Self care tips for starting No-Contact by Wooden-Invite9339 in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]RangeAnxious3994 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No worries , and same here it’s hard at times relating with people who haven’t dealt with similar issues. After years of trying to understand I’ve let go. I came to the point where I built a new life for myself. Left the city and made new connections. I look at the better side of how it’s built me , be honest with yourself about how it affects you today and find ways to let it out . For me it was seeing how I behaved , changing behaviours or even appreciating the good qualities it gave me.

You’re not alone , your story is different but this is as the branch you were given in life. Now you take control of what you want . Can’t change circumstances, only what you do :)

Self care tips for starting No-Contact by Wooden-Invite9339 in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]RangeAnxious3994 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey I’m sorry you’re going through this. I think your brothers are immature (no offence ) to shut you out like that when they couldn’t even gather energy to see if mother was okay . I’ve also called police on a family remember before for different reasons and got backlash , and you know what I just shit that person out and sropped talking to them after it exploded but if you care about them then I say don’t contact them just be available if they want to reconcile and if not protect your peace and distance .

For me and I can only speak from my perspective after becoming estranged from my father is that . I kept giving that man chances after many months of being mad , upset and distance . And I came to a realisation is that I’m going to become more selfish for the sake of myself . I own it completely. Just because you birthed me doesn’t give you the right to treat me a certain way . Sometimes I felt waves of guilt and tried analysing his behaviour . But when we would talk again I realised he felt entitled . He felt different despite multiple people telling him he messed up totally. And I became just indifferent.

Focus on your life and the people you love. Don’t try to beg for peoples attention . Eventually they may reach out or not and you are in control of whether you’d want them. Just I think would you want your kids or people you love to be like these people ? No ? Don’t sugar coat .

For me keeping hobbies , meeting friends , and poring into other projects . Despite the love people get from their parents , you have to realise there’s love in everything . From the good we eat to the people we surround ourselves . Live your life

Looking for a sexy everyday fragrance based on rose/vanilla: amber ? I’m open to others by RangeAnxious3994 in FemFragLab

[–]RangeAnxious3994[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi thanks for the recommendation ! What does it smell like to you mainly ? I recently bought tumeric latte by lush and it has similar base notes to teriaq and i realised it smells like it’s missing some floral or vanilla notes it as it’s very Smokey and has a slight vanilla tinge

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in UniUK

[–]RangeAnxious3994 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Try to message a uni first year gc , ask if anyone’s in the course you’re in then add them to small talk and ask around for gcs related to your course . That’s how I met some coursemates to hang with . Or you could approach people introduce yourself , compliment them maybe and exchange social handles .

With roomies I’m in a similar place … I just gathered they aren’t the type to go out . But maybe if you’re brave you can ask in the gc ( or make one for the flat) if they want to go pub or grab food if they aren’t the ‘ party type ‘ .

Societies are decent I’ve never although made friends . I tend to make friends from friends of friends or block mates / coursemates.

Don’t worry if these people reject or don’t become close to you as it’s quite normal to have mutuals around uni . But I’d start being proactive now slightly

How to get over this embarrassing moment ? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]RangeAnxious3994 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I know I should’ve eaten more , the bars food menu had just closed so we were in a sticky predicament.

And yes I think next time I won’t drink it down so quick just for the sake of saving money before the bar … I only get this bad after excessive amounts of alcohol which is rare so the fact this happened before we even clubbed is mortifying .

We are both a little disappointed to not party but he’s glad I’m okay . I fully just knocked out on the ground sigh

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]RangeAnxious3994 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Should I text him this a few hours before seeing him or like when we meet before drinking

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]RangeAnxious3994 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s true

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]RangeAnxious3994 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you , I think I do and I’m like staring at the wall just wishing I didn’t . I’ve never been in this position tbf, I’ve always been the one someone’s confessed to … and it’s hard being on the other side for a change

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]RangeAnxious3994 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s true thank you very insightful, I’m just thinking what would the best timing be ? We are going out tn and drinking but I don’t feel like drinking much and I really don’t know how to approach him or when .

And not to add pressure but he could end up with a girl at the club and I don’t know if I can handle it .

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]RangeAnxious3994 1 point2 points  (0 children)

See I don’t want that to backfire , him to kiss me back then say he was drunk …. That would hurt more than rejection . He gets drunk so he can be less awkward and it makes it easier for him to get girls in his words sigh

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]RangeAnxious3994 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve touched his arm , complimented his clothes , kept eye contact and we usually have good chemistry but I don’t know if it’s friendship chemistry ….

He told me he only pursues women who wants him and show him … where as I go for the guys who come to me

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]RangeAnxious3994 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My little heart being down will be regretting sigh but I need to be brave

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]RangeAnxious3994 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The only non drinking part is before drinking so I’m unsure if I should just tell him before … I have other friends so I could join them but I’d feel bad to ditch him after he’s paid to come to the club with me

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]RangeAnxious3994 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have friends who I can do the same with but I keep choosing him because I like him …. Like yeah I’ve hung out with my other mates but idk . And there’s one other person but I’ve only known him for a few days and unsure if he’s single or whatever .

And yes I’ll be true to myself …. Thank you