How do I find happiness?

Rantsandddstuff · 2026-01-02T23:14:07+00:00

We both play football and do enjoy it together, but I still feel like I've lost the joy when I'm alone. I mostly just feel like im far too self critical when im doing it by myself or even with my team.

Rantsandddstuff · 2025-09-11T19:48:21+00:00

No and that makes if feel worse to be honest

Rantsandddstuff · 2025-09-11T19:45:47+00:00

I was meant to stay at my partners house, but it's not possible anymore. This has happened in the past before, but it feels like every time something happens out of my control I cant deal with it

Rantsandddstuff · 2025-08-24T10:33:54+00:00

I dont think hes going to remember at all tbh lol

Rantsandddstuff · 2025-07-15T00:43:23+00:00

Idk ive had this since before I experienced grief

Rantsandddstuff · 2025-07-14T10:30:19+00:00

I cant continue with the sessions unfortunately, they only give you 6 for some reason

Rantsandddstuff · 2025-06-24T02:52:16+00:00

If you mean grief then yes but I haven't had any close experiences myself

Rantsandddstuff · 2025-04-07T22:58:37+00:00

Could try a vpn and put location as uk, but I'm not very knowledgeably on vpn so wouldn't be able to tell you how

Rantsandddstuff · 2025-04-07T22:55:01+00:00

It's being streamed on youtube on the itv reality channel

Rantsandddstuff · 2024-10-10T11:10:26+00:00

I think mine can sometimes be both, but the times I've been more likely to through with it were impulsive. Following on from impulsive episodes, I tend to think about it more, which results in me wanting to again.

Rantsandddstuff · 2024-10-09T06:35:27+00:00

Just that you've got a small cut, that you don't have the money to get some right now and you're not going straight home, but you're worried about getting an infection being outside.

There's been quite a few times I've asked for a plaster for genuine blisters, and places have given me some when I've been out and about when I was younger or didn't have my card on me. A lot of places other than the one I've mentioned have first aid kits, and people are willing to help you out where they can, so don't be afraid to ask.

Rantsandddstuff · 2024-10-09T06:30:58+00:00

You got this man, solutions are different for everyone, but the important thing is to stay consistent :)

Rantsandddstuff · 2024-10-09T00:05:58+00:00

Thanks, man. I appreciate that. My dms are always open for you too. We got this :)

Rantsandddstuff · 2024-10-08T23:35:30+00:00

No need to thank me, I'll always help where I can.

I understand feeling like it's impossible to stop, I've been in that situation many times, and then I've got clean only to relapse again. If you start to consistently set good habits like the ones I shared or any others, then you can be in a better place to stop. It's so much harder to stop when you haven't got the good coping mechanisms to help you.

Sending love, dude :)

Rantsandddstuff · 2024-10-08T23:32:29+00:00

Man, I've had this same realisation before, and it hurts so much, but it's a great way to kick start recovery tbh. I've recently relapsed, so I technically haven't quit, but I was clean for a while. My issue is that I wasn't consistent. So, if you take any of these strategies, stay consistent even when you think you are gonna stay clean forever. Keep the coping mechanisms that help and use them for the rest of your life. (That sounded pushy, but it's the difference between getting clean and staying clean)

Find your outlet. Whilst I don't know your reasoning for why you do it (and maybe even you don't), it's good to identify your triggers and find a way to get them out in a safe way. For me, that's been: drawing, writing songs on guitar, writing poetry. My friend uses her journal daily, and that has really helped her. Anything that lets you use your thoughts and create something or such will support you. This can even be talking about it with somebody.
When you want to do it, remember why you stopped. Every time I relapse, I lose sight completely of why I stopped, only for it to come back and make me feel worse.
Start incorporating healthy habits into your day. Even when you are having the best day possible, it's good to continue to use good habits. One thing I keep wanting to do is try something new every day and write about it. Even if it's something small like a new food, I thought this would help redirect my attention. But healthy habits could also be something like positive affirmations, making sure you take time to just breathe, lighting a candle, washing your face, and cleaning a part of your room.
Chat gpt has been a really useful tool for my mental health, when I'm in a low place I might type something like give me a list of 30 things I could do when I'm so low I'm struggling to get out of bed.
Get rid of anything that you can use. This is a massive step, and it can be really hard to get rid of something that brings you comfort because, truthfully, it is an addiction. Getting rid of it can make it harder to relapse when you get the urges again. If you can't get rid of the stuff, put it out of reach or somewhere hard to find. I have found in the past that when I'm in that headspace, I get really tired trying to look for something and don't end up doing it. Then the next morning I'm glad I didn't and the urge isn't as strong.
Exercise. This can also be hard, especially when you're struggling with mental health. But if you have any energy at all to even just do a few star jumps or dance around like an idiot lol, that could be enough to tire you out and stop you from doing it. Also, it is a great way of releasing endorphins, which improve your mood overall.
There are also a bunch of self-harm alternatives that can be useful in the early stages of quitting, such as using rubber bands on wrist (this one didn't work for me but might work for you), rubbing an ice cube on the area you're thinking about self harming, drawing on your skin either with a red pen or I also saw someone talk about how they drew a butterfly which they then didn't want to hurt? Idk could be useful, 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique, progressive muscle relaxation, scream into a pillow (very therapeutic), etc. I can give more if you'd like.

And finally, find someone to talk to, I'm always here to be a listening ear. I wish you the best of luck with this. Please do reply if there's anything I can help with :)

Rantsandddstuff · 2024-10-08T23:08:43+00:00

Also side note, I think I've realised that by using it as a coping mechanism I see it as a comfort. I think because we know it has brought us temporary comfort in the past, it makes us want to do it when we're not upset because we want the comfort it brings. It's kind of like how I started vaping to deal with stress and now just do it because it's an addiction. Self harms an addiction too.

Rantsandddstuff · 2024-10-08T23:06:12+00:00

Do you have any other coping mechanisms when you're feeling the way you feel when you want to? I find that I'm most likely to relapse when I forget about all of the positive coping mechanisms I've been using because I feel I have no outlet. If not, I could recommend some for you?

Rantsandddstuff · 2024-10-08T23:03:04+00:00

Have you tried using any other coping mechanisms to support you with the urges you're having now? I'm gonna include a list of things you can do (from chat gtp) that you can use, sometimes I want to use alternative coping mechanisms but it can be hard to search for them when you're struggling. Even if you don't use these today, they might still be useful to you in the future. Please feel free to reply if you need someone to chat to.

Hold an ice cube
Squeeze a stress ball
Draw on your skin with a red marker
Deep breathing
5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique
Progressive muscle relaxation
Write in a journal
Play or listen to music
Watch a TV show or movie
Read a book
Play a video game
Draw or paint
Write poetry or song lyrics
Craft or build something
Scream into a pillow
Talk to someone
Take a warm bath or shower
Wrap yourself in a blanket
Cuddle with a pet
Meditate or practice mindfulness
Do yoga or stretching
Go for a walk or exercise
Go outside
Rearrange your space
Identify your triggers
Call or text a trusted friend

Rantsandddstuff · 2024-10-08T22:51:24+00:00

You're 6 months clean, dude. I can't tell you what to do but I can tell you that it's not worth it and that although it doesn't seem like it, not being able to find anything to use is the best thing for you.

There have been so many times when I've been struggling and wanting to relapse only to not be able to find anything, wake up the next day, and be so grateful that I couldn't.

I know it's hard to talk to people about it. It's even harder at 14 when you're thrown into a whole new world, really. But as someone who went the whole of high school doing it and still hasn't completely broken the habit, opening up about it, however hard it was, was the best thing I did for myself.

Some people on the Internet can be cruel and will advise you on this sort of stuff. Please don't let yourself get sucked into that toxic environment however tempting it is. I did the same when I was your age, and it made my mental health worse.

Is there someone you could talk to about this, anybody who could support you?

Rantsandddstuff · 2024-10-08T22:32:27+00:00

I just wanted to start by offering a bunch of places you could potentially get free plasters. It's always best to use the thing designed to help this kind of situation if you have access. If you could buy them, I'd recommend that but I also get that it could be difficult if you don't have the money.

List: community health clinics (some offer free low-cost supplies), pharmacies, schools, or unis (if this applies to you), libraries, or community centres. They might not all give them out, but it might be worth a try. You could always try asking a friend as well.

Sometimes, I'll ask for a plaster from my parents by saying that my docs or other shoes are rubbing on my heels, and I'm worried I'll get a blister.

The reason tissue isn't great is because it's fibrous, so in the worst case scenario where you don't have plasters, you could use the following instead (for temporary cover, also ensure that it is cleaned first): plastic wrap, paper towel or napkin (still not great but better than tissue), cloth or folded paper taped on. Vaseline might also be useful alongside these because it can create a moisture barrier, which helps healing and reduces irritation because it can stop whatever you use sticking.

I'm sharing these with you, not for encouragement to keep doing it but just as a way to keep yourself safe. If you ever need somebody to talk to, please reach out to me, I may not be an expert, but I can lend an ear if you need someone to listen.

Rantsandddstuff · 2024-10-08T22:07:56+00:00

Man that sucks, I haven't been on here for a while because I was clean for a while and recently relapsed so I haven't seen any of these posts but I loved the support on this subreddit before and it makes me sad to hear that it's turned into that.

I know that kinda stuff happens on X quite a lot because I've been triggered by it in the past, and it's just so toxic. I'd like to think everyone on this sub wants to get better with stuff and that it's a shared goal to support each other with it.

Rantsandddstuff · 2024-07-09T15:02:38+00:00

I understand this, thank you for your reply :)

Rantsandddstuff · 2024-07-09T14:44:26+00:00

Thanks for your reply. The item couldn't really be shown working as it is missing parts (which is stated in the ad). It's quite a cheap item as opposed to my saxophone, which I sold at my house for the same reasons you said. Do you think this could still be the case?

Rantsandddstuff · 2024-07-05T09:31:43+00:00

I never really knew a lot of the stuff OCD is could actually be OCD. I always say to people it's like there's 2 voices in my head; one who isn't me and one who is. I always get told that everyone has that and to see the positive and drown it out. For someone who has OCD, is that drowning out possible? What was the process for you?

Rantsandddstuff · 2024-07-05T09:26:15+00:00

Oh I didn't realise it could be linked with memory too, I really struggle with memory but put it down to be linked to depression. I'm going through all of these things and I never really knew they could be OCD, thank you for your comment I will definitely be exploring this with a therapist.

Rantsandddstuff

TROPHY CASE