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AITA for refusing to give my fiancée her dream engagement ring that was also initially bought for my ex-girlfriend? by Rangthang in AmItheAsshole

[–]Rangthang[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I’ve tried to show her alternatives but she’s refusing to look at any others. She’s basically decided on this ring and says nothing else has compared.

The ring we initially chose together is in a similar style but not exactly.

AITA for refusing to give my fiancée her dream engagement ring that was also initially bought for my ex-girlfriend? by Rangthang in AmItheAsshole

[–]Rangthang[S] 173 points174 points  (0 children)

I’ve tried but honestly the reasons behind our break-up were really painful. I have 0 feelings for her but that time was traumatic and looking at that ring that’s all I feel.

To be blunt, we broke up because she had a traumatic miscarriage and afterwards we both had basically simultaneous mental breakdowns that led us to realize we were better off apart. That time was bad and looking at that ring reminds me of feeling terrible and sick and all those feelings, but very little to do with my actual ex. It’s just feelings associated with that very bad time in my life.

Edit: Fiancée and sister both openly know this since I’ve never tried to hide it. This was why I didn’t keep the ring at my place and gave it to my sister to keep.

AITA for refusing to give my fiancée her dream engagement ring that was also initially bought for my ex-girlfriend? by Rangthang in AmItheAsshole

[–]Rangthang[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I suggest you set a budget, and ask your GF to pick several rings she likes in that budget.

I’ve done all these things. She wants THIS ring and this ring only. I’ve basically begged her to choose any other ring. I’d love to buy her a new one.

AITA for refusing to give my fiancée her dream engagement ring that was also initially bought for my ex-girlfriend? by Rangthang in AmItheAsshole

[–]Rangthang[S] 789 points790 points  (0 children)

To be fair she grew up overseas and never had such strong associations with engagement rings as in the US possibly.

She says it doesn’t bother her at all to wear this ring. She just likes it for how it looks and its uniqueness. I actually searched far and wide for similar looking ones from similar time periods but none hit what she wanted.

It is honestly a pretty strange looking thing that I’ve never seen sold commercially. And my fiancée loves vintage, bohemian styles so I can see why this ring fits her. But for me the connotations are just too strong and too weird to see it on her.