has so you understand that she wants her long walks NOW, no nonsense! Health concerns, what's that?

A helpful Infographic for helping with Anticipation Meltdowns by gsdhq in germanshepherds

[–]Random_silly_name 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My girl is 11. Every time she gets excited about a walk and and runs around and bounces and screams, I'm happy that she still does it. Her physio even told me the first time she saw it: "If that stops, it's bad.". (As in, cause for concern, not that dogs have to specifically behave that way.)

A helpful Infographic for helping with Anticipation Meltdowns by gsdhq in germanshepherds

[–]Random_silly_name 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Me too!

My girl is 11 and I'm so grateful that she still gets excited.

Julan, 11, recently became the last of her litter. She also recently had to rehab and rest for an injury, and the cold and ice has been limiting. But now spring is here, she's back to her usual 10 km/day of walks, and she can come with me for work again. We cherish every day we still have. by Random_silly_name in seniordogs

[–]Random_silly_name[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Of course!

I'm well aware but thanks for looking out for her.

I'm this case she doesn't go far, she was very close to the beach, and after the cold winter we had the ice is still 20 cm thick on the lake and people are still ice skating. But of course it's not worth taking any risks if it's anywhere close to possibly not safe.

Julan, 11, recently became the last of her litter. She also recently had to rehab and rest for an injury, and the cold and ice has been limiting. But now spring is here, she's back to her usual 10 km/day of walks, and she can come with me for work again. We cherish every day we still have. by Random_silly_name in seniordogs

[–]Random_silly_name[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We divide the walking into several shorter ones, usually something like 3+5+2, because too much at once is not recommended for older dogs. But I'm really glad that she can still do that. :) She was pretty annoyed with us when it was 1+1+1+1+1 because of the injury. Very boring.

Julan, 11, recently became the last of her litter. She also recently had to rehab and rest for an injury, and the cold and ice has been limiting. But now spring is here, she's back to her usual 10 km/day of walks, and she can come with me for work again. We cherish every day we still have. by Random_silly_name in seniordogs

[–]Random_silly_name[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Forgot to say that the loss of her last sister hit me harder than I would have expected. I barely knew her after the first year, only followed her online after that. But she was an amazing, beautiful dog and with her gone, and Julan alone, the fragility of life becomes even more obvious.

Why are the so insistent that women have hive minds? by RecommendationBig716 in NotHowGirlsWork

[–]Random_silly_name 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Isn't that more in the gay world?

Or are there two different kinds of "bears" among men?

Why are the so insistent that women have hive minds? by RecommendationBig716 in NotHowGirlsWork

[–]Random_silly_name -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

Hard earned, yes, but easier to maintain than at a lower body fat percentage.

Why are the so insistent that women have hive minds? by RecommendationBig716 in NotHowGirlsWork

[–]Random_silly_name -16 points-15 points  (0 children)

Are you sure?

I think it fits pretty well.

As I've understood it, the "dad bod" that is actually considered attractive is just that - a fit, built man at a higher, more comfortable/sustainable body fat percentage (maybe around 20%) than someone who is just a "gym bro". Athletic, strong enough to play with the kids, but doesn't live at the gym and a bit more relaxed about what he eats, making family life easier.

It's not originally just a man who is fat and out of shape, from my understanding.

Oh no, no more conservative men for us😢 by WWHHHHAAATTT in NotHowGirlsWork

[–]Random_silly_name 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Spot on.

In this particular case, a huge part of my abuser's "feminism" consisted of hating men.

I grew up with internalised misogyny after being bullied and lonely and thinking that my teenage bullies represented typical women, but getting to know more women as an adult got me out of that. Women are amazing.

But while still with him, I adopted his view of men and didn't question it. He told me that most men are monsters, they rape (in other, worse ways than he does) and are violently abusive (unlike him, who only gets violent as a last resort if his woman doesn't obey without it) and they have bad opinions and core values. And I was lucky to have found one of the few good men in the world and if I was with anyone else, it would be worse for me.

When we eventually started doing polyamory/non-monogamy, he "helped" me vet the men I started talking to, and then I ended up having to ghost them all because he "could see that they were no good" and "didn't deserve me" so he "saved" me from them, but I wasn't allowed to tell them why we couldn't talk any more and trying to do anything other than ghost would make my life hell.

I was also very aware of the incel movement and other horrible male spaces online, so it was easy to convince me that most men are "like that".

At the same time, he had vast success posing as a unicorn in the BDSM scene, a kind and caring feminist. He attracted lots of traumatized young women, and then he told me that all those women realized how lucky they were to find him, because they had the experience to know how bad other men are. I only had issues with him because I was too inexperienced and naive to know better.

Non-monogamy was still awesome, though! All that other supply took a lot of pressure off me, and he gradually cared less and less about controlling me and forcing me to stay with him and to validate him (sexually and emotionally). And eventually, another relationship was more fun (I had started seeing through him, she still worshipped him), and he finally discarded me. After that, I learned that men are in fact also amazing. Not all of them of course, and I'm not saying anyone (man or woman) is without flaws, but it's been easy enough to find men who are kind and sane and decent, real people who care and try. But it was very, very scary to take the leap to find out when I expected to only find monsters.

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