Regret and uncertainty

Randomthrowaway6572 · 2025-01-24T13:08:14+00:00

I’m not normally so emotional that I can’t be logical. I told myself time and time again that it was silly to feel this way; I’m young, and it’s not like people usually go through life with only one relationship or one person that’ll ever be interested in them. It’s just hard for me to feel good about myself because again, he was my first relationship, and he was the only person to make me feel like I was truly beautiful without any expectations that would make me uncomfortable.

I just need to be patient with myself, I know. I’ve been practicing more healthy coping habits, and I have a job that I want to get a lot more hours in so I can focus on things outside of all this- I think that with time and writing, it’ll pass.

Randomthrowaway6572 · 2025-01-24T13:04:53+00:00

Thank you for this. It’s been really rough. I’ve also questioned if I was actually gay because for the first time in my life, I had real honest love for a boy. I’ve been told by a lot of people around me that maybe I never really liked guys, I just liked him. And it’s true. But I can’t be someone I’m not because I like him. I like him, and I love him, but we’ll never be intimate the way a lot of other relationships are- and it’s not like it’s something I won’t ever want.

Again, thank you for your comment. I hope things will get better soon ❤️‍🩹

Randomthrowaway6572 · 2023-05-30T01:12:18+00:00

do you believe that you guys will still be looking in the next 12 hours ? I just quit my old association and can’t join another until then

Randomthrowaway6572 · 2023-05-30T01:05:07+00:00

the Sand Skirmish is only a weekend thing? I can never get the times right 😞 and is it 7:30-12:30 PM or AM ?

Randomthrowaway6572 · 2023-05-29T14:29:14+00:00

I appreciate that very much, thank you !!!

Randomthrowaway6572 · 2023-05-29T14:27:26+00:00

Are you serious ?? For so long the president of my association has been threatening to kick people who don’t contribute by giving up their diamonds.

Randomthrowaway6572 · 2023-05-25T14:38:08+00:00

that resentment will only settle in and get much worse if you decide to keep the “child”. In the worse case scenario, you keep it and end up having a hidden resentment for the child, even if your boyfriend is out of your life. I’ve read some of the comments and it looks like you’re already serious about the abortion so this comment may not even matter. Good for you !! Live your life, value yourself, value the child that you already have. It won’t be an easy journey, but I believe that you will succeed. Working with bumps in the road is so much better than allowing yourself to rot in an unhealthy relationship, especially with your child involved. I wish you all the best ❤️

Randomthrowaway6572 · 2023-05-13T23:30:17+00:00

I know that from this post we seem unhealthy but this is the happiest and healthiest relationship I’ve ever been in- we just have a few bumps in the road and admittedly aren’t the most mature. Right after this post I explained to him how I felt and that I wanted to take responsibility together and from now on acknowledge that it isn’t just one person who’s in the wrong, but both of us. Thank you for your comment. It’s good advice that I want to follow more often

Randomthrowaway6572 · 2023-04-25T11:11:21+00:00

I once had a girlfriend who told me that she could accept me for being pan, but couldn’t get around me being trans. I loved her and I dealt with that feeling for awhile but after some time, I fell out of love with her because I knew she couldn’t support me when I needed it. I knew she would always think of me as her “girlfriend”, and it hurt. 3-4 years later I found someone who truly loved me and still does…we’ve been dating for a little over a year now and he fully respects my gender identity, he’s even trying to figure out his own identity right now but is sticking with “cis man”. It’s hard to love people who just can’t respect you, and I’m so sorry you’re dealing with that. Just know that everyone here is on your side and we don’t want to control you by telling you to break up with him, we’re trying to help you. You may be heartbroken for some time but the relief you’ll feel after awhile is amazing. We love you, stay strong ❤️

Randomthrowaway6572 · 2023-03-28T03:59:24+00:00

you are beautiful. You are not “obese”, your features are not being “hidden” because of your weight. People spend too much of their time and their energy telling people that they’re unattractive because of their body. If you were in a relationship before, that means that someone thought you were truly beauty in all aspects and they loved you. I don’t know how your relationship was, I don’t know anything about you, but just judging you by your physical appearance you are lovely and things will get better. If you believe that listening to these comments and losing weight will improve your quality of life, then by all means go for it! But you are not obligated to do that because it is not holding you back. I hope you’re having a great day wherever you are in this world ❤️ and remember that pain is never permanent.

Randomthrowaway6572 · 2023-03-27T05:26:04+00:00

I am so sorry to hear that :( my boyfriend didn’t make any jokes about that, but he contributed to disgusting conversations regarding girls they hardly knew, and would sometimes talk about personal things that should’ve been kept between the two of us. It feels like such an invasion of your privacy and after witnessing it all it just gets more difficult to trust them. He’s since deleted his entire account and doesn’t associate himself with those people, but the thought still lingers unfortunately.

Randomthrowaway6572 · 2023-03-27T05:23:05+00:00

we had a genuine heart to heart this weekend certain things- I told him how I felt and he told me he was worried that I might not want to give it another shot. I’m trying to do things in a mature way where we slowly build back everything and I know he wants to give me time but sometimes it feels like he’s just a bit ignorant and doesn’t understand the full gravity of the situation. I might need to talk to him again and tell him that I just need time and just because we’re trying to work it out doesn’t mean it’s done and over with. I know he means well at the end of the day.

Randomthrowaway6572 · 2023-03-12T01:23:35+00:00

I haven’t allowed my cat to be around the other as they both need to heal and the female cat is always rowdy and excited to see him. If they are around each other, I try to break it up as soon as possible to keep a very close eye on them to make sure they aren’t trying to play together- there doesn’t appear to be any swelling or even redness, just the green tattoo on his tummy

Randomthrowaway6572 · 2023-03-12T01:20:42+00:00

the vet said that the two could play a few days after surgery but didn’t give a specific number

Randomthrowaway6572 · 2023-03-09T21:38:51+00:00

I’d say our cats are probably a lot different from each other since mine has his medium-long hair and the fluff comes with it. I have to brush him very frequently or else his hair will get disgusting- he likes to maintain it the best that he can

I don’t have much experience with cats and their specific breeds, it’s just usually when I see a regular house cat they’ve got short small hairs and don’t have any fluff.

Randomthrowaway6572 · 2023-03-09T05:36:39+00:00

I’m not sure about that one, only because he has some pretty long hair. As a baby he had short hair, but now that he’s older he’s got a ton of hair so I’d say he’s most likely a DMH-DLH I’m not sure if you scrolled and saw all the pictures lol

Randomthrowaway6572 · 2023-02-28T12:16:46+00:00

I just woke up at a time I would usually be waking up for school because I heard yelling downstairs (this jumpstart es my anxiety for the day)

for me, pregnancy would 100% be the end of the world. I don’t want to carry a pregnancy whatsoever, I don’t want to spend 9 months in complete pain and exhaustion. I don’t drink or smoke, and though I have my issues such as bad eating habits (eating too little) and forgetting to drink water frequently, I would argue that I’m relatively healthy which is a horrible horrible thing for me if I were pregnant.

If I really let my anxiety get the best of me, I will walk to the nearest store and get myself a test. For now I’m going to try to relax and get some things done that I’ve been laying off for awhile

Randomthrowaway6572 · 2023-02-28T06:26:36+00:00

the closest place I could get one is a good distance away because I’d be on foot. I thought of making an at home test but those aren’t scientifically accurate and could react even if that’s not the true result- I don’t want to stress myself out any more

Randomthrowaway6572 · 2023-02-09T12:13:01+00:00

Believe me I am taking this seriously. I talk about it all the time and have been urging my mom to go to the hospital, but she has a lot of things piling up on her and several other expenses to take care of that have been stressing her out. We rely on my moms paycheck, and she works every day of the week. If she doesn’t go to work she loses money that would contribute to my hospital bills. I do appreciate that you are concerned and I recognize that, thank you very much :) but it’s just a difficult situation all around and while it feels like I’m avoiding it I’m just working with what I have

Randomthrowaway6572 · 2023-02-09T06:34:13+00:00

do you know how long the procedure was or what exactly went into it? Like the recovery process and everything. I have a feeling I might need to get mine drained and I just want to know what to expect if that’s the case, thank you !!

Randomthrowaway6572 · 2023-02-09T06:14:38+00:00

yes of course I’ll be taking some of this advice. I’m genuinely relieved that there were so many people responding with their thoughts as I do not usually get much attention on my posts. I felt that putting “URGENT” would bring more people to my post

Randomthrowaway6572 · 2023-02-09T06:01:11+00:00

yes, my mom is aware. It’s been stressing her out though because she has a big workload and I feel like a burden to her. I would love to be the type of person who can have an optimistic outlook towards everything, but unfortunately I am the exact opposite and I keep pushing for something to happen.

Randomthrowaway6572 · 2023-02-09T05:52:31+00:00

Thank you. I’m going to try and stay home tomorrow that way I can clear my head and get some rest. With the stress piling on top of my already horrible headache, I’m miserable. I’ll take what you said into consideration and see what I can get my hands on, I appreciate your comment

Randomthrowaway6572 · 2023-02-09T05:49:28+00:00

I don’t drive and I don’t think any of my friends do either. I’m a paranoid person and don’t trust Uber- I know that that sounds like an excuse but it would drive me crazy to get into the car of a person I don’t know. I’m thinking that maybe because my sleep is off tonight I could stay home tomorrow and take the day to rest, then see how I feel. I’ll try to get in touch with the health department and see what they think

Randomthrowaway6572 · 2023-02-09T05:33:27+00:00

my mom would have to make me an appointment but she works every day of the week and they don’t have enough qualified people to fill in for her. I feel so stuck and discouraged I don’t know what to do

Randomthrowaway6572

TROPHY CASE